I Believe We Are Meant To Be!

It happened seven years ago when my cousin first told me he loves me, I was sixteen and he was fifteen at the time. Though ever since he was Five he had always thought I was younger cause of my young appearances and the way I seemed innocent.
To be honest though he was younger he remembered more than I did , All I seem to remember about me and him was later on when I was eight or nine and he had moved closer to where I lived.

This was time at the age of nine I noticed thing this was time we spent a lot of time together and was very close.
But after a while though I didn’t visit him as much, a least not until the birth of my baby brother and because my mum and dad were working.
My little brother spent a lot of time over at my cousins, where our grandma took care of him. Hence the reason why? I spent more time over there over the few years.  
And this was when I started to notice my feeling for him, I felt something for him even before this time too, but I wasn’t aware till now.
Due to the absence of not seeing him sometimes I realize how much I love playing with him.
And right this time he was on a stage where I had named it his mean stage.

But even though he was mean, I still wanted to spend time with him even if some of his words hurt me.
However a few years later as my little brother gotten older, He started to change.

I was as confused as ever whether he actually liked me or not at this point. Because he was at his mean stage and at the same time he would play games like doctors and nurses. Games that require coupling or me been kidnapped by him.
I was very confused and it didn’t help me much seeing as at this time I was fourteen or fifteen at the time. So I was in the mid of teens and was pretty much depressed all the time.
All my friends at the time seem to go on about boyfriends ECT and before I rarely cared about having a boyfriend or not. It wasn’t something that came to my mind.
All I really cared was playing with my cousin, spending time with him.
Sometimes I would always think about whether to go to over to his house, but I always said yes because I loved playing with him. I loved it so much that I would get excited going over sometimes and then be disappointed in the end when we don’t.
I think a year later my grandma on my father’s side passed away, and my mum, dad and my older brothers had to go back to Hong Kong for the funeral. My grandma hadn’t died of natural causes too, so I had stay with my little brother at my cousin for three weeks.

This was about the time my cousin started to change, he had become nicer too me. At this time I believed it was when he had become my best friend.
We talked a lot and he was very sweet and caring, and he even suggested I might like one of his friends, and gave me advice on guys when I asked. But out of honesty I did do something’s to try and make him jealous. I still wasn’t sure if he had interest in me or not.
But that changed later on, one day I was very fed up and depressed with everything around me. At time like this I would do stupid things like taking over doses pain killers either hoping it will kill me or that make everything around me better.
But This time he was around me so I want on and on about my life how I won’t get any good fortune in my life I won’t even get a boyfriend .
And that when he told me he loves me, I knew he was struggling to tell me.
He was scared and I knew he thought he was going to hear words like But I don’t like you. But he was wrong, I actually been longing to hear those words from him, “I love you too” I told him hugging him.
We’ve been together for seven years now as boyfriend and girlfriend. I am 24 this year and he turned 22 a while back and we both very happy.
However our family still doesn’t know about us, but we are hoping to tell them when the time is right.
Though and I and him know that they won’t ever be the right time and that they will totally disagree with us, we decide we still want to be together because we love each other.

My friends know about him and some of his friends know that he been dating his cousin just recently.
And one of my friends and his knew that I was pregnant a few weeks back too, but sadly due to our circumstances and because my job didn’t pay well and due to paying for my mother debts. Along with him just finishing University we had no choice to terminate my pregnancy.
We both wanted to keep our baby. I wanted too he wanted too, but with things now. We didn’t want to bring the baby up in a heap of mess.
Before people say anymore we had no choice and believe me we both regret it, but we don’t regret conceiving him.
If we were under different circumstances like we both had a place to live and the money and job, we would have kept him in a heartbeat. Hell we even named him and I am so sure he would have been a baby boy. We had for while now have named all our children.
 I do carry my scans with me everywhere now and will always from the very day I had my termination.

