Falling In Love With My First Cousin

My cousin and I met when I was 16 and he was 19. At the time I was vey shy and didn't speak a lot so we didn't get a chance to get to know each other -I just knew him as another relative.  All that changed when I graduated high school and started working in the family business. He would go every so often to see this girl he liked at the time and when she wasn't there, he and I would chat, uneasily at first but quickly gaining more confidence in each other. I got into my first serious relationship and when I broke up with my boyfriend, I turned to my cousin for advice and such and we started talking even more. He also got into a really serious relationship with a younger girl and they were going to elope but her personality and his started to clash and eventually they broke up. He was very upset and by this point I already had strong feelings toward him so I was there to help him like he helped me cope. In 2007, I went to his place for his birthday and brought him a gift. We were watching a movie and then all of a sudden he leaned in and gave me a kiss. I was confused for like two seconds but then I kissed him back. Since day one I knew our relationship was not meant to be and told him so, but he always replies the same thing -that he knows it but he can't help but love me. I've tried unsuccessfully to break up with him countless times but his patiences perseveres and I always end up with him again. In Christmas of 2008 ,we had intimate relations for the first time and two months ago ,we finally went all the way. Now I know I will love him forever and cannot get him out of my mind but I'm scared of my family. My dad has always suspected and he doesn't approve of him and me even hanging out together. I don't know what to do, he has asked me to marry him but I always dreamed of getting married in church and the catholic church doesn't allow marriage between first cousins. All I know for sure is that I love him deeply and he loves me deeply too. Why can't it be as easy and simple as that?

graciev graciev
73 Responses Jun 25, 2009

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I met my first cousin when I was 14 he was 24 I had went to Cali to stay with my aunt for a month, he and I had talked for a few months before I went to Cali and we seemed to instantly connect and then I went out there and he was there when we pulled into the drive way and right away I melted I knew with all my heart that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. After two days I made an advance on him and kissed him, he was confused but also turned on. After my month there and several fun (not sexual) activities later it was time for me to return home where we stayed in touch but i had a few bfs and he stayed single and worked till a few months later when he and his mom moved to my state and then we started doing everything together. At 15 I confessed my love for him and told him I wanted a future with him, he was hesitant at first because he always wanted kids but I was able to reassure him of the facts and myths of first cousins having kids with issues. After a few months of him hooking up with a few women and me having a few bfs I turned 16 and on July 4th 2005 we was alone on the front porch while the parents stayed inside, we had a deep and passionate talk about what we wanted and that was for us to be together forever we made a promise and commitment to each other to only see each other till I turned 18 and we could be together. Of course we had to hide our love and "relationship" from EVERYONE not only because we are cousins but because of age, but as soon as I turned 18 I told my family I was going to Cali to see my sister and ended up going on the road with my cousin (he was a trucker). As soon as we was away from all family and found a state where it was legal we got married. A month after that I was pregnant, I returned home when I was 4 mo pregnant and told my family, my oldest cousin disowned me and everyone was upset and disappointed but we did not care because we had each other and our unborn son and that's all we needed. Now its 2015 my cousin still has disowned me (but IDC) and my family is completely ok with us even our friends are ok with it. We now have three wonderful healthy intelligent children and love each other just as much today as we did the day we met. If we had cared about what the family would say or think we would never be where we are now. I believe when u find ur soul mate then go for it, its your life you are the one who lives it not anyone else, u can not tell your heart who to love and neither can anyone else. My advice is to keep things secret and hidden till ur 18 and have ur own place then tell your family, if they don't agree or won't talk to you anymore then they are being selfish and will miss out on their loved one being happy. Don't miss out on true love out of fear of what family might think. Maybe sit down and print out some facts and stuff about cousins falling in love, getting married and having children. A lot of time family is scared u won't be able to have "normal" kids others are selfish and scared of what THIER friends and other family might say or think. Follow ur heart be with your soul mate don't let other live ur life for you!

i envy you so much so so so much i told my cousin how i felt about her and she stopped talking to me she lives so far away now and i can't see her anymore its been 5 months now and i can't even stand it anymore and i don't know what to do now i text her she doesn't reply she won't answer to any of my calls or messages i have heard from her brother that before i told her how i felt she knew weeks ago and she said while she was with my other cousin that she was going to make me believe that she loves me back and i was gonna regret it with a smiley face ...how could she do that i mean i knew her very well she wasn't evil!!I just feel like life is useless i just hate everyone

I know how you feel, I'm in love with my cousin who I'm afraid to tell cause I believe she will hate me forever and on top of that she cheats on her husband, and all I can do is watch and it hurts me so bad cause I never thought she would be a cheater, I love her so much my heart stops when she goes out to mess with that piece of ****, I'm in love with a ***** and I can't tell her. I hope you find someone deserving of your love. God bless

I am currently stuck in the same situation. I don't think falling for your cousin is wrong or anything that you should be ashamed of. If you're sure about your feelings, don't be ashamed to express them. When two people love each other truly, then there shouldn't be any boundaries.

I know how you feel. I was 14 yrs old since I met my first cousin, she was 14 as well. But when I met her I don't even like her or even love, just normal cousin. Since we came to US, we need to live to my cousin at LA and wait for my mom to get a job. My cousin and I get along since we live together and go to the same school, the funny thing is that I always butch at her cuz she doesn't get mad easily. However, I need to transfer school cuz of my mom's job. We went to our family at Christmas eve to have a family reunion. So we slept over at our aunt's house and I was sleeping next to my cousin and I was cuddling her. For some reason I started liking her. By the time my feelings is getting stronger and it hurts whenever she left the house. I really miss her when she leaves. I really need help cuz I don't really know what to do I don't want my feelings to get hurt whenever I see her and leave, in other words I just wanna stay with her forever. I was planning of telling her my feelings but I don't k now when. I mean I don't really care of she says no, but the problem is that my feelings is gonna react without even thinking .. I just wanna get rid of her

By the way I'm 16 now and still love her

my ghhaaad ! I can relate to this story .. my ex boyfriend has the same features with my cousin .. i mean, the way he act as a man , physicaly, their age because im 16 and hes 22 ,, ghaad ,First i thought i like my cousin because he has the same aura of my ex boyfriend but as the time passed by ,, my strange feelings for him went deeper .. and i felt that its a mutual too .. ghaad ! im inlove with him .. but how can i ?? how can we do it >? maybe ill just stay away from him .. well,, if it works .. maybe ;)

I completely understand.. I know your post is old but I have a story..

I knew my cousin ever since 2006 she is now 15 almost 16 and I'm 17 almost 18. We liked each other obviously...

We were out of contact for a few years.. She was honestly my best friend..

She recently moved closer to me and it sparked our old flame.

I've been seeing her but we both are very shy. But since she came back we've been talking more and more but we would still be a little awkward talking to each other..

We went to a performance for a birthday because my mate was playing in the band. She came with us so I was a little surprised ...

We didn't talk much on the way to the show that was an hour away. But when my mate left to play. She sat next to me. We started talking about the past.

She brought up old things from the past on how close we were, our funniest moments. Just everything!!!!!

Since then she's been on my mind all day every night.. RIGHT NOW!!!! Then it hit me that I love her.. When she looks at me casually I melt! She is so beautiful....

It was just her and I in the car and we started talking about deep ****... Whenever she was talking I'd just look at her lips and eyes... Wanting to kiss her but I hold back!!!!

Family would definitely disapprove because it's wrong.. I mean Lesbian and liking first cousins....

But I'll be seeing her today for a bbq and I cannot wait..


My dad thinks I like my cousin and I do what should I do

Think twice, and hard think with your mind and not your heart, there is 3 outcomes to this 1, if you tell her/him they might be disgusted by you and you will hate yourself forever
2, you tell him/her and they don't hate you for it and wants to be only your cousin.
3. She/he feels the same and wants to be your lover forever (lucky sumbitch) but then you have to deal with the reaction of the family who in most cases won't like it at all, good luck👍

Did you find anything...i have the exact same thing but except m the guy 'from my story' what's ganna happen ,what should i do? Mine just started

I'm not excuse in this topic because for the longest time I've stayed single, I never thought that my intention of just taking good care of my first cousin would go deeper. We used to be playmates when she was a little girl and i always accompany her everytime we went to school for a little rtw business. but now that she became a lady, there were features of her that has changed and each feature of hers that became my weakness so it became so awkward for me to deal with her just like the way before. I tried to control it by getting anry at her for no reason but as the days pass by, i became tired of running away from this feeling and after I told her about what I feel I got relieved without expecting an answer from her. but I got shocked when she began doing things for me each day that comes and wow! this is what really happiness is all about. Now, that she has finished her college degree and began working, she's now entering into a serious one. better yet, I'm really happy for her despite of the pain of losing.

