True Love

I married my first cousin once removed. I fell deeply in love with him when I was 12 years old and he was 16.  We had a relationship and  a child out of wedlock in 1981. We both married other people, then divorced and rekindled our relationship over a decade later. We were married in 1990. We now have 2 beautiful completely healthy children and 3 wonderful grandchildren.  I love him now more than ever. I never think about him being my cousin until some horrible remark is made by friends or family members. He is my husband, we have a wonderful relationship and are best friends also. It really hurts when people close to us say something degrading about our relationship. I have never felt like I was doing anything wrong.  We have watched many of our friends go through separation and divorce. I have no doubt that we will be separated only by death. We have been married for almost 19 years and have never been unfaithful to one another. I still get butterflies when he walks into the room. I dont think it would be possible to have a more loving relationship. Cousins are cousins, but soulmates are rare and precious and he is mine.

beckynweasel beckynweasel
41-45
8 Responses Mar 15, 2009

I'm pregnant by my first cousin once removed am scared I might have a deformed baby.

My grandmother had several children by several men, my father was the first born from my grandmother. My grandmother soon left my father's father and had more children with other men, my half aunt was born years later. Soon my half aunt had her children, then years her grand children were born as well. I was after all my half cousin were born.

Years pass now am 23 years old and I meet my spouse, I never seen him in my life. but when we met we feel in love so much in common and etc. Some how we shared stories about our relatives and we find out we are cousins. We never spoke about it again since that day. Its two years later now am pregnant scared to have a baby by him. I'm scared my baby will come out with health issues. Is this something I should be worried about? I wish I could see your children's pictures.

I'm also in love with my first cousin once removed. I met him when I was 16 whilst on holiday. We were inseparable until the day I returned home. We live on opposite sides of the globe, but managed to talk every day for a year until he came over to visit for a month. It was as though we'd never been away from each other. I managed to last three days before giving in and risking our friendship by kissing him. I was so scared he wouldn't love me back and losing my best friend, but he did and I've never been so happy in my life! He had to go home, and we won't see each other again until the end of the year, but we are staying together because we love each other too much to try living without each other. His mother knows and is accepting of us, but I know my family are going to hate us. Not only because of the whole related thing (although we never think of each other as cousins) but also because there is a 5 year age gap. I'm so happy things worked out for you, I just hope my situation will turn out as good! Any tips on how to handle the judgement and negative comments we're going to receive from my parents?

I am in the same situation. I recently discovered that my first cousin once removed has fallen for me. He is a wonderful man and we have so much in common and I can't deny that I am attracted to him. We didn't grow up around each other and I knew nothing about him. We never met until last year. I don't really look at him as a relative because of not knowing him all though I know he is. I worry about what people will say. What to do?

my story isent similar at all because my doesnt have a happy ending, i was 10? and him 17, i fell basically for words,, he promised me things at that moment i wanted to hear my parents would constantly fight my dad fought with my mom and hit her i was paranoid i just needed love,, he was my first and i knew something was weird and wrong but he promised a future and talked bout kids i thought maybe this isnt that bad at times i didnt want to have anything with him i rreally always did it to make happy i knew he lied bou many things i was so dumb and stupid he was older then me and had a car of course he had other girls and as i grew older i didnt want to do it with him but he manipulated me when all this finally eneded our "relation" i was probsbly already 13. I hated him and till this day i will always because he made me believe in lies and he never apolagized for so many things he did behind my back and all the lies i know i couldve said no but i was young and he was way older i mean he knew wat he was doing to me, i regret him and what really killed me was when i moved from were i was in miami to another county the last itme i was with him it was when i was probably gonna move he wanted to so i did it so he wont stop talking to me i guess dats why,, but i thought i was pregnant i missed my period for two months he was so scared and i wasnt feelin good i threw up alot and everything fever all that, he bailed he told me he was goin on a car trip with people and his phone was going to be with his friend he was already 21 by this time or 20 i got a message saying "jus dont call me or text , im leavin my phone with bla bla person" i blowed up his phone and by someone i found out he did have his phone he ignore me FOREVER n he never asked he acgted stupid, and since i didnt go over there no more he didnt know what happened so i just kept my distance from then, i finally one time went n i spoke to my cousin that i had to go to the hospital emergency and he didnt know why though i didnt ssy aloud it turned out i had a virus,, iad bronchitis thats why i felt like that but he never knew why and till this day he never will he was too scared to ask and he once apolagized to me in TEXT for everything he had done thing is he never did it in my face, i know i shouldnt act like its a big deal but it hurts that everything he did to me and made me believe i was ASHAMED OF IT N after ihad another bf that really LOVED him i never did nothing with him we lasted years i just didnt want to, his name was Jonathan, he made me feel like a person that was used and never really cared for, he now has a wife no kids but married im doing fine i got a bf we're good im 18 now but it hurts the fact hes so happy and never talks abou it i talked to him once about it n i asked him did he just use me or at what point he did love me,, he just said i was young n stupid,, he started going to church n tried to act like my COUSIN THat loved me but really i couldnt go with it i recently had a fight with him something of family n i just dont care bout him i can careless if he talks to me again because he will never knw how he messed up my head emotionally, he never did care i remmeber one time wheni was already over with him for months n started with sum1 else i called him another guys name while having intimacy all he did was smile n didnt care right there i shouldve known he obviously didnt care bout feeling jus lust. iknow i shouldnt right this hee i just really neded to let this out somewere,, and yea noone knows this only my real bestfriend n well my cousin his sister but she never realy said anything. -AnOnIMoUS""

I love my cousin sometimes i feel like she loves me to but i dont know and im afraid to confess my love to her..

I think we always had a connection, he knew and I knew but we didnt talk about it-One day we just were talking and we finally decided that we should be together for good-there are happy endings-I hope you find yours!

Many, many congratulations to you and to your husband!! Your story is definitely an inspiration to people like me, who are in love with their cousin, but have yet to tell them. How did you do it? How did you go about starting a relationship or even letting him know how you felt about him?

Life is seldom simple or tidy as we wish it was. For those who never face life’s challenges, then maybe they are the freaks of society. However as I get older, the less I criticize people because I myself have learned that you can only hope to plan your future, but the reality is, we always have to make adjustments to our plans. Sometimes we just have to scrub the whole plan and do it off the seat of our pants.<br />
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So I say whatever. We all have something someone can say about us. Mine is my wife. She is not the same race as me, but whatever. We been married for over 17 years. How many can say that. <br />
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So just try not to dwell on the joking and pointing. What only matters is your house is a happy home.