You could say me and his life almost like a very long soap opera, because over the years we had to keep us a secret. We’ve had deaths and people diagnosed with cancer, Trouble with mothers, money troubles.  
Over the seven years together we have grown closer.
We both know each other so well that sometimes, we can telepathically do the same things, even think the something’s too at the sometime.

It almost like we were meant to be together, other people could properly see we were more than cousin through our eyes too.
 And even though we have had three years apart, with the odd holidays together. The spark most couples seem to lose after a while was well and truly still burning for us.

We have been apart for long times too and people say a long distance relationship doesn’t work. Well me and him are in love, we are also cousin and been apart for most of the three years he been in university but it worked out for us.
Because we both worked hard at us, at our relationship, we made it work by email, Msn and in holiday we would visit each other.
But when we were apart I missed him so much, even now when he only a 20 minute ride away from me I miss him. 

I believe we are meant to be because of these connections and because we been through so much together. And we are still are going strong and I hope it stays this way.
I hope the spark with us will never die away.

I really do truly love my cousin so very much. There is no guy in the whole world, which makes me feel the way he makes me.
He is like the light at the end of a dark tunnel, road or hallway for me.
Whenever I see him, whenever I am with him, in his arms or just by him I feel like the happiest woman in the world.

The only time I am ever happy is when I was with him.
I always tell him that like the grease songs I am hopelessly devoted to him and he the one that I want.
I really am and he is.

I want to be his wife I want to have babies with him. I want to grow old with him. And I hope to die lying in his arms happily.
He is my one true love and only, he my soul mate and best friend.

He was my first kiss and love and I hope he will be my lasts too. So what if people think it morally wrong, it not by complete blood. I don’t regret a thing, I am so happy he told me his feeling, if not then I wouldn’t be happy now.
He makes me happy and if I ever lost him I would never live the day through. I am more than glad I have him in my life as something more now.

I love him so much and I know he feel the same way for me and I hope we will eventually have the furture we both want soon. I hope unlike most soap opera it will end in happiness not Disaster .

Been in love with with my cousin maybe morally wrong, But It really doesn't mater to me, me and him are in love and that all that matters as long as me and him have the same feelings everything is worth waiting for. Me and my cousin furture together is worth the wait.. That what I think love is!

In his own short words: He write these to me when I asked if he wanted to say anything. 
After spending so many years together it took, 9 years after meeting her to tell her that I love her...
I loved her all my life, but I didn’t know what to say...
What would a person say in this situation?
The time we spent together as children are the best moment in my childhood.
Keeping my feeling of her almost a decade into the future...
But it the best decision I’ve ever made in my Life
CagallinaRosetteZala CagallinaRosetteZala
22-25, F
6 Responses Jul 9, 2010

(CagallinaRosetteZala) Through Reading Your Story Ive Learnt Alot New Things And I Hope These Things Get Better For Me Aswell.. Anyways Best Of Luck To Both Of You! :)

Hey, well I'm just 16 i don't know much about love obviously, I am so bad at expressing myself.... But I read your story and that's exactly how I feel,. I don't see myself with another guy, only one guy and it's my cousin :(....We haven't gotten sexual.. but he tells me he loves me but I am very confuse because I don't know if i should believe him, I have my doubts because him and I are not that close, he says that he really like me and I'm the only girl for him but when he is around my brother he checks out other girls and all this stuff that messes with my head...No one knows about my feelings I don't have any friend that I can trust with either that or personal things!! And I don't know..your story makes me think and hope that maybe I could actually be with him......

Thankyou very much eguzman1994, I really hope things will get better for us soon.

I kinda had a similar story when i was 15 and i know that you are serious when you say that you love him. I wish you the best of luck for the two of you (:

Thank you very much Heartbeat213, it nice to know there people rooting for me and my boyfriend even if he is my cousin.

I belive you when you said he is your soul mate from the way you described your feelings toward eachother and the the way you described the way you act around eachother I belive that's love! Good luck!