Hey I feel the same way but actually I'm the boy... my cousin and I see each other like once a month but every time I see her I can't stop looking at her eyes, she always stands up for me when I make a joke about my weight.
When we're sitting next to each other our legs toutch and we leen against eachother. Last time in the car she fell asleep with my arm around her... I can't get her out of my head but I don't know if she loves me... how can I find out😳 plz help

im in the same 100% same position i love her i think about her alllll the time but i dnt wanna sound weird and say hey cousin i love u but how would she act

Me and my cousin are in love too. And we both also know that our relationship was not meant to be but we love each other so much that we can't control it. My family and hers are so close, we hang out so often, and everytime she comes to our house we both try to act normal, like there's nothing between us but we always end up kissing and huging each other so hard and even crying about the fact that i'ts not gonna work. I don't know what to do... God I miss her so much it hurts...

I am in the same situation..I love my cousin daughter..I started liking her from more than three yrs..we ofen met..I get to see her daily, and couldnt stop myself to see her..she is also in love with me a lot somehow her family members have doubt so she just keep distance from me when I am there..but inside her hrt she love me and angry on her family member, when we had a get together her dad and other member just keep a soft watch on us..when we talking or playing together..I just found it so hard to meet her, talk to her. I cant even hug her, I truly in love with her, and I knw this is not possible..when I see or meet her..My mind just keep thinking about her for a long time..so deeply that..even my head start paining with her thoughts..I cant leave her but the fact of we cant be one is really hard to except..I tried being away from her but we keep chatting very rare on mob..so I cant able to keep myself away from her for longer time..my health has gone so down bcoz of I keep thinking about her..I dont know when I and her started liking and fallen for each other..she has become everything for me and its unable to forget her at anycost..my love for her is so deep and true and I cant sleep, eat, concentrate on daily work..we can hang up together bcoz of her family member. I cant live without her, and impossible to forget her..I know this will end up nowhere..but cant help it..my hrt doesnt understand the reality but to love her..my day to day life has just become..so hard without her. I just feel dying when I couldnt see her or meet. its so hard to sustain without her..

completely understand you,, i felt in love with my cousin at a young age, he was my first love and first time and even though we both had chosen different paths, 7 years later he came back into my life and I realized how much I love him and how happy he makes me. This is already causing problems in the family & idk what to do anymore but stay strong, fight for your love because your parents will always be your parents!!!

Well my love story isn't the common love story mines not the happy ending mines more of an unusual love story not everyone would have it. Everyone in their lives have a miracle maybe it's that your rich maybe that you win lottery but I'm not that lucky my miracle is more epic more beast you know. Well my love story started with my cousin he was 3 years older than me. I am in love with him I mean it's wrong because he's my first cousin and we knew each other since I was born we grew up together and when I was like 7 that's when I found out that I liked him it wasn't that serious of a thing I mean I thought he was the hottest thing I had ever seen but I never took nothing serious.But as the years came by and time passed I could see that we were starting to have serious feeling about each other and then one day me and he's sister and cousin too had a sleep over he was there she fell asleep but he didn't so we were in he's room with the dog pelusa and our hands just got together it was as if something was making our hands get together well that was all we did then me and my cousin had another sleep over and I went to he's room and we cuddle that kept happening over the days and it just felt so right, it felt so good it didn't feel like he was my cousin we are so comfortable when we're together he's like my best friend and these days when we text we say I love you and I miss you and I wish I was with you and I wanna hold you and I mean when our parents aren't watching we cuddle and I knew it wasn't right but I was in love with him I loved him, days went by and that was all we did then he had to leave to Mexico for a few months I really didn't want him to go but he had to during those days we went to valley fair it was so much fun, me and him went on all the rides and we had so much fun we were on our way back and we were holding hands then he turned around we looked at eachother then he hugged me and then our faces touched and then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and slowly our lips touched and we made out for like 30 minutes and we kept doing it every time we could the last day he was here was amazing we went upstairs we started kissing and then he was sitting down then he moved and pushed me towards the couch we started kissing with a lot of passion and then we went down stairs and we were behind the van he lifted me up and kissed me the was the last time we saw each other October 31 2014, we started having a long distance relationship it was really hard it just didn't feel like we were dating he hugged a couple girls and did some stuff I kissed someone and hugged some guys and danced with some but then for some weeks I stopped loving him and I told him I didn't love him anymore and he started crying and saying he wanted me and that just idk I love him a little bit again but that wasn't for very long because then we started fighting and I knew he would hang out and be with other girls and I was right there was this one sluty *** ***** who I hate with all my passion named Vicky when he first got to Mexico he went to a quince a party in Mexico people do when girls turn 15 years old he went and he took a picture with her and he told she liked him but he didn't like her but that was all lies big dirty stupid nasty lies that wasn't true he never loved me and I loved him with everything that I had I would of given everything for him why would he do this to me why I don't understand he was my everything I loved him and he just played with me. Days went by fighting the perfect storms I knew and even thoe I wasn't with him I could feel how he was starting to loose any interest in me if he even had any it was horrible it hurt so much I was dying on the inside and like he said "nothing's forever not even ourselves"-the worst person alive but for a couple months I thought maybe he would actually love me forever and he was gonna be there for me till the day I died but nothing's forever right!?! He txt me he was going out I said Ya ok we hadn't said I love you for along time and that time we didn't either he went out came back and said he went with Daniela a pig=fat ugly disgusting and like everything I exploded I mean I couldn't take all his BS forever so I broke up with him it hurt so much I'm dying I swear I can't take it but I don't know wat hurt the most if it was he started dating Vicky by the 3rd day holy ******* **** why, why would he do that to me why I thought he didn't like her.

Sent from my iPhone

are you sure that your relationships are over?

love is love it does not see any relation,person,religion it is meant to bring all peoples together for a time known as forever .keep on loving it is a great blessing of god ,in fact people who fall in love are the most lucky person in the universe but love truly, love from heart not from body love to make thing good then better and then best not to make them worse. love to know the meaning of life, not the body of your wife. love every thing and definitely one day you will be together for ever ,because god love those persons who had true love and respect towards love forever.really love is the great blessing of god in fact it is god on earth (BUT TRUE LOVE)

Firstly, go to wikipedia. You'll see that on a global scale, first cousin marriage is accepted by the *vast* majority of countries. Even the vast majority of western countries, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the entirety of South America and all but 3 countries in Europe.

You'll see as well that it's accepted in a bunch of states in the US.

That's the first thing to recognise because that's how you stop mistakenly thinking of yourself as someone doing a bad thing. That's how you stop accepting that it's ok for others to see you in that way. There are a few issues to go over on the topic, but that's the big one. It has to change in your mind from feeling like you're hiding a bad thing, to knowing that you're not. You're just doing something that people lose their minds over easily, without bothering with facts, because it became a social taboo. It's easier for the mob to agree with the mob.

The recent reply from anh1993 shows how the taboo factor is the worst part. She felt guilty for her *family's* pain. She lost a long term relationship, but it's their pain she has to feel guilt for. She's been made to believe that she was the one hurting people. It's ridiculous. She was the one in pain; no-one else had something to lose like she did. But people found it ok to tell her she was a bad person hurting others, because the taboo status makes people lose all ability to think about it properly.

As for the genetics, again, check the numbers and you'll see why it's legal in nearly every other western country.

But the recognition of yourself and your feelings as good things, to be embraced and welcomed, is the most important part. Then you can get on with experiencing the relationship in its own right, instead of as an ongoing inner battle you're both always fighting.

tbh youre sick, everyone on here is sick! theres no such thing as falling in love with your cousin! theyre FAMILY, yous need help asap!!

Well, ignorence is bliss isn't it?

I know.. And cuz of this sick I'm gonna ruin my future life.. This why we are posting this cuz we need help. It's my mind who's telling me this I didn't expect myself to like my cousin, I hate myself cuz of this..

Clearly you wouldnt know how it feels to love someone so deeply that when you cant hug or kiss them whenever you want your heart explodes. We KNOW it's not right, but we can't help it. If there is no such thing as falling in love with your cousins, then why would all be here? We didn't choose it and we can't help it.
We just can't stop. Its like taking oxygen away from our lungs.

