Love Her So Much

I was just watching the Syfy channel and I remembered my granny being terrified of those movies. She's 73 and oh so sweet. She was the one who took us in when my mom was ailing in rehab. I remember how she would wake us up for school with a hot meal sitting on the table waiting, our clothes ironed hanging on the chair and our homework checked over and signed. She always packed me and sister's luch because she knew we hated to eat that crappy cafeteria food. She would comb our hair, put us on the school bus and then go in the house to clean and look after my brother. She was so old schooled and strict. She definetley kept us in line. We knew to never talk back, to say please and thank you or yes ma'am/sir to an adult and to stay in a child's place. Whenever we got sassy, she would break out the wooden spoon and pop the sh!t outta us...especially me b/c I was the loudmouth=) She practically raised us in the church. My family is baptist and she had us go to Sunday school, prayer meeting, bible study and everything in between. It's not that she was super religious, it's just that our neighborhood was not so nice and she always said she'd be damned before she let us succumb to anything the streets had to offer. After she said this she would always close her eyes and take a deep breath. I knew she was thinking that that was what happened to my mother. We had a lot of crazy times. I was once sitting in church fidgeting, bored and angry for having to sit through another 4 hour speech on a sunday and I said super loud " grandma im tired of coming to church so much. I'd rather just go to hell".  The reverend stopped and so many heads turned. She wouldn't hit me at church but when we got home I knew the deal. Grandma made me go outside to pick a switch and well....she lit my @ss up. And the time I set a laundry bag full of clothes on fire(it was so pretty) and stayed to watch it burn even though I couldn't breathe. I remember her yanking me out the room and down the stairs out the house, looking me over, seeing I was okay and later on when we were clear to go back in the house, beating the tar outta me and putting me in the corner before coming to get me with a piece of cake and a hug. I love her so much. When I go to see her now, she still treats me like a little kid; she cleans up after me, cooks my meals and washes my clothes. That's why I love doing things for her; taking her out, buying her things. But all she really cares about is a visit every now and then and a few long conversations on the phone. I grew up hating my mom and pitying myself for never getting from her the care and nuture that I so desperately needed. But now that Im older and a lot wiser I realize that I had it all along right in front of me.

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Mar 15, 2010