Surrender

"It's not the destination, it's the journey."

I honor my husband, my love, my life. Nobody said marriage was easy.  Nobody said we would live "happily ever after."  However, I believe its these struggles we go through that make us who we are and what we will become.  

He's not perfect.  He's not as strong and firm as I would like, but he's mine.  And for that, I'm thankful.  He's coming home today, and I am nervous.  I am not sure how I will react when I see him.  This week I've spent hours crying.  Not because I've missed him too much, but because I've been getting real with the fault I shoulder in our closed off marriage.  I've begun to open my heart to him.  I've begun to respect him for who I need to - The Head of our Household.  He hasn't fully stepped into that role, because I haven't let him.  This week I have done a lot of growing.  A LOT.  I have taken the hard steps and have admitted my faults.  I have poured out my heart to God, and have accepted His healing and forgiveness.

I am surrendering myself to my HoH.  No matter what that means for our future.  That is what I am doing as of this moment.  I will serve, honor, and obey him.  I will support, lift up and encourage him.  And I will let go of my pride.  I will choose to let him guide me in HIS way.  Not mine.  I will wait patiently by his side as he chooses or not to accept that role, and I will pray for him.  I will be faithful to him in my heart, my thoughts, and my actions.  And I'm putting it here so that I may be held accountable, that I answer the hard questions,  that I face the tough truths.  

Here I am.  All of me.  Broken, Open, and Willing.  I have surrendered.
ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
36-40, F
1 Response Dec 14, 2012

Wonderful heartfelt thoughts and goals. Transition, a time of change, in this case a time for you and your husband to work towards further establishing his authority and leadership in your household can be quite challenging. Your patience and the way you expressed your goals for your own conduct are amazing gifts that could make all the difference. Admire your honest powerful thoughts and emotions.

May the blessings you receive each day ... be the ones you truly need the most.