We Fell Over The Edge 5.....The Pics, The Pics, The Pics. This is where I was sure we were behaving beyond normal cousin capacity. Each pic of him showed a little more, and each pic of myself showed a little more. The questions started getting more personal; what we find attractive in others, what we don't. How we like to be touched, how we don't. It was out of control, that is was what made it so exciting. I was carrying on like a teenager. Did we discuss the ramifications? No at that time there were really none. We lived thousands of miles away from each other, of course I had yet to meet my new family, but was absolutely sure I wasn't going in with any intension to have a sexual relationship with my cousin, or was I?
The conversations kept escalating, the excitement kept escalating, and out of the blue I decided I was going to meet the majority of the family. My cousin did not live where I was going, but it was for the most part it was about half the distance in between the two of us. I didn't invite him to meet me, but I sure wanted him to volunteer. He did, he said he wouldn't miss it for the world. I had just decided to hop on a plane by myself, to go meet perfect strangers, and to go meet my best new cousin. What the hell am I doing? I could not wait to wrap my arms around him. I could not wait to enjoy him completely. But how? How are we going to make this work? He himself hadn't seen most of the family in close to ten years. They are going to be all over us. Will they know when they see us together? Can we play this off? Will we be able to get away long enough for just a kiss? For two weeks, my mind was racing, my hormones as well, the anticipation was killing me. Is he going to like me? Am I pretty enough? Can I do this? What the hell am I doing? What the hell were we doing? Maybe I shouldn't go. Finally the day arrived, I didn't get any sleep. I had to be at the airport early in the morning, I had to pretty myself up, I had to be at my best. It was only a three hour flight, but that three hours felt like three days.
When I got there, some other female cousins were there to meet me; needless to say, there was a whole lotta crying going on. I was elated to look into faces that looked like mine for the first time ever. I could finally relate to where I came from, to being black. It was one of the best days of my life.
When we loaded up, my female cousin said," you will never guess who is at the house waiting to meet you". I said," who," but I knew who. My heart was jumping out of my throat. He was there, He was waiting, he was waiting for me.