My husband's family has hated me from the moment they found out I was previously married and had a child from that marriage. My husband's parents are Catholics and absolutely against divorce in any way, shape, or form. Believe it or not, they actually liked me for the first 4 months of our relationship, before they found out I was previously married with a child. My husband kept this from them because he knew how judgmental they were and he was afraid to tell them. I understood but felt guilty keeping the secret. He was about to tell them when his brother did the honors for him. My husband's brother was being ridiculed by the family at the time for his choice of a girlfriend and he overheard my husband talking to me on the phone about my daughter. I am sure he probably went to them to take some of the pressure off of his own situation. At first they seemed supportive on the surface but we found out very quickly this was an act and not how they really felt. They have always shown "concern" for their son being with someone who is essentially "trash" (they have called me this in the past). Although I have been very successful in life, they consider me to be nothing but trouble, despite any of my accomplishments. They have criticized me most harshly always, and despite the fact that I have been with my husband now for over 7 years and we have had many successes together, I will never measure up to their standards. They are very judgmental, with me as well as with others. They have created many situations in which they have done many passive-aggressive things to try to get me to react so that I will look like a bad person, although in general I really think I am am nice and a good person. My husband and I make a great income together and are finally at the point in our lives where we are starting to establish stability. We are planning on trying to conceive soon (after we get the ok from the doctor). In the past, his family has caused MAJOR stress for us, to the point where I actually considered walking away from our relationship (this was much earlier in our relationship, well before we got married or were even engaged). My husband was adamant that we should stay together and not let them rule our lives. We love each other more than anything, but his family has caused such immense stress for us in the past, that my husband actually became involved in online cheating. They obviously didn't cause this directly, but the stress they caused for us put us in a bad place. We became distant to each other and we let them come between us. His online experiences never progressed to anything more than online (thankfully) and we have worked hard to get past those issues. It took me awhile to realize this, but these 2 different online incidents were directly linked to 2 different times that we got into HUGE fights with his family and became distant from each other as the result. I am sure that he did this as a way to cope and because he and I were distant at the time. Anyway... this is all in the past, but the reason I am writing this is that we are now not on speaking terms with his family again. They tried many passive-aggressive things over the summer and I got fed up. I exploded in email to them and told them exactly how I felt about the headgames they played. My husband supported me 100% and told them they would not be a part of our lives anymore because they refused to accept me. In the past, when these same big explosive fights have happened we always tried to work things out at some point. We did have about a year and a half where we didn't speak to them but eventually I guess we caved into their pressures to sweep it all under the rug and pretend that everything was ok. This last fight was different. My husband and I felt that they were trying to come between us so we made a vow to each other not to let them. We decided that they can't be in our lives because they will always cause undue stress for us. It is unhealthy and we feel that we had to choose either our marriage or them. We chose our marriage. We have actually gotten closer than ever over the last few months. However... now that we are planning to try to conceive, I have had these worries. Worries about our children. It's bad enough that they have been inconsistent in my daughter's life ... she has no idea of all that has happened, but I think wonders where they are when we don't see them for a long time... this is bound to come up at some point... we will have to explain things somehow and who knows how much she already knows... Anyway... Obviously, my concerns are what to say to the kids in the future. We have had thoughts of allowing his parents only (the siblings have actually been much more bold and rude than the parents) supervised visitation with kids. We absolutely agree that my husband's siblings will be out of our lives forever. They have just said and done too many things too many times to even be given another chance ever. If they sincerely asked for forgiveness we would forgive them. But they won't apologize or ask for forgiveness ever, because they are too proud and stubborn, so we won't ever be able to forgive them and make amends. It is very unfortunate that it has to be this way, but that's the way it is. We know it must be this way. His parents have been very quiet though. We really don't know where they stand with things. This is all very confusing because his family is excellent at being two-faced. We never know who we can trust because they will be nice to us but then gossip about us behind our backs. I know though, that his sister and mom are close and his sister is absolutely hateful towards me. It would seem strange that his mom would not be hateful towards me when they are so close. Regardless though, his parents have not crossed the line. All of his siblings have. His parents basically said nothing in response to the last email fight... My husband emailed them recently saying that we would like to try to salvage some kind of relationship with them although that would be impossible with his siblings. He asked to talk over the phone. His dad finally called and he talked to him briefly. His dad basically said they wanted to talk but were really busy... We really felt that we were being blown off. I just wonder if it is even worth it. My husband and I are happy together away from them. It seems that they always brings us so much heartache and pain. However, I want our kids to know their family... And add to this situation the fact that we all live in the same neighborhood. It's not fun to be in a neighborhood with them when we are not on speaking terms. We couldn't move right now even if we wanted to. We are stuck here for 10 years at least... then we can be free to move if we wish. We will see what the future brings in that regard. What do we do now? What do we tell our kids? Should we even attempt to allow a "distant" relationship with his parents or cut our losses?