My family recently found out, and we had to break up. I am 22 and he is 24. It would have been our 5 year anniversary. Even though it hurts me and I cry every night, I can't help but feel guilt because well, we both don't want to put our families through the pain. At the same time, it's not fair. I don't know how I'm ever going move on....

I truly understand, and if god put you two together then God Bless you both, No one is in the position to judge. You can't help how the heart feels.

you can help how the heart feels & not feel that ****, its damn twisted!

It's hard because, like gay relationship or transexual people, it's something rather new. It has been accepted recently (I mean less than one century). Since it is new, people need time to accept it ! Just like women's rights or other religions (by "other" I mean not catholic, I'm not saying catholicism is the best or main religion, I'm atheist). I understand you, I'm currently in a relationship with my first cousin. The main problem is the family. For the moment we didn't told them, we wanna wait my 18th birthday so I can legally leave my family if it turns bad, and um.. disappear for a little time, for them to accept us. Because they'll have to do it. For marriage at Church, it depends on your religion, some allow marriage between cousins, some don't, and it's always a bit complicated. Totally support you, love know absolutely no limits. AND to people saying "it's bad", "it's unnatural", "it's ******" (no it isn't), "but it's your cousin !!" well, who the hell are you to imagine you can tell people who to love ? xx

the censured word is the word for sexual relationship between people from the same family

Exactly.Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect


I face the same problem lets sya im thirteen i love my cousin and i mean love her but she is 23 and we are cousins we talk n all but cousin and 10 year difference what do i do. I want to marry her when im older i really do i love her so much i cant get her ioutta my head i love her more than myself

The more young you are, the more complicated it is ! My bf is also my cousin and he's 26. I'm 16. It depends on the person but I wanted to wait to tell him my feeling. I fell in love with him when I was 14,5 but I stopped myself to tell him, and I waited, and it worked ! Now he are very happy together (we didn't tell our families yet). But since you are younger, it's more complicated. If I can give you a piece of advice, I'd say speak to her (don't tell her you love her), get closer to her ! But I don't wanna be pessimistic, but I'd say wait. It could work, but it's harder for the older person to hang out with the younger. Really hope you'll end up happy together xx

I'm also in love with my cousin..nw i'm 20, he is 4yrs elder than me..nw he is 24..since 4 yrs we r in relation..no one knows about our relation..in these years we r involved a hundreds of time..we lived together about 2 yrs..i like to marry him, i can't live without him..bt i knw it's nt possible bcoz he is my cousin(brother)..dnt knw wt to do..a lot of confusion..

its all lust honey, the sooner you get over it, the better for you :-)

Me too this is getting harder to breath. I don't know what to. It's really not great keeping this secret. I thought I have psychological problems because of this. It really is hard for me to control my feelings. I'm human after all and not strong enough for this. There are so many things that going through my head right now.

I understand this. I've fallen hard for my cousin! He is 38, I'm 33. Both of us are going through divorces. We both have kids. My two love him to death.
I recently separated from my husband of 13 years, my cousin separated from his wife of 12. Be for all this happened, I was going through a tough time and out of no where, my cousin texted me.
He opened my eyes and he's helped me and my kids a lot in such a short amount of time.
In just a month we have shared so much with each other, we have so much in common!
My side of the family would probably not accept it, while his side might be more open. My mom( his dad's sister) is uber religious.
Him and I are on the same page religion wise. I wished so much we weren't related, I just want to be with him. But I have to hide how I feel , and with my kids as old as they are, the cat is gonna come out of the bag eventually. But, I can't help that I live him!

I hadn't seen him much over the years either, but he admitted to me that he's always had a thing for me. I already know that no matter what happens I will always love him because he is my cousin! I would do anything for him. Family is the most important thing in my life, which is why I'm so conflicted, because I don't know how my side would take it, and I live my mom so much


I've loved my cousin since we were kids. I would always deny my love for him because I always thought it wasn't right to love him. We are family, and society where I live clearly expresses that having a relationship with a family member is a big no. Even with my family, when ****** jokes come up like ****** isn't a big deal, they feel the need to say how much they actually disapprove of it afterwords. They don't know that I love my cousin, but I always feel so guilty about my feelings when they do that.
I am currently 20 while he is 18. The both of us get along so well, our personalities and sense of humor match so perfectly. We are always stuck to each others side whenever we have family parties or he comes down to stay the weekend. His life at home is very stressful, so he visits often. I feel like seeing him so often now doesn't help me at all. My feelings only get stronger and more painful every second we spend together.
I decided to start writing journals to get all of my feelings out and to help me get through this. I finally admitted how much I really love him in them and accepted my feelings. I've been telling myself that it really is okay to love him, but probably not okay to act it out.
Since the two of us are so close, I always tell him everything. All of my problems and opinions. I love talking to him, as he usually helps me sort things out that's going wrong in my life. It's the same for him, talking to me about his problems and pretty much everything else. Sometimes he tells me that I'm the only one he talks to about certain things. We also aren't shy to talk about sexual matters. I've actually been having dreams about him, most of them being sexual. I have told him about them and he tells me that they don't bother him. I felt awkward telling him about them, but every time I started to think that he wasn't okay with it, even when I didn't say anything about doubting him, he would reassure that it's okay. We literally share everything about ourselves with each other. But the only thing I hadn't told him was how much I love him.
About a week ago, I gathered the guts to mention my journals to him. I told him that it had to deal with my dreams about him and how I was having a hard time with them. He didn't know that they were bothering me so badly or the reason why. I wasn't lying when I said that, I just didn't tell him that my journals also included a confession of how much I love him, and the fact that I love him is the reason why these dreams bother me so badly. I was so nervous when I sent them to him. He gave me a few short replies that didn't say anything my confession at first, as if he wasn't acknowledging it. I was trembling by this point because I felt that maybe I must have pushed him away.
Then suddenly, after a bit of silence, he said to me that it was almost as if he was the one who wrote the journals, but for him it would say "her" instead. In my journals, I first started by saying that I love him, then explained how I feel every time I am around him. Anything he does when we're together sends me on a high, like everything in the world is so right. There's nothing he can do or say that will make me think he is strange, considering how offset he is compared to everyone else. I love and adore everything about him. The way he goofs around all the time, the way he laughs, smiles, and makes funny faces. I also love how he will do something random and unexpected that involves him making physical contact, such as touching my face in a manor that is neither normal or romantic in the eyes of other people.
He continued to explain how he felt for me, and being as silly as he is, even related our situation to a new episode of his favorite anime. He used it to explain how badly he really wants to have me, but can't. He also said to me that when we are having huge family parties, I'm the only one he really wants to see. And also when he comes to visit, he can't get over here fast enough because of how exited he is to see me.
After the week passed and have had several visits through out the days because of family events, we realize how painful it is to be so close yet can't really be together. We can't show our affection and can only act as we normally do. I always hope for some privacy where maybe we can hold hands or cuddle, but I don't think he would allow it anyway. We've both kind of been thinking that we're closely related because we aren't really meant to be with each other. This is mainly an idea stemming from our shared religion. I honestly wish it didn't have to be with way. Every moment I'm with him, I want to hold him in my arms. I want to brush my hands through his hair and kiss him so tenderly. But I have to hold myself back, just like he is, and it's so excruciating...
I went looking around for an answer online, that maybe we don't have to live the rest of our lives separated, and found this place. It really does help me, seeing that there are so many people that are in the same situation as I am.

Oops. Sorry about the censored words, I didn't know the word wasn't allowed. It's the word for sexual relationships between people who are related.

zzzzz nasty!!!

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My cousin was my first love and I figured that all other girls would be the same. I was wrong. There's an unique magnetism that exists between us. It's unavoidable. Yes, cousins are family, and that means there is trust. A cousin will always "know" you better than any stranger. There exists history and roots and bonds from the first instant.

Cousinly relationships are natural. Humans have lived for millenniums in small, tight knit clans, tribes, groups, etc. A vast majority of our ancestors are, therefore, cousins. Our animal instinct, and that is what we are, animals, encourages bonding between cousins.

My cousin is my best friend and partner. She's irreplaceable. We have each other's best interests at heart. And, in every way, she is beautiful. Because of the forgoing, the physical intimacy, even just a kiss, holding hands, looking into her eyes, is beyond description.

