I Feel Love For My Cousin

This was very exciting but once i think about it i feel kinda disappointed and accomplished. Well heres my story....

Well one day i visited my cousin about a few blocks away. She is 13 and i am 15. My cousin showed dislike in me everytime i went but sometimes i see her staring at me which got me a little. While i was there i was just laying on the couch with my eyes closed for about 1 minute. Then i turned my head sideways and saw her a few feet away looking at me. She quickly looked and walked away as if her mom called her and i saw her face turn red a little.

2 days later, im back but without my parents because my aunt asked me to babysit her and her little brother who is 4. This time i ran upstairs to use the bathroom then BAM! ran into my cousin. We were still on the staircase and she slipped a little where her legs spread apart around my theighs nearly touching my "thing". She said "ouch" and i backed up a little and she slid down a little again and was in more pain. I said sorry again feeling stupid, usually she would go at my but she said "sorry it was my fault" then i helped her up and we walked opposite ways.

1 week later, again im at her house with my parents and i just stay downstairs on the couch. She walks by in shorts that she "usually" wears to sleep that were 4 inches long and a topĀ  with thin straps. She "accidently" dropped her pencil (bs she never does homework over the weekend) with her butt towards me. I swiftly look left where the tv is to seem casual. I could tell this was intentional because she walked away glancing at me.

About 20 minutes later i go upstairs because i get a weird urge to peek at what she is doing. I quietly walk towards her door and slowly crack it open enough to see inside. She wasn't there so i turned around and bump into her. She said "what are you doing" with a long emphasis on doing. I said your mom told me to check up on you (i was thinking damn what a bs lie). This was probably the first time i've seen her smile at me and said ok ill go see what she asked why. I quickly said no as if it was a big secret and said she "why not?". I said "well theres no reason to now...." then i just headed for the stairs. She stepped in front of me and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed a little feeling red on my face and said "what was that for?" She responded "i don't know we're family we're suppose to love each other". She moved in again this time my lips. I stood there frozen so shocked i didn't know how to react. Lasted about 5 seconds until i heard someone walking up the stairs. I went in the bathroom and locked the door.

Next day guess who called me. My mom told me around 2pm that my cousin was "bored" and needed someone to play with. That word hit me like one of my moms slaps when smart talk. I went over and nobody was home. I was thinking wow this might get interesting. She said "im really boreddddd", and i said what do you want me to do? But right before i finished my sentence she pulled me towards her and kissed me again! I thought this was just so wrong but she kept pulling me in when i tried to back off. I don't know what keptĀ  me kissing. She wasn't expecting what was coming next, i pushed her against the couch and grabbed her sweatpants and yanked them off. Left were her panties. I justed ripped them and began rubbing her p****. She moaned pretty loud and luckiy nobody was in but her little brother. I stopped and pulled of my d*** and shoved it in her face. I thrusted my d*** in her mouth and she began gagging and she pulled it out. She said to me " im not ready for this and put her sweatpants back on. After this i felt reall guilty and like a rapist. Zipped my pants up and she just walked away.

From this day on the usual behavior from her continued but from time to time she gives me little smiles while we see eachother alone and "accidently dropps things". I think "oh man she doesn't want her a** torn up but she still teases me???" I get upp and slapp her p**** and she yells and tells her mom i hit her because she was trying to change the channel. My mom slaps me and she giggles.

Haven't seen her in about 1 and a half month and when i seen her today, now and suddenly i feel like i love her. Is this wrong or what? It doesn't seem wrong but when i was in that moment it did.
crazed135 crazed135
18-21, M
Feb 15, 2011