Dear Brother

I wish i could be more like you. I wish i could be successful in aping you in everything that you have done which make us so proud of you. Not only me but also our parents, sometimes i feel they love you more. How silly of me right ? Parents can never choose between their children unless they are mentally retarded. Its just a silly feeling which i am unable to push away from my mind. You have been more than an elder brother to me, you have been more than a great inspiration, you have just been 'perfect.' I am not able to express my love for you in words. You are able to make a special place in everyone's heart so easily. I don't possess that skill, i don't know how you do it. Are you blessed ? Do you possess skills other from a normal human being ? Its not that i am mean, rude, selfish, unsocial but trying to be like you feels impossible. I know trying to be like someone else is just a stupid idea, its always good to be just yourself but i cant help aping you. Each move i make, each time i want to be like you i fail. Sometimes i feel, i shouldn't have been your brother, hell ! i shouldn't have been born to this wonderful family. I should have been born to some retarded parent who would kill me right after i was born.

You are the one who is able to bring the satisfied smile on our mother's face and in our father's voice. You are the one who is able to bring the feeling of satisfaction in all our hearts. Wherever i go i hear your praise, "be more like your brother", "your brother has been a polished gold", sometimes i just ask them to stop. They probably think i am jealous of you, but honestly brother even the lord will curse me if i be jealous of  you.

I just want to say that, I love you with every part of my soul and i wish i could be more like you, make you proud, come up to your expectations that you hold about me. Please forgive me if i have ever hurt you. I wish i could be your true brother.   
lyfnluv lyfnluv
18-21, M
1 Response Aug 6, 2010

you deserve to feel loved in your family I think maybe you are too hard on yourself. Its hard to learn to love yourself I you don't feel unconditional love from your family. You need to stop thinking of these feelings as truth they aren't. What you think and what you feel are two different things, and only thoughts are truth. You may think you don't feel like you are good enough for your family but you are. Everyone is different in familys noone is the same. you need to love yourself and feel confident that you are lovable because you are.