Life is long, go slow. Just stay prepared and committed. Do not let family get in the way ... if you have to move to Canada or Mexico to avoid the family's ignorance and poison, well ... life is an adventure and that's icing on the cake!

Like neighbors, we don't "choose" our family members. I will put distance between myself and anyone who tries to "guilt me." That includes parents and siblings, aunts and uncles, and religions.

Your life partnership is about you and your partner. In making your decision, ignore social and religious constraints, ignore family and even (especially) ignore the immediate hormonal lust. Just listen to your inner heart.

Life is about overcoming challenges, like climbing mountains; how high will you climb and who do you want tied onto the other end of your rope?

First, a great resource is www.cousincouples.com. Second, if only I knew 30 years ago that the concept of a soul mate truly existed, I wouldn't have let anything stand in the way of marrying my first cousin. Lastly, historically, 80 percent of ALL marriages have been between first cousins. Think about it,... it makes perfect sense. (And nobody ever said life or love was easy.)

Dude. Omg, you serious about that? Awesome to hear... I freaking love my cousin soooo much it hurts that we have to be separated. She tells me that's she's scared but we tend to hold hands from time to time. I love her even if she's just in the same room. No lust at all. ughhhhh -__-

I'm new to this project website thingy, I just saw that this was the year 2009 when you posted and now I want to ask a question if it's fine with you, how are you guys NOW? It's 2013 and about to turn 2014... Are you guy's still closer then ever?

I think that society is messed up. Love is love. We cannot just turn an emotions as strong as this one off. It is alright for a 25 year old to marry a 35 year old but if a 15 year old dates a 25 year old society will just judge them and judge them. Weather it be between cousins or between a 10 year age gap, weather it be between a man and a man or a girl or a girl. Society will judge you no matter what you do, so I suggest going for whatever makes you happy in life. The people who truly care about you will stick by your side no matter what happens. Who cares what all the fake people think? I hope you have a goof and happy life.

Just stumbled upon this thread while trying to get some emotions off my chest. I have a very sad story to tell, and I'm thinking it might be therapeutic to share it here, especially since I just came back from a family reunion where she, my cousin and the love of my life, was also there.
I'm now 44, but back when I was 22 and my first cousin was 15 or so, I visited my uncle and aunt and their only child (in England; I live in the US). We fell in love with each other during that trip - truly, madly, deeply. It is indescribable the pull that you feel towards each other, as some of you have discovered. It is not lust, though that is also there, but some sort of 'genetic sexual attraction' as I've read elsewhere.

However, unlike the experiences of most of you who have posted here, my cousin and I were then handed our possible futures together on a gilded platter. Nothing could have been better. We're Muslims you see, and it is perfectly legal, normal and accepted to marry one's first cousin. My mother and my uncle (her brother) noticed we were falling for each other, so they sat us down, and said they would be delighted if we wanted to get married and have a golden future together. My grandmother apparently wished as much years earlier. I would have to wait, of course, until my cousin finished her university eduction and we both grew up some more.

The sad part begins here. She went off to uni, I was back in the US. These were the days with no Internet, Facebook, little e-mail, (and expensive transatlantic phone calls). I made the best I could with long letters, occasional (short) trips. But the distance was too much. She missed me to the point where she needed to counter her depressing yearning for me by hanging out with friends, parties, whatever else to keep herself occupied. She was really young and just beginning to explore herself. Long story short, a succession of boyfriends followed. I developed an unhealthy jealousy strain, followed by anger, hurt, etc. etc. After a couple of years of this torment, I made a fateful decision while she still was in university. I called her oneday to say I would walk away because I could not stand her being with someone else, so I would give her her 'space'. It was the right decision for the wrong reasons as it would turn out.

Seeing us drifting apart, the family thought it was perhaps then appropriate for me to move on with my life, find someone, get married, etc. And that's what I did ... got married, had two kids. I'm in my love with my wife too - no regrets there either. Once again, if connectivity (phone, digital, travel) were better things might have been different. My cousin moved on too. Got married. No kids yet. WE never really had a major discussion or fight or resolution of the issues - just a gradual bleeding away from one another, facilitated by the distance and lamentable lack of communication.

18 years have now passed by. But something strange has been happening to me all this time, despite my best efforts. She has come to me in my dreams all these years. Not lust, once again. But in my deepest dreams, she would be lying next to me. Or walking past me with the slightest touch of our arms. Or caressing back my hair. The sensations and feelings are absolutely electric.

I've seen her a few times at family parties over the years, and we've avoided each other and talk very formally, but I cannot think straight when I see her.

I saw her again last week. This time she was visiting without her husband and for whatever reason, when we had a moment alone, I spilled out my heart. Tears and regret oozed out of every cell in my body. Here I was, a grown man, normally known to be very confident and strong, dissolved into a puddle. Despite her best efforts to conceal her emotions, she was a mess of grief as well. The love and pull that I felt towards her all those years ago was now multipled by 10. I have never felt like this about any other person in my life. We spent the entire week, trying to steal moments with one another without anyone noticing. Two adults ridiculously recreating teenage games.

We had lost our virginities to each other way back then, but here there was no sex now. Strangely, we didn't need that - we seemed to be yearning to join one another at a higher level. We didn't even get clear opportunities to hold hands, let alone kiss or anything like that (it was a big family affair in a large vacation home). We just managed a few minutes at a time to be in our own bubble. But everytime we laid eyes upon one another, or our arms brushed against each other as we did the dishes in the kitchen, it felt as if I was transported to another realm. The woman in my dreams was right there and the romantic/lusty/sorrowful/flirty/pining/hopeless emotions were an incredibly powerful, twisted, confusing mess.

What do we do now? She loves her husband, and I'm in love with my wife too. These people are totally innocent, and we do not want to hurt them in any way. We're not talking of running away together and abandoning beautiful spouses and children. Not going to happen. What then? I mentioned to her that all I need would be to see her a few times a year and be lost in our emotions for short periods at a time. She thinks that would be what it obviously is: cheating on our spouses. Can I not have confess to have a deep love for my wife, and also feel a crazy kind of love and yearning for my cousin as well? Is the human heart only meant to choose either this or that?
The parting over this past weekend was incredibly painful; something some of you who have posted here know all too well. It is raw, hits you like a ton of bricks, and you don't actually recover from it. All we shared were a few touches, and mountain of emotions, but I am left in tears whenever I think of her - e.g. in the grocery aisle this morning, or at work now. She is on a plane, and texted me that her makeup is dissolving in a flood of tears. Don't know how this will play out.

Given all the complicated emotions, the moral of this story is surprisingly simple for me in hindsight: I should have been a bigger man back then, waited for her to finish her growing up, ignored all her sexual experimenations with other men, and reunited with her. This sacrifice seemed way too much back then which is why I didn't do it, but now feels like a pittance. So for all of you who are still young, without strings attached and lucky to be in love with your cousins, if your love is anything close to what ours has been like, my advice is simple: ignore everything else and get together and make it work together; you only get to live life once and you're not going to feel the way you do about your cousin with anybody else.

Try reading more about other religions, in Islam for example marrying your first cousin is normal and not forbidden because why would it be? He's not your sibling when it comes to genetics and DNA.


I tought i was the only one who likes my first cousin we are the same age 16 but he looks older i knew him since we were little kids but then i move to the U.S for 5 years when i came back we were both 15 and we dint talk at all i dont know how it happen but we became inseparable i would tell him anything we would chat very late At night and when my parents werent home he came over once he went on a trip and bought me a gift a beautifull owl earings and then i think he tried to tell me he liked me by saying tht my little sister told him tht we made a cute couple but i told him she was crazy and then he got mad and we stop talking then like 1 month he gave me a. Letter and it said tht he miss spending time with me and hes pride dint let him tell me but he couldt help himself so we started talking again then like 4 days after he got drunk and send me a long text saying tht he found out i did it with 3 guys and to tell him the thruth he said he was heartbroken and he like me i dint knew what to think i was mad because it wasnt true and i dint knew who told him tht and i was also confuse with my feelings so when he was sober i told him it wasnt true and he said he was going to beat up the guy who told him tht and i told him why he care and he told me he like me and only wanted me to be his but we talk it out and we knew it is wrong so we stop talking ever since but every time i see. Him i wish i could go back in time when we were just best friends

I didnt expect that there's a lot of people experienceditor the way I am in right now. Im 21 yrs old already & in love with my fathers cousin that is a year younger to me. He' s 20 ryt now and we just had our anniv last month. 

