I Can't Trust My Husband.. He Keeps Breaking My Heart With His Lies !! I Am About To Break Up With Him ):

We met nearly 2 years ago .. We fall in love & we got married last April. I used to trust him so much that i believed every thing he said ! i guess i was a fool.
I caught him lying many many times but he always denied & he promised & swore not to lie again and if he does it again to breake up & leave him !! so i believed him. Yesterday after he picked me up from work he started telling me a story about how he found a friend ( girl ) he used to know her from collage & they chat in face book & all so i didnt say any thing but i smiled because i know he doesnt chat in face book!! i came back home i used the lap top to check my e-mails then i tried to check my face book page then i found his conversations with that girl he told me about earlier that girl was calling him sweet heart & darling but he denied & he told me in his language ''farsi'' it means different !! i kept my self calm just not to spoil the evening. then i found **** movies downloads in the lap top.. i lost my calm i confronted him i shouted at him cried , called him names & told him to pack his things & leave. he denied it again & even he start packing some of his things & went out !! he came back after 10 min saying that he is sorry & he was scared & ashamed to tell me the truth about the movies & its not like he is cheating on me and maybe i am lying at him too !!  how dare he said so ?!! i told him its not about the movies its about him lying over & over again. And every time i ask him if he wants to watch those movies he can watch them with me bt he kept saying that he is not like other guys who watch these movies & he doesnt need them cause he has me bla bla bla.
i asked him to leave and that i cant take it any more .. he said he loves me and if i am breaking up with him it means i never loved him all the time.. he called his mom and i had to talk with her out of respect and i told her that i cant forgive him. she made me promise her to give him a chance because he doesnt want to loose me  and that i am  strict on him ,, and if he lies again i have the right to leave him !!  i was shocked that he talks to his mom about these things and he lies to.. and was sad that i have to hear that from her not him !! any ways, today he is acting like nothing happened. i cant tolerate him touching me or talking to me not any more i am not even sure about if i still love him. 
i am so sad and so hurt. i dont know what to do.. ?? i feel like i lost faith and i totally give up on our relationship and our love..
please if i am wrong correct me and advise me what to do to make things right..
jewel80 jewel80
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 6, 2010

I agree with the above, <br />
My husband does similar things, he asked me to install net nanny on our computer but that does not stop him trying, he has had an issue with those movies before hand and i said the same thing, watch them with me, then he says he doesn't like them. but lo and behold there they are again in the search engine. <br />
It's true what you say it's not so much the actual act it's the constant lies, even when you have found the truth out anyway yourself, but ask him to be honest he just can't seem to tell the truth untill its to late. I have an issue with him chatting to women on chat sites and even the x box now, and even though i have tried to reason with him before the conversations turn as they have on several occasions, and ask him how he would feel if the tables were turned, but he knows I would never do this to him. apart from seeking marriage advise from a processional i don't really know what else to do as the texting my friend inappropriate messages feels like the last straw.

i agree that love is worth fighting for, and this is another great example of how facebook destroys relationships! in a similar situation the woman wouldnt give up her fb for her man and they broke, so each is dif i guess. i am willing to bet the chatting started with the facebook, you always end up friends with people you dont even know but it can lead to more. if he can stop the chatting and bs if you asked him to then it seems worth it to save it. but if he will not give it up and wants to continue chatting with the girls and continue "cyber cheating" then you have to ask yourself how much can you take,,<br />
im sure he would see reason and stop chatting. if he doesnt and hides it then it could mean trouble:P i have to agree with marji on this, he needs to stop chatting etc before it goes too far. as it stands it still sounds fixable :)