I've Been In Love With My Cousin For 8 Years, And Now We Are Finally Trying To Stay Together Forever! =)

Ok this is a hard topic for me, but here i go. I am 20 years old and my family is from Guatemala. I live in the United States, very far from family. But, that family I didn't meet until i was 12 years old. That was the first time i went to Guatemala. I met many cousins, aunts, an uncle, my grandma etc... But one of my cousins caught my eye. We lived together because when we went to visit we stayed with them in their house. So we spent a lot of time together. Well we did a lot of things together with the family... almost every evening him, me, his 2 sisters and my aunt would get together in their room and watch movies. That was almost always an everyday thing. Well i would always put my head on his legs while he was sitting against the wall on his bed. But, it was never anything bad. One time i fell asleep on him... ill never forget that day because he later told me that was one of the best days of his life because it made him feel so happy. He eventually fell asleep for a bit too but ya... anywho back to the point. One day I was going into the patio to get my clothes that were hung up I was coming back in when he caught me in the hall way... i gave him a hug and he held me, he didnt wanna let me go... i looked up at him and he told me he was in love with me. I was in love with him too but i denied it to myself because i knew we were cousins! So i let him go and i told him we're cousins and he said he knew so as i was going to continue my way to the living room he caught my arm and hugged me. I smiled and as i looked up he kissed me!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was then that i knew my heart was his, but i was so afraid i denied it and tried to ignore my feelings. Well we kissed about 2 or 3 times that year, we were always close so when i left Guatemala it hurt really bad becasue i didn't wanna leave him!  He would send  me stuff here to my house and we tried to stay in contact.  Well the next year i went to Guatemala again, it was almost the same thing we were close always together and so on... after that year i didn't go back until the following year... that year was different... We were a bit more distant because although i knew he loved me and i knew he loved me i'd hide it from anyone. i never told him... So he eventually got a girlfriend which hated my guts might i add... And that's how i found him 4 years ago, with a girlfriend he "loved." Well time went by and we wer never got as close as we did the first times. until about a week before i left, he told me how he thought his girlfriend was cheating on him bla bla bla bla and they eventually broke up. he said he didn't love her like he loved me, well turns out the day before i left he told me she was pregnant.... that crushed me!!!! But i didn't show it for him.... i told him he couldn't leave her becasue she was going to have his baby... well finally i came back home... for 4 years we never contacted eachother... me because i thought he was happy and he thought i was as well... he waited for me to go back for 2 years and it took me 4.... so he married her.... He married her becasue she tricked him into it and he figured i was never going back..... well suprise i got back from Guatemala about a month ago, after 4 years!!! Sooooooooooo much happened but to make a long story short, we are going to try and be together. He is now going through a divorce with his wife because she's a psyco woman! they were never happy and she cheated on him more than once. I met his son who is ADORABLE!!!!! His mom would get jealous because he only wanted to be with me when i was there... but she never liked me she'd only act like she did in front of me. anyways one day he took me out to a beautiful place where i could see all of Guatemala!!! He showed me all these different places from there.... then he told me he still loved me, how thats never changed and how it never will. He told me how i am the only one who has gave him butterflies and how I am the only one who makes him forget everything and makes him happy by just being around him. Well i couldn't hold it in anymore... i started crying with everything he told me with all the songs he was showing me and singing to me!!!! I told him i loved him too that he made me happy as well!!! And then he told me so what are we going to do and i looked at him and i said i dunno, we're cousins. He told me i dont care i love you and after a long converstaion we just decided to try and fight for our love... and so here we are. im home in the united states and he is in Guatemala.... he told me he is going to work hard to come be with me here, but we haven't broke it to our family yet and thats what's scaring us... My cousin (his sister) and the mother of my god daughter told us to try and go for it! She is with us!!! so i know one person is!!!! But at times i get soooooooooooo scared! I'm catholic and i feel like a hypocrit, but im not sure if its wrong.... I don't want to hurt my mother as well because she is my best friend!!!...... But if she accepts us, we could abe soooooooo happy together!!! If anyone has this situation or any advice for me pleeeeeeeeeese help me! i still am afraid!!!

Loquita2089 Loquita2089
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 19, 2010

Um...what ever happened? I well, have a similar thing but. It's unrequited one way I believe. Whatever the case, I hope you ended up happy. I swear I was going to cry reading the story...geez, love.

Thank you so much! So far so good! Lol Lets just see what happens in December... Please pray for me! =) I may need it! =) I hope things work out for you as well.... i know its hard but it feels so much better to fight for love rather then to hide and run from it!.... Trust me ....!!! =)

Hey... my story is very similar to yours. however, my family found out. and they forbid us from seeing one another. I'm still unsure of what to do with my cousin. But I'm glad you're trying to make things work. I know how you feel.... you feel like theres no1 who can relate to you. I really hope your mum accepts you guys. I would be so happy.

Wow you guys are great!! Thanks for all the nice comments!!! its awesome to know pple are with me on this!! Thank you!!! =0)

Have you browsed www.cousincouples.com yet? They also have a nice message board, maybe you can post the same story there!<br />
Personally, I think you should go for it!! Don't take a chance to loose him again!

To confused4u,<br />
Yes, i know i love him with all my heart and he loves me as well... You know i recently talked to a Deacon and told him my story... He told me there have been cases where it is acceptable even in the church... what it depends on is the law of the state your in... I'll tell you something... follow your heart. That's what i did. I was as scared and frightened as you but my heart and [him] are helping me to get through this.... just listen to your heart don't punish it =) im learning new things about our situation as we the days pass... This story isn't even the half of what ive been through... its just a basic outline but its really starting to work for me! =) so as i said just follow your heart becasue your heart truly knows what you want =)

yess definately you story is almost exactly like mine =) i'm sooo happy that ur fighting for wat your heart is telling you.