Our story started when he first visit our town and thats the first time I know and met him. He stayed to us for a month and unexpectedly we fell in love with each other it sounds CRAZY for me but we can't help the way we feel for each other. From the start we know that it shouldnt happend but we can't helped it. Ive been with a lot of relationship before him and same as him cause he has this image of being "playboy" but he changed because of me. I never felt this feeling before , the feeling that he is youre life that you can assure that hes the ryt man for you. We really love each other so much that eventhough we just been a month together and the rest 13 mos was a long distance relationship because I need to work and he went back to his home our feeling never changed. The same love we have from the start. 

Even I love him that much at the end of my day I still think the kind of relationship we had, a forbidden! I cried every night thinking of this situation.Our family is too close and we dont want to destroy it. I want him for the rest of my life but how? I plan to break up with him for our family not to have problems but I find it really really hard to do. I Dont want to loose a person that is my happiness, my life and my evrything. What will I do? I need help cause I know this relationship is wrong!

Hi my name is Karin and I'm in the same boat as u but still blood relatives is a since it will be difficult but both of u will find the right person mabe he could be ur red thread but u have to cut it sorry if I sound stupid thts just my opinion I'm still a kid sorta speak but it's the right thing to do

im 16 and i went on holiday with my dad and my cousin, i didnt really know him that well because of the age gap (he is 28) but after 4 days we ended up having sex and carried on doing this throughout the rest of the holiday. our feelings were growing and we could sense it. On the last day he text me in the car sitting next to me and told me he loved me and i replied the same. We just sat there looking at each other and holding hands. Its only been 3 days since and i miss him soo much. Be with him if its possible, you only get one chance with love.

Be careful baby girl, you are really young for him...if he is a first cousin...and if you were to ever to have a child together...Your children could have deformity\'s make sure this is what you want before letting your feeling grow to strong...he is way older than you and he is playing with your emotions! He could go to jail for this, just be careful.. When you are older and have children and you are still feeling these fillings then go back and take the world with him..Just my opinion, but think hard on what you are risking by being with him now. Believe me I know...I have had a crush on my first cousin my entire life...I am now 58 years old and still feel the need to have him hold me in his arms...but would never act on it in the past because I just knew it was wrong, he just told me recently that he was in love with me when we were kids but was too shy to ever tell me, if he only knew then that I felt the same way but I knew I wanted a normal family, which I have now..except for my husband, my husband has physically and mentally abused me for most of our marriage, we are now going through a divorce. And I will soon be single. My Cousin is also going through a divorce. Nothing to do with each others divorce , but it just so happened like that, he left his wife for a younger girl friend. By fate or call it what you want we just started talking on facebook one day and talked for about two weeks now..as we have been talking on line, all these feelings that we both shared as young adults were starting to come back for me and him both, we started out talking and flirting...and the next thing I knew we were almost having sex on line with our conversations..I know it was just lust...but I think I really scared him off..because I have been so lonely for so long and I think he knew that...and I think he was thinking I just needed someone to grasp on to...which is not it at all. I have told him how lonely I have been in my marriage and he was so sweet to me and was making strong advances toward me and I was eating them up...that is until I started to make advances toward him back and then he pulled away. I still have very strong feelings for him...we are so much alike and we have talked about so much in a couple of weeks that we have been talking, and we both want the same thing out of life...everything that he wants in life I want as well..we are so much alike it is scary. We were connecting so well...and all of a sudden he pulled away from me and broke my heart...It wasn\'t bad enough that I was fixing to go through a bad divorce, which was happening way before we started talking. He knows he came in to my life at a very vulnerable time and he knows he really screwed up my head... And apologized to me for it,but anyway I asked him if he was in love with his younger girl friend and he said yes...I was so totally hurt..no one could ever know...but I also know that he still has strong feelings for me..but want admit it...because he doesn\'t want to hurt the family, he is very mature in that manner. He will barley talk to me now..and it hurts so bad....I feel like I am dying inside...I just told him if ever things don\'t work out with them two...I would wait on him...I am so confused men they can play with your head so be careful baby girl..you are so young...and believe me you have many more times in your life for love...it doesn\'t only come once..it just feels like that because you are so over whelmed with him right now. Give this thing time...and you will see this too will pass <3 If My cousin would take me right now, I would jump so fast into his arms he wouldn\'t know what hit him, because we both have grown children and have no other obligations. But I think he is in love with this young girl right now or thinks he is??? I just don\'t know how he could be and be talking to me the way he was for a while...??? I am really confused also baby. So just because you get older...it doesn\'t mean you can\'t still have those same feelings... getting old is only a matter of your body wearing out...not your mind or your heart.....so please think long and hard before you let things happen too fast. There\'s plenty time later on in life...If my cousin marries this younger girl..I will be happy for him that he found exactly what I am looking for, due to the fact he is my cousin and I love his as a cousin...but at the same time I am in love with him..do I know where you are with your feelings. I too will find love again...in someone be it him or someone else..I have had many people in my life that I have fell in love with..so believe me when you say love only comes once...you are way off. Slow down and think about what you are doing...try not to move too fast with your decisions ...much love to you...<3

I'm 16 years old and I fell in Love with my 25 year old cousin. He had took me out to a party to have fun one night because we had not seen eachother for about 6 years. I grew kind of attached to him because in my mind he was perfect, he was sweet, hardworking, and we just clicked.. I had a huge crush on him. Well a week goes by and I'm always at his house hanging out. Almost everyday. Well, one night I was having a tough time and I was crying. I ran to his room and I guess he had noticed because he followed me in there. He held me in his arms as i cried and we had this long talk about life and about my ex's and his ex's. He comforted me and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.. I soon fell asleep in his arms while he played with my hair. The next day, he dropped me off at school and the whole time, I couldn't stop smiling about the night before. It felt so wrong at right at the right time.. The next night, we had watched a horror movie together and when it was time to sleep I pretended to be scared and I clinged onto him asking him to protect me. *eyeroll*.. He played along and kept trying to scare me to get me to hold on tighter and pull closer to him.. So I did. Night after night, we slept together, holding eachother. I fell in love with him after 2 months. And he fell in love with me. We spilled how we felt to eachother all the time and when we weren't together, we texted like crazy. I asked my mother to move in with him, using the excuse it would help me finish high school and that I earn money cleaning his house. She agreed and I moved in. When I turned 16 we would constantly talk about running away together because our love was forbidden.. He felt wrong because I was so young. But he said he couldn't imagine being without me. I couldn't lie, I could never be with out him. It would kill me. Our relationship lasted a year, the longest year ever. Our secret romance was hard to keep a sexret but ws managed. A week ago, he had told me we should stop being intimate and we should just act like normal cousins. I cried so much, it broke my heart to hear that. But I agreed because it's what he wanted. I still live with him and we are still close, but it's not ths same. My heart still aches. He still looks at me the same way, and I can't help but think he has the same feelings as I do. He's my everything. We can't seem to fall out of love with eachother. I need advice, what should I do? I can't take this pain anymore. We're not doing anything wrong, this is love. Society just can't handle it.

I'm sorry for your pain. I'm in love with my first cousin but I don't know if she has feelings for me. She currently has a boyfriend right now. My biggest fear is that she might get pregnant with her boyfriend and if she does, I'll have to walk away. I don't if I can bear the pain in my heart.

I think you should graduate High School first and then move out with your cousin. From reading this, it does seem like he still loves you and keep your head up! It takes a lot of courage to do stand up for what you believe. Don't let anyone else stand in the way of you and your cousin being in love. No one can help who they fall for. If he or you gets the chance to say what you each feel, by all means, go for it! and besides...You both aren't hurting anybody. :) If you need to talk I'm here.

I feel like I might like my step-cousin the way you love yours. I can't get him out of my head, and I know that my family will frown upon me if I tell anyone.

sorry i mean to say my mum's first cousin is the i'm madly in love with

I'm 23. myself and first cousin are deeply in love right now but we can't help but to go our separate ways. it hurt soooooooooo bad. the more i try to forget about him the intense the feelings. i feel as though the world is against me because i have never felt this way for any man. love is sweet like heaven but hurt like hell! i'm giving up my happiness to customs and traditions!!!

I'm sorry for your pain. I love my cousin so much but she has a boyfriend right now and I don't know if she has feelings for me or not. I'm in agony. I hurt so bad. Today I wrote a love letter to her. I don't know if I'll ever give it to her. I don't think I could bear the pain of her rejection.

