My Emt Boyfriend, Loneliness, Coping.

The love of my life recently became an EMT, and I am SO proud of him.
Thing is, I don't quite know how to cope with the loneliness and the demanding hours of the job.
Just today, he got called in for his first 36 hour shift, and I literally went into the bathroom after he left, and bawled my eyes out, for the simple fact that it was so random, and I realized that's how it's gonna be from now on.

If the EMS station needs him, he's gonna have to drop everything and go, no matter if he has a date with me, if we're spending time together, or whatever else.

I don't really know how to cope with all of this. I miss him terribly already, and I know the loneliness will only get worse.

We were supposed to spend time together today, watch movies, cuddle on the couch, etc... quality time..
and he had to leave.

people who say that EMT/Firefighters girls overreact, and that we're just jealous about sharing him with the job.. that's a load of phooey. We take a psychological/emotional beating, just from the fact that we can no longer plan dates, or know definitely that we'll get to see our boys on a certain day.

I had no clue that being an EMT's significant other was so emotionally demanding. I'm really not sure how to deal with everything.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this in the best way possible, please don't hesitate to strike up a conversation in the comment section..

Any suggestions will be appreciated..

Much love.

bethanynichole bethanynichole
18-21, F
6 Responses May 10, 2012

I know this was 2 rolling up on 3 years ago and I hope things worked out for you I know it's hard But keep strong. Take him lunch if you can! Ask about his day. If he doesn't talk about it that's totally normal! Don't feel in the dark about it! I know there's things that no person should ever see that emt/firefighters/cops ext. should see! Just be patient ! Love is kind! If you get lonely find a cool project for around the house to build something! There's got to be something :) but in the end of his shift it is always worth the wait

Dear Bethany,

Just moments before I read your post I had a huge fight with my boyfriend of over a year who happens to be a paramedic. As you can guess the fight was about him having to miss another one of our planned evenings for work.

A paramedic is a special job for a very special person and unlike you I knew what I was getting myself into but boy I had no idea it would be this frustrating and tough to balance our schedules.

I just keep reminding myself that it's what he loves and who he is and if I love him I need to accept this part of him. But its difficult, the lonelyness, the countless unfinished conversations because he has to run, it's all very demanding. In the beginning it's easy but as time goes by one starts to wonder if you can deal with this for, well, ever. But if we love our men, we will. It will be tough but I think the biggest thing is for us to decide whether we can handle this or not.

Sorry I have no miracle answer for you!

Goodluck my sister ;)

Thank you so much for this. We haven't fought about his work schedules yet, although there have been times that he accidentally forgets about our plans and volunteers to work someone else's shift..
He's working a random 24 hour shift today, and he's at the station resting up right now, for eight more hours of work.
It's nice to know that there's a whole community of strong ladies who are supporting their loves in what they do.
Thank you again. <3

How can I cope in the best way ??

My boyfriend is a paramedic and I feel totally the same as you. I feel like I can ball my eyes out 24-7. I love him so much but it's soo hard to cope with x x

Well, the way that I have coped with it this far, is thinking about all of the people that need him.
Sure, we would love to have our boys with us all the time, lounging around the house, cuddling, watching movies, doing random things together..
But think about the poor souls out there who need medical attention.. Who need a paramedic or an EMT to come save them..
That's our boys.
That's what they do. They save people that need saving.
Just today, my best friend of 15 years, her father had a mild heart attack.
And who was the one to transport him from a clinic to the hospital? That's right, my boyfriend.
He got his heart to go back in rhythm and got him stabilized before he reached the hospital.
That's what our boys do.
It's great to have them here with us, and we do miss them while they're gone to work for insane hours at a time, but just think.
They're saving people.
I hope this helps, honey. I'm always here to talk.

My boyfriend has been volunteering as an ems and he is taking a class to become an emt. What really bugs me is always worrying about him. I'm always scared he might get hurt. Like right now we were talking about a big storm that is gonna hit and how he wants to go to the bay that day. While he's all excited I can feel my stomach rolling at the thought of him being out there in the storm. I bawl my eyes out all the time worrying about him and how our future will be once he becomes an EMT. I would never want to see him get hurt.

I understand completely, dear.
During the whole hurricane epidemic, my boyfriend was praying that he'd get called out to go help with the hurricane victims.
It's a rush of pride and adrenaline, for them, I do believe.
Knowing that they're the heroes. If someone needs saving, they'll be the ones to jump and run to the rescue.
My stomach does cartwheels thinking about him driving an ambulance in bad weather, and I'm dreading the really cold winter months, when the roads freeze and there's snow on the ground, (I live in WV, we get harsh winters).
I haven't really cried since that episode.. I think I needed to get it all out of my system right then.
I promise you, my boyfriend has been an EMT since March, I believe? and in that time, him and his partners have gotten into some sticky situations, but they are always taken care of.
I'm almost positive your boy will be safe. It is scary, to be the one sitting at home during a storm, knowing that our loves are out there driving around, saving people..
But they're the very few people brave enough to do it.

I understand you very much. I have been dating a emt for the last 9 months and i am starting to get use to it. I have just started in the last 2 months of the no calls or texts. All i can say is it is hard and not far to not knowing when you get to see him next. i am luck if i get to see him on the streets working. all i can say is keep your head up and your faith. let him know you love him and you are there if he needs you. you are his support team at home now. I am not sure if this helps you at all I just hope it works out for you both.

It is very hard.. We are some strong ladies!
My boy tries his best to text me while he's at work, but when he's running calls, it's hard for him to reply back sometimes.. and then there are the times when he's stationed where he gets absolutely no cell phone reception..
He calls me his little cheerleader, because anything he does, I'm behind him 100%.. sure sometimes the hours are harsh, the work weeks are tough, and I may want him to stay with me at times, but I will always continue to support him.
Because after all, who better to support an EMT than the woman he loves?
Keep on keeping on, sister.
I'm here if you ever need to talk; best wishes to both you and your boy. (: