Falling In Love With My First Cousin
My cousin and I met when I was 16 and he was 19. At the time I was vey shy and didn't speak a lot so we didn't get a chance to get to know each other -I just knew him as another relative. All that changed when I graduated high school and started working in the family business. He would go every so often to see this girl he liked at the time and when she wasn't there, he and I would chat, uneasily at first but quickly gaining more confidence in each other. I got into my first serious relationship and when I broke up with my boyfriend, I turned to my cousin for advice and such and we started talking even more. He also got into a really serious relationship with a younger girl and they were going to elope but her personality and his started to clash and eventually they broke up. He was very upset and by this point I already had strong feelings toward him so I was there to help him like he helped me cope. In 2007, I went to his place for his birthday and brought him a gift. We were watching a movie and then all of a sudden he leaned in and gave me a kiss. I was confused for like two seconds but then I kissed him back. Since day one I knew our relationship was not meant to be and told him so, but he always replies the same thing -that he knows it but he can't help but love me. I've tried unsuccessfully to break up with him countless times but his patiences perseveres and I always end up with him again. In Christmas of 2008 ,we had intimate relations for the first time and two months ago ,we finally went all the way. Now I know I will love him forever and cannot get him out of my mind but I'm scared of my family. My dad has always suspected and he doesn't approve of him and me even hanging out together. I don't know what to do, he has asked me to marry him but I always dreamed of getting married in church and the catholic church doesn't allow marriage between first cousins. All I know for sure is that I love him deeply and he loves me deeply too. Why can't it be as easy and simple as that?