I can relate because I and My First cousin is also in love to each other we have our secret relatioship it lasted three years, the saddest thing is he's my first love and I'm his first love too.. but because I know it's wrong i find ways to stay away from him, I resigned my current job that time and took a job where I can travel away from him.. I cried and cried a lot , and i know he was also crying hard because of me. I forced my self to married a guy whom I do not love like as I do love him, After two years of my marriage , I met again with my cousin ..But the feelings between us never change now it becomes complicated we started again I don't know what to do.. I do not avoid hum anymore but we set limits between us our love towards each other lead to us become best friends.. But the problem is He still owns my heart and he also confess me he still loves me.. Forbidden Love is really suck you know .. I hate the Roman Catholic now and the Law of Marriage .. because there's no law that forbids first cousins married I would really marry him and we can live a happy ever after life not like this..

I mean because if there's no Law that forbids the first cousins marriage We are now so happy , Maybe we are now married already

Falling in love can have no bounds.

I think I'm going through the same problem right now. I'm 21 and my cousin is 18 we've always spoken online before but it wasnt until two weeks ago that I traveled to where he lives and was finally able to meet him in person. in those two weeks I spent there we grew really close, he hugged me every chance he could get and I would do the same, we held hands we hung out as much as we could before I had to leave. I dont even know when it happened but I fell in love with him. on my last day there he tried to kiss me but I wouldnt allow it because I felt it was wrong for us to do that. even now we chat and all he tells me is how much he likes me and misses me........I miss him too and want to see him again. I feel like I shouldnt pursue it, like I should stop this before it gets too far but I can't. My feelings for him are growing so fast.

can understand your feeling it's really hard when we are in the forbidden love

Don't let family get in the way. If your love for one another feels right, then you two should be together.

Screw the church, you love this man. Marry him before something happens and you lose him. Ive seen many similar stories.. two cousins fall in love, are found out, the family separates them and they are forced to move on. Take your chance now. Good luck <3

Oh my God. Your posts/comments gave me hope. And at the same time made me kinda jealous. I'm a 15 year old guy and I'm really attracted to my 23-24 year old girl cousin(first cousin). It all started when I was a really small boy and she was like 12-14 years old. Our family rented this house and we were playing outdoors. Me and my other guy cousins started teasing her and she got offended so she ran back to the house. I felt guilty and I picked a single daisy and gave it to her to say Sorry. (I was a very quiet kid back then when it came to feelings.) The next instance was when drank alcohol in our Grandparent's house, all cousins and a few Uncles and Aunts. (I was allowed to drink.) I got tipsy and she said to everyone that she is going upstairs. When she was going up the stairs she was a little tispy also so I helped her up to the room where she would sleep. Before she layed down on the bed, I kissed her on the cheeks and said Good Night. The following day, all the cousins were discussing what happened last night then she rememebered be kissing her the night before. I was so surprised that she remembered. The next instance was when we had another family outing, I was already 15. Cousins and Uncles drank again. There was also a Karaoke, so we sang our hearts out. Then she sang a song, it was titled Torete, an OPM song. (Philippine Song) Torete translated to English is Confused. I don't know if she was confused or just wanted to sing the song. Even though she didn't have a good voice, I still saw beauty in her. I don't know if I was imagining it but I saw her look at me when she sand the line, "Torete sayo." which means "I am confused with you." My heart really filled up because I thought I have a fighting chance. Now up until this day, I try to show her signs that I like her. Like always talking to her and not much of my other cousins, taking pictures with her constantly, etc. I have told my Dad, brother and cousin about this and they all disagreed with me loving my cousin. Even though they said that, I still love my cousin very much. I don't love her in a sexual way, likeI want to make lover with her but instead I just want her to know that I love her and hope that she loves me back. In the Philippines, we have a tradition, when we go to a Church we've never been into, we get to make 3 wishes. I always wish to God with all my heart that me and my cousin become lovers. It is my wish, my dream and my hope that she becomes my lover. I love her so much.

You know you have same story with us of my first cousin I'm older of him 9 years but we really did cheat our family...
. because of our emotions we lost control we've been sharing love each other for three years it's really sad ..because of the law forbid the first cousin marriage.

We actual don't love in sexual way too we really love each other that we are crying each other sometimes because of our against all odd relationship and if we are going to purse it every family we had will spare us away..

i(18) and im in love with my cousin sster also, she stares at me, i touch her body every time she passes by, when she looks at me I get the butterflies tingling in my tumm,.. but how do i tell her i love her? should i wait for her to tell me?

I'm in a similar situation as you are. I love my cousin but I don't how she feels about me. I'm so scared. I'm afraid as to what I should do.

I fell in love with my 1st cousin too.. we had a relationship..
when no one's around we hold each other hand,
he also kiss me and kiss him back too,
we hug each other... and tell each other how much we love each other..
but recently he decided to let go of each other
because of the fact that we can't always be together,
we can't love each other forever..

What i'm going to do now??
he don't want to communicate with me again because of having a relationship with your 1st cousin is against the rule.. and he is afraid to our parents and relatives reaction if they find out..

I Love him so much until now.. How i wish he is not my cousin.. :(
i want to love him and be with him forever :( 3

I'm sorry for your pain. I think the love you two have for each other is beautiful. I'm sorry your family isn't supportive.

Im in love with my 2nd or 3rd cousin? He's my mothers, first cousin- son? what does that make him? anyways Im 16 there's a huge age difference (12 year difference) but i love him he loves me and our love for eachother is so wonderful that to think of what other might say about this relationship makes me feel bad. Our relationship started when I stayed by his house most of the summer to watch his niece for my other cousin but over the time we jus got closer. and started developing feelings, originally his brother was the party boy who made a move on me first (7 year difference) I didnt mind much because all of my other cousin thought he was cute, and to know he was interested in me. that was like hitting the jackpot but his better the choices i made. we hung out most night, I'd hang out with his friends, and we'd jus have fun. He works at night so he lets me sleep in his room .. but on this night and everyother day of that day he's off so i find my myself sleepin with him, it was awkward but i had no where else to sleep so i sleep all the way on the other side of the bed and he slept at the other end. the second night is when I asked him to give me a massage and he does, but his hands start to wonder and i allow that because i've fantasized about that for a while. And that night we mad love. and we questioned afterwards if it was suppose to happen, and it wasnt but we've been together 6 months after that and i jus know what im feeling is right.. 4 months into the relationship i find out im pregnant and thats another issue by itself but we love eachother. i really and truly love him, his mother suspects our relationship thats why I dont go over there as often but i miss the night when we'd be cuddle up and i'd wake up and see his face. he plans to move out in a couple of months and my birthday soon follows. for the summer i move in but back home when school starts and hopefully before my 18th birthday I fully move in.. I jus dont understand why people in society make it seem wrong to love a person who knows u best, who you grow up around. I mean Albert Eisenstein married his cousin

hey your problem is okey 2nd cousin or thir cousin is allowed to get married even in churs only first cousins is not allowed because a first cousin is in the fourth degree of blood relatinship

You and your cousin is still free to get married .. Not like my story that I and my first cousin cannot really get married because of the marriage in philippines forbids u
p to fourth degree (

You can get married don't let the chance both of you pass Go tell him that second cousin are allowed to marry only first cousins is not allowed..

Don't worry about what others say. Its ur life, not theirs. Follow ur heart. I just reunited with my first cousin after 28 years & I feel like I'm in love with him. Esp after he told me I was his childhood fantasy & he's kept that a secret & nvr told anyone. We live many states apart, but I think we might go for it. Don't know how to tell family. Prob wont

I married my first cousin in a Catholic Church in Brooklyn, NY, I did not know him till I went to Spain on vacation and went to meet my mom's brother & family, it was magical for both of us the 1st time we met, he later came to the states, my parents were so against it but finally gave in..That was in 1966, I gave birth to a handsome son and beautiful daughter and had a wonderful marriage. The sad part is I lost him to cancer in 2004. We loved each other very much, it was ment to be. Go ahead if he is your love do not loose him..I believe you are wrong about the Catholic Church not letting you get married.

wow you are so lucky one... :( he married you and its okay there to get married with your 1st cousin.... while me sulking and crying all over because he left me all alone... I dont want him to leave me but he said that he wants me to have a normal life.. the only person that I really love is him... :( only him since i was 12 years old and now I'm turning 26 he's still my first and true love... it really hurts coz we cant be together... :(

I'm so sorry for you. I truly feel your pain.

if you start saying you can be together then things can work out, there is always a way in every difficulty.

