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I Dont Want You..... I Want My Heart Back.....

i love him so much.he is the my first thought in the morning and the last thing on my mind before i go to sleep.i joined this community with a hope that he is in this and would read my story.
      i'm 19 and i'm a girl.it has been two years that i realized my love for him.he is 7 years elder to me.this doesn't bother our parents or our community.but this is bothering me.he is a way matured and i'm still a teenager.he wouldn't think like me.he would be busy in his job,his dreams and goals.i'm just a teenager and so i'm rather interested in this love thing than in my carrier.
        coming to our story,nothing dramatic.i just fell for his personality.we are not so attached.he is  a kinda reserved.so i don't dare to confront him.we don't live together.but whenever i see him in family meetings or functions,i have that scary feeling.i cant help, but, send signals of crush unknowingly.i try a lot but i just cant control my mind.
         and very few times (twice or thrice) i felt like my feelings are reciprocated.i don't even know his feelings.i always feel like telling him but could never dare to do so.if he rejects me ?we are cousins after all and will be confronting each other throughout the life.i just want to know his feeling for me. can any one help ?
ggutnn ggutnn 18-21 3 Responses Jun 21, 2012

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I am also in that situation more or less. since i can't afford to go on being lonely that i've decided to move on through small ways i.e. focusing on more productive activities. It's hard? absolutely YES but there's some improvements that helps me feel better little by little.

Am in a position like urs,i mean age difference and all.We'll figure something out.Keep me posted.All the best

as in age, then age doesn't really matter, unless you make it matter, at the end of the day age is just a number is the way you should look at it.<br />
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as for fear of rejection, don't think too much about it, as if you do, then you will start shaking, and that will instantly trigger him into defensive mode, and he will reject you,<br />
but not as in the fact of wanting to reject you, but as in she is scared of what I am going to reply.<br />
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just invite him to go out with you as family kind of way, and go with the flow, rather than trying to rush into something. don't make it out to be an instant lets get together thing.<br />
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show you are interested in that way, but not so much that it will push him away. love in families is hard enough as it is, try not to make it any harder.<br />
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as for fear of rejection, then try not to think about it, as it will eat at you, and interefere with you're friendship/more.<br />
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the only way to really find out how he feels is spending time with him. and maybe dropping hints here, and there, so that maybe he will get the message that you are interested in him.