Me and my family decided to go to NY to visit family we had not seen in a long time. The cousin that use to tell me he was madly in love with me lives there.
My cousin and I have a connection. He was born on the same day, same year, same hospital, same time, in a room next to where I was. We consider ourselves twin cousins. I love him, but I was always too chicken to accept him.
I always told him to stop telling me he was in love with me because it was wrong and he needed to find someone who was not me.
He did...
And I am....
They moved in together and he presented her to us as his wife.
I have no problem with her. She is a very nice girl and I got along with her great. It's his attitude towards me now that is killing me.
He basically ignored me the whole time I was there. He didn't even make eye contact with me and when I tried having a conversation with him he would respond with one word answers.
I don't get it! What did I do wrong???
When we arrived at his house he was downstairs and he hugged me and we stayed like that for like 20 seconds. The family was there, but they didn't seem to care. We went inside and we all talked and laughed for a while.
My uncle wanted me to get a bag from his car and I asked him to come with me and he did. I expected a great conversation but nothing came out of his mouth. All that happened was I asked and he answered. It was so weird. I was about to ask him what was wrong when we saw our uncle coming to see if we were okay. He immediately started a conversation with my uncle. They talked and talked and completely ignored me. I was really upset.
He talked and joked around with the whole family except me.
I was hurt and still am.
The next day he went to work and we went to Liberty Park. He kept calling his girlfriend to ask what we were doing and it made me jealous.
When we got back to their place we only stayed a few hours because we had to head back home. He still didn't talk to
me. When it was time to go, he was holding the door. I stopped in front of it, kisses him on the cheek, hugged him and said take care. He said you too... That was it. I felt like crying.
He use to tell me I was the love of his life and now I am nothing. Just a cousin. :(
What should I do. Should I call him and ask him what's wrong? Or is it already Clear?
LightUpMyWorld LightUpMyWorld
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Well I have been in the same situation I recently got so tired of her lies and cowardice I confronted her who said the same as you 'I'm not interested find someone else' this is after half a life time if her sneakin into my bed saying ****** up things also we had a relationship. She backed out like you vid she's afraid and always with this concern for other peoples (strangers) opinions. I was so hurt next time I saw her I didn't hug, speak or even look at her I said one word when I looked up at her which was cousin and then left the house.
I can tell you for sure he is very hurt and very angry. He may never trust you again. But look for everyone you meet you will have to give an take in a cousin relationship be prepared for all the **** that comes with it, otherwise don't waste his time. Now you know how you feel would you ever deny him again? It's a tough decision but it seems you hav your answer now how will you act? I wish you all the luck I hope all cuzs in love work it out! X

I understand so much now. I can't wait for Sep. 5th, since I'm gonna see him again. I love this man and I regret being such a coward. You must have been really upset with your cousin, but you made the right decision. She must regret it now. Thanks for your time and your input, it was really helpful! Btw, have you seen her since?

Well we had a big fight when I confronted her she set it up for me to see a guy leaving her house we argued and I left the next day was march and I saw her just a about 2 or 3 weeks ago she visited us with her family I only said hi to her dad.
I didn't look at her at all when I walked into the room. Only for 2 seconds as I said 'cousin' cos of all the hurtful things she just screamed at me. Anyway I left and they left like 30 seconds after me? I forgot my keys so as I wa driving bak up the road I saw her sneak a look as she drive by?
By the way I'm here to talk or help if I can.
But can I please ask, what if anything could get her attention or make her face why she acted in such a way if she didn't care? Can you give me any insight into how she MIT be thinking? Please? But if it's too much I understand but as you can see from my story, I am at a but if a loss? But good luck he's damn lucky if you've realised? Will you tell him you still care? Sorry if I'm being nosy, I just hope it works for u! ;)

Date someone else and make sure she finds out! That's what it took for me to realize how much I loved him. He was no longer begging me and he distanced himself so that made him desirable. You already poured your heart to her and since that didn't work you have to play hard to get. Hope this helps and it know it hurts but be strong! I definitely will let him know I still care and if this works I will help you through your experience ok?

Thanks and yes please!
I'm kinda sad that's what it will take and don't want I use anybody to get to her? But I guess all is fair in love and war? But anyway yes let him know but don't if in a few months your just gonna get scared and leave him, it's one thing being confident now and your voice will shake when you defend yourself in public, but that's real test, I personally would say do what makes you happy if people can't see that they don't care about your happiness only about conformity!? Good luck!

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There could easily be latent feelings on his part, kind of the same as he tried to express in an earlier time. However, he's afraid to express those feelings so he holds back. It would be interesting to see if something would happen if you were close, as before. Interesting.

I asked him and he denies acting weird around me. I'm not sure how to go back to how things were :(

Well love, things may never get back "to where they were". Did they ever really start? You have feelings, and it sounds like he does, but won't admit or pursue them. It could be a little dangerous, but if you get alone together, remind him how you feel and tell him you wish things could be closer discreetly. It all depends on how strongly you feel. All the best.

Thank you. We are going to visit them again on the first week of September. I'm gonna follow your advice! I'll let you know how it goes!! I love him and always have, but I was always the one who was afraid... But I'm not anymore.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you. All the best and I hope it works out for you.

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