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm happy that you had a wonderful marriage and had two healthy kids.

1 More Response

Think about Franklin D. Roosevelt and his cousin Eleanor Roosevelt. There is an example!

I never knew that. Thank you for sharing that.

Love is love and you can't help who you fall in love with. People spend their entire life searching for love and if you are lucky enough to find it you shouldn't let anybody get in the way of it. The people who love you most will b there for you and understand your happiness. I hope everything goes well with you two and I wish you the best.

The only reason I can think why your union shouldn't happen is genetics. Your children will have problems unless you adopt!?

On average 2 Random people have 2-3% chance of having a baby with a birth defect, for first cousins it is 4-6% ON AVERAGE. Most of these defects are because they have bad genes to begin with, but, if they have no family history of illness, or no recessive alleles, then they basically have an equal chance as 2 random people, and it is possible that they can even give birth to a baby that is healthier than average.

Women over the age of 35 that are pregnant also have a 4-6% chance of having a child with a birth defect.

This information comes from scientific journals and basic biology courses, things that you could have learned about had you gone to university. Too bad you give advice without knowing what you are talking about =(

Imagine all the cousins who loved each other, were perfect matches, and took some fools advice, now they are sad and married to someone they are not compatible with.

Thank you for sharing that information. It's encouraging.

Whatever yu guys are going through, dont mind about what everyone might think or say between you two. If your LOVE between the the of you is really strong and the relationship is pure in the sense where you guys have the best communication and the repect between the both of you then dont let nobody, no one separates you from what is making you happy. We only live once and life is way too short for be thinking about what other people might speculate or say abou a relationship buld in love and respect.

Absolutely, Thank You. I completely agree with you.

My cousin and I use to think we were the only two persons in this world that is blood related first cousins, and are madly in love with each other. I think people tend to naturally fall in love and when it comes to him and I...it's always magical. He's capricorn and I'm pisces, We don't have everything in common but we sure do accept and enjoy our differences. He's lives very far away from me...million of miles away.
Nevertheless, i will like to say that it is downright OKAY to fall in love, it doesn't matter the person. We are humans, we have feelings and never ever be ashamed of your feelings. <3

Have you guys came out about it to your family yet? And if so,how long did u wait to tell them? Me and my cousin are madly in love too and we cant keep it a secret no more.

My cousin &amp; I were close growing up. We have a huge family with tons &amp; tons of cousins but he and I always paired up. Then he moved away when I was 16 &amp; we lost touch. So 3 months ago when I finally got on Face Book, there he was. I friended him &amp; he messaged me &amp; this went on a couple months. Then I gave him my cell # &amp; we texted all night. Are feelings for each other came out. I told him I do NOT care that we're cousins. Next morning we spoke for the 1st time. For an hour &amp; then that night, last night actually (this is new to me) we were on the phone for hours. I told him I haventt felt this way about a man in many many years (I'm divorced) and that I love to feel this way &amp; that I don't want to lose out in love for because he's my cousin. We live about 16 hours apart, so we can take the time to reconnect &amp; figure this thing out.

It will never be easy when you're in a society that doesn't accept love like this. If you want to be together you have to break from your family and other things because they will never except your love. You don't chose who you fall in love it just happens and anyone in this world can be your other half. I do believe that you should do what you feel is right and not what others think. I came for the summer to Mexico to see my family after 7 years, I'm 20, and the only person that made me feel at home and welcomed was my cousin. He had a girlfriend at the time but we still hung out 24/7. We watched some scary movies and I couldn't sleep so I slept with him. After many nights of sleeping together and caressing me to comfort me we had our first sexual encounter. I knew it was wrong but I continued. After that day everything changed and now we're in love like crazy. Everyone in our family suspects and they try to keep us apart but we still sleep together. When I go sleep over someone at another family members house it's difficult to sleep because I do not have him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but the distance and the family are huge obstacles and if you have the opportunity to be with the one you love then do it.

Wow this story is amazing. I'am in the same situation our family tries keeping us apart but we are about to move out on our own and they hate me for it. My family doesnt seem to blame my cousin for it. its just me. All i know is that we both love each other very much. I'am just scared he is the only person i have and i know he loves me but this moving out on our own has put alot of stress because our family doesnt approve of this. I love him to death and he told me he had made his choice and that was to move inn with me and start a life together. I' am just scared my family told me they dont ever want to see me and it sucks. But i cant hide it anymore we have been hiding our relationship since we were 14 years old.

Thank you for sharing that beautiful heartwarming story.

I fell in love with my cousin in 1981 when I met her for the first time. She was 16 and I was 18. I did not know how to tell her. We became good friends and stayed in touch. She had feelings for me too but did not realise it till 5 years later. We kissed for the first time in 1987 and got married two years later. There were mixed reactions from friends and family. Some very hostile while others said that we looked good together. I have been married to her for 23 years now and our feelings towards each other are still strong. We do not tell people that we are cousins. Those we told, brought it back to us many years later and made us feel like we had committed a sin.<br />
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We still get the raised eyebrows and uncomfortable feelings if people find out. Despite its popularity in some countries and its history in the western world, the modern society has a long way to look at cousin relationships in a non-judgmental manner. It is a real shame.<br />
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I cannot tell you why I fell in love with my cousin. I just did. And I am lucky that I am living my life with the woman I love.

Same thing here. I just love my cousin, i'm fourteen, shes thirteen, we flirt with each other.

Thank you for sharing that amazing story.

I totally understand you! My cousin and I have been really close since last year! When we were very little we were always fighting ( now we are 17). But the last few years we started hanging out and this year we were having a "relationship".We have so much in common and we can talk for hours. He has a two years younger sister where we also hang out although she doesn't now about our relationship( no one knows). Suddenly from the previous month, we stopped going out and communicate so much! I sent him a message asking him what happened but he said it was something else. Today I met him and he seemed okay! I want to talk to him and ask him what we are gonna do about the "relationship" but I feel a bit ashamed. Generally I think I am in love with him,I care for him, I have strong feelings for him! ( sorry for my english) Please help:)

Don't b afraid, do what your heart tells you to do and be happy

when i came out here looking for something wrong about the whole situation i find my self in the same category. my cousin and i have been real close since we were kids we would see each other 2x a year and when i see him i get butterflies and feels like i can't breathe, we have a great relationship we call each other and text all the time, he is married to a wicked ****that i can't stand him being with she treats him like a piece of meat and he as no life with her, a couple of years ago i went and visited him and we had a great time we laughed and played around watched movies and we were laying there and he happened to put his hands on my face and he kissed me and i tell you this kiss i had never felt before, i felt like i was floating on cloud 9 and then we ended up being intimate not on purpose but it happened and i told him i was falling in love with him and he told me the exact same thing and then from then on we would get together here and there when we didn't have to work and we would pick up where we left off, i love my cousin in affectionate way and ever since he got married things have got more serious between us and we even got intimate while his wife was sleeping in the bedroom. i just never ever felt the way i did when i am with my cousin.

Im glad to see im not alone! I have a very similar story. But I just want to point out how people can be so judgemental towards cousin couples. God accepts everyone, no matter what,he loves us. Things happen for a reason and God puts you in your path to make you happy, to test your faith and see how strong you are! I fell in love with my first cousin (my dads, sisters son) We didnt know each other til I was 15 and he was 17. We knew we were related but never really knew each other. When my mother decided to move to North Carolina where most of my fathers family lived, I met him. Went to the same school with him and we would hang out after school and on weekends to where we both started having feelings for each other. I loved seeing that he called me just to talk. We have been together 5 years and even though not everyone agrees with our realtionship. I am happy. My family is now starting to accept me after 5 years of being with him and staying strong. He has stood up with me! But people dont judege us when they dont know were cousins they look at us just the same as everyone else would. Its crazy how when someone that knows you finds out, change their views towards you. Evryone talks and if your happy! Be HAPPY forget everyone else. I know who my real friends are. We are all the same and dont worry about others judgement. BE happy. God loves you!

Im in the same situation. I am deeply in love with my first cousin and we are both getting to the point where we cant keep it a secret anymore. How long did u wait before you came out to your family about it?

