Forbidden

 I recently went back to my country of birth after 14 years. I met a lot of family members that i didn't know or simply didn't remember. Though we grew up together till the age of 6, i didn't have any clear memories of my cousin Alex. I was actually intimidated by him the first time i saw him because i had an immediate attraction towards him. 

My family is very close and we are all very affectionate, but i felt as if he was more affectionate with me than anyone else. The way he looked at me was also different. well..to get to the point.....We all went out to the club for new years. It was a big group so we had to go in separate taxis to get there and we some how ended up alone for a few min waiting for a taxi to come by. and thats pretty much when i knew that we both had something for each other. We didn't say anything, we didn't have to..we just stood there hugging each other for a very long time. 

We danced but didn't really say much in the club, it wasn't till after we had had a couple of drinks and it was time to go home that we kissed. He held on to my hand, hugged me, kissed me on my cheek and then we just met in the middle and kissed. I honestly don't know how it happened, but it did. It just did. 

After that we spent every minute of the day together. We talked about what our family would do if they ever found out, or what explanation we would give them...We both feel bad about it bc we don't want to disappoint anyone in our family, but we honestly couldn't help it. We were strangers to each other. Our goodbye was pretty emotional and sad. We couldn't let go of each other. 

I've been back in the states for about a month now, and i honestly didn't think i was going to miss him as much as i do. We call each other all the time, sometimes its hard to hang up. We just wish we weren't cousins because it makes "us" impossible. 

superlucky superlucky
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 9, 2009

i useto call my cusin all the time when she lived in another state too and when she moved down here for good i spent all my time with her. were married and happy and our friends and family are happy for us

That is the start of a very complicated love story. I truly hope it has a happy ending. Falling in love can be wondereful, but very confusing when you immediately face obstacles that could keep you apart. So wonderful and so hurtful all at the same time.