I Love My MotherWhen I think about how healthy I am psychologically, I cannot help but look to the support of my mother ever since I was a little baby. Most of my friends had a competitive and combative relationship with their mothers and I think it has cost them a very reliable avenue of support for life's troubles.
My maman, as I call her, has never forced her expectations on what I will become onto me, only expectations on how I will act. She has always forced me to be strong, self reliant, polite, outgoing, open-minded, curious, confident and respectful of myself and others. Never has she said I must be this or that and allowed me to pursue my dreams in performance arts, even though she, my papa, and my five older sisters have all been successful in more academic pursuits. She was supportive of me going to school for drama, but because I respect her, I took her advice about also taking education with a minor in psychology. She did not force me, but because I did not view her as a competitor, like so many of my girlfriends, her advice wasn't something I instantly threw away as meddlesome.
I owe her for that, because acting (I gave up on music and singing) is extremely difficult to earn a living doing. I can make extra money, but it is long tiring hours that do not pay much, if anything. I am good at my craft, and I still believe I will make it one day, I have my degree so I can earn a conventional living. If I had abandoned her advice I am not sure where I would be right now, except relying on my parents for my living, which is repugnant to me.
It pains me when I see other women discount the wisdom of more mature women because it doesn't align with their own fairytale view of the world. No man is going to make you happy, no baby is going to make you happy, happiness is your choice and your gift to pass along to those around you, it is not something you take.
Merci, ma maman.