Dad Changed

Every since I was young, my dad & I didn't get along.  I felt coldness towards this man.  I must say, we all had a hard time with him.  He called us names, belittled us, often screamed at us, hit us (not me) - the hitting part didn't happen often.  I believe the reason he treated us badly is because of the booze and not because he's a bad man.  (I'm not stating alcohol is an excuse for his behavior because there is never an excuse).  If we would ask my dad anything, he would take away his shirt to give it to us.  He always made sure and still make sure, if we ate, had clothes....all the necessity.  After I got married, we became a little closer but I still had a hard time.  I still welcomed him in my life cause for me, he is still my dad regardless and the coldness was still present, maybe because I was affraid letting him in.  Its been a while, he changed, he's more caring, understandable.  I don't know what triggered it but I like it, it feels peaceful.  Once in a while, he will make negative comments and if its done towards me, I either don't make it get to me or I will respond in a nice way in order for us to talk about the situation. 
  

In November 2009, I was having a hard time with my personal problems, my dad noticed.  We were both in his basement, he approached me and said, are you okay?  You don't seem like yourself?  We don't see you often anymore and even the neighbours noticed you don't come here any longer (I was stunt cause it was coming from my dad which I'm not used to and I felt he cared).  I nodded my head with a yes that I am okay (I wasn't), I didn't want him to worry.  In the end, he said: You are my daughter and I love you and if there is anything that bothers you, you can talk to me.  He also said; I am sorry if I ever hurt you in the past.  (It felt like it was a dream, yet it is reality).  He now calls me at least once a week.  Everyday, he asks my mom if she heard from me and if I don't contact them, he worries (lol).  I hope he'll remain this way! 

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Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr
36-40, F
Jul 11, 2010