I have a similiar situation , my first cousin moved in with us when he was 17 and he was 17 we got along really good from day one after a couple months of living in the same house we had so much in common . One day when my mom and brother went to work over night. we stayed alone, we had always flirted and played aound , that night he was chaseing me around the house we ended up in his room and he ended up tickling me when we stopped he was so close to me that we kissed for the first time . i was shocked but at the same time wanted to kiss him back. i got up and ran down stairs to my room. After that kiss we would kiss all the time we would pick me up from work and we would go out and so on , at that time i had a boyfriend and was really confused . One day when i was coming home from work which i worked graveyard he was waiting for me that morning he went in my room and we ended up have sex . Couple monthes later my boyfriend and i moved in together , that was when i stoped taking to my cousin . i would see him every now and then but very rerlly . later i found out he got married. i was sad and felt bad . from 2007 and 2010 i really didnt see . last year when one of our other cousin past away we met a the memorial. That day when he huged me brougt back so many feeling . There we talked and talked for hours. He asked for my phone number and i gave it to him i really didnt think any thing bad of it .The next day resived a text we talked and text for about a week . After that we i asked him if he never remember what had happen years ago . he answers yea i do all the time " Do you?" i said yea i do. he then told me he loves me and he will never love any one like me. i felt good but at the same time really guitly . he then got a devorcie and we started to hook up every couple days it really hard to leave him now i love him and i know its wrong but i cant help it . and yes am still married and have a son , my son and my cousin get along really good . he just moved back to my moms house so every time i want to see himm i go to my moms house . no one really think nothing of it we were really close cousin from the begining . i dont know what to do ? leave my husband which i do care for him but in a diffrent way. And i know my family will never apove of this.

I too know how you feel it sux but ya gotta have hope faith and glory that's what my cuz says :)

True love is not bound by anything. It always finds a way because it is a power that humans cannot possible hope to control but we are graced with the possibility to discover and utilize it to reach heights of happiness never ever dreamed of by a non- believer of its presence and power.

Same here i need help as well I to love my cousin. She is 16 and i'm 15. Ever since I came back from vacation in 2010, we had a holiday for my religion and we just got back. So when my cousin came over, she was wearing the most beautiful dress I saw in my life. From that point on I fell in love with her. I couldn't help it when I was eleven i tried to tell her that I liked her but she made some face that I didn't understand. Since then I tried saying to my self how i should say it properly so she would understand. I've always had dreams of her making out and just loving each other. So I also need help. FOR THE NEXT PERSON WHO COMMENTS PLEASE CAN YOU HELP ME, HOW CAN I MAKE HER LOVE ME BACK SO WE CAN LOVE EACH OTHER PLEASE.

You cannot "make" her love you back. You have to let her know in a way that shows without a shadow of a doubt how you truly feel about her.( I do not do ****** but I find little to nothing wrong with it, love is love regardless of relation or otherwise). Do not do it in a way that will scare her or cause a big scene. Just be sincere with yourself first then with her. Even having a chat with her one on one in a private room( with the door closed mind you, not something that you want out in the open in these mid-evil days. Lol). Plan the conversation out in your head. Just make a plan that would be suit her first and then you. Remember you are trying to not freak her out. You also might want to try and get a hint or two about if she feels the same way or is OK with the idea of blood relative relationships. Good luck!! :)

You cannot make someone love you!

It goes against the pricipals of loving someone.

I am a woman in my mid 40's. I have a cousin who I have never really known; i was just a child when last heard of him. Its been more than 40 years. He doesnt remember me either. He is a first cousin and is now in his early fifties. He has been married to the same woman for many years and is so unhappy. We reconnected through the works of another relative who tried diligently to find him over the years and finally did through Facebook...the online "trouble making" social network. He introduced himself to me through email and we have communicated off and on over the last 10 months. Recently, just a few weeks ago, we began flirting with each other through our mailing and began to develop this forbidden dialogue and emotional relationship. Now we are making plans to see each other. We are both very torn about it because of his committment to his wife, but mostly to our relatives. We come from a family inundated with snobs and if they found out, it would be off with our heads. But slowly and surely we are falling in love and we havent seen or met each other yet, and i am so afraid. We have shared private and intimate details about ourselves and whats solidifying the bond is the acceptance of one anothers short comings. We have so much in common. When i hear his voice, i melt. The other day he told me he was nearly in tears thinking about me because he feels like I am the one. This morning i burst into tears after we spoke because he told me he was in love and it scared me. I just dont wanna hear another man tell me he loves me if he doesnt mean it. Its those three words that weakens me and it would be even more devastating if this was just game coming from him since at the end of the day we are family. Bloods thicker than water so i want to believe... and deep inside my heart, i do. I am going through with this. I will see him soon and we plan to spend that time expressing our deepest feelings for each other, in each others arms and i cant wait. But what happens after I'm not sure. But i havent felt this way in such a long time. I want to be in love. I cant beleive im loving my cousin.

Hi I was blown away by your story because my story is similar. I wanted to know how it went for you two when you met. I was not sure if you posted an update. I am new to this site and I joined because your story attracted our attention. I too am in love with my first cousin who i have been communicating via, text, phone and video chat. I am 36 and he is 39. I am still blown away about everything that has happen and our feelings toward each other. Back in December of 2011 our family discovered that we had a cousin that some of us did not know about. He was found through Facebook by his brother, my other cousin who i have known since we were little kids. After a few of the family communicated with this new cousin for the first time, who I call mia amor (which means my love in spanish), I sent him a text introducing myself. I heard from him the next day. We initially text then spoke on the phone, last decided to video chat. I remember thinking he was very handsome, looked a lot like our family and right off the bat loved his personality. Ever since the first time we video chatted we have not been able to let one day go by without texting, calling and/or video chatting! We have recently told each other how we felt and have totally fallen in love with each other. We admitted to each other that since the first time we saw each other there was an attraction. Since the beginning we have blown each others minds on how similar we are. He does have a girlfriend who he has kids with but has told me that basically he has been unhappy and that he feels that his prayers have been answered with me walking into his life. He told me that I am what he has always wanted in a woman and that he wants to be with me and make me happy. We are planning to meet this month and he is taking steps to come back with me to MA and to move with me. I did have a boyfriend who i was living with until i got my own place....we were basically helping each other out financially and decided to stay friends while doing so. I just recently moved, Everything seems to be falling into place. I am scared what will happen with his girlfriend and our family. We are hoping to keep this a secret as long as we can especially from our family (his newly found family). My parents will not except this and they will be devasted......i sont know what to do but I know I am not letting him go or not passing on being happy for once in my life. He has gone through a lot since December....he found out about us, he found out that he was adopted and now this ......falliing in love with his new first cousin. Its been very overwhelming for both of us but I have never been in love before and this just feels right......I cant see myself without him...i need to talk to him and see him everyday. I cant beleive I am in love with my cousin.....I adore him.

What a beautiful story. I'm glad you found each other. Thanks for sharing.

I just went thru the same problem last month. Went to a family wedding, I get to meet one of my cousin that I never met b4. Only 3 days spending time with him, I feel like for the 1 st time I'm in love, this feeling is not intentional ! It's just happen! I never thought that I woulda fall in love with my cousin, but can't believe this happen to me! I miss him ever since I fly back home, dunno watt to do! I prayed to God to show me the way.... Even though he did say, but I know that he feel the same way!

i am goin through the same thing my cuz just got out of jail it is my dads sis son and i am falling in love with him and we have sex all the time i just told him i love him and he tells me the same thing we even told each other we wish we culd b together wut suld i do i love him and i am really close to him he understands me more thn anyone does i get along better with him thn anyone WUT DO I DO?

OP, marry him .<br />
Go ahead, love is a holy bond , raise a middle finger to everyone and marry him.

"I know how you feel. you should read my story because i went through and am still going through similar problems "<br />
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same here<br />
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read mine too , I think we all share something very noble and precious.

its really hard so much..<br />
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i have experiencing that today..<br />
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if u love each other..<br />
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fight for it

Yes, the Catholic church does allow it. You just need to talk to the priest about it and get permission. Knowing this has given me more encouragement to give a chance at love with my best friend and soul mate (yes my cousin even though we can't see each other that way, don't think we ever have) after 15 years. Hard part is convincing my father.<br />
Wish you the best!

what do you mean the catholic church does allow it? for 1st cousin i dont think so...:( they are really strict about it..

I know how you feel. you should read my story because i went through and am still going through similar problems