My Husband Has Anti Social Personality Disorder What Do I Do?
Well... I have been married now for almost four years and have a beautiful little daughter. However I am now on a verge of a mental breakdown in relation to my marriage and do not know what to do. I know that I should leave him but I find it so hard! He mentioned to me before that he had ASPD but I did not take heed in what he had said to me untill recently when I began to research it and when reading about it I was shocked as everything it said about ASPD reflected him and his behaviour, and everything suddemdly made sense to me. When we first got married and I fell pregnant he put me through the worst time ever!!! He was never there for me mentally, pysically or emotionally, we would have arguments and he would dissappear for weeks or sometimes even months!! He was an alchoholic and would sometimes behave in violent aggressive ways. During my pregnancy one of his friends wives told me that she had something to tell me and it was that her husband who at the time was one of his best friends had told her before that my husbands ex girlfriend was pregnant with his baby and that she would have been pregnant while I was but a few months more. I was shocked!! and was 6 months pregnant. When I asked him of course he denied it and still does untill this day but I know that he is a liar. However I still do not know untill this day if it is true? Also when I had just given birth I went out for a girlie night which I feel was much deserved, I got home to my mums house at about 12pm night and fell asleep, he than came in at 7am in the morning paraletic drunk smashed a glass cup againgst the wall, oicked up a large sharpe piece of it and attempted to slash my face open with it while our new born was in my hands but luckily he did not though I could see it in hid eyes that it was 50/50. Another time I found a message in his facebook he had sent to his ex girlfriend with his number telling her that it had been a long while and that if she wanted to talk she could call him and gave her his number with xxx at the end of the message. When I confronted him about it he denied it at first than he started laughing saying that me and him was not together at the time as we were arguing (which is not a vaid point) as we always argue and get back together. So out of anger i hit him. Later that day he kept phoning me leaving me messages stating that he was going to slash my face and kill me and burn my whole building down with everyone in it. I thought that he was just saying that as he was angry but he actually came to my house at 5am int the morning and smashed a big glass thing through my window and than tried to get into my jouse nut I called the police and he was arrested. I than had social services at my door within a few days but they knew my daughter was safe especially as he was in prison at the time for it, and so they closed my case. when he got out we got back again and since than he stopped drinking and started praying, I thought that everything was going to be alright but is is not. Everytime things are going good he is there but when things are bad and I really need him he is not there for me. We do not talk about our problems at all he just wants to carry on as normal like nothing is wrong and he does not spend no time with his daughter or me for that. He gets up early in the morning and it out all day even though he is not working. he does not take his daughter out or play with her he thinks buying her stuff is enough. His cousin is a horrible women and we do not speak, his sister is also a horrible person and we also do not speak, I have never met his mum neither has my daughter and she is almost 3 now. His mum is dying of cancer and he went to see her in France and did not even tell me untill i called him on the phone and he said he was in france, i was shocked. he stayed there for 8 days than came back and since he has been back it has not been the same I feel like i hate him even more. I do not understand why he did not take me with him to meet his mum i mean wouldnt she want to at least meet her granchild before she dies? also when he went it was new years eve and so they spent it all together as a family without me and his daughter! I have done nothing to her I have not even met the women I am really confused???? Now I do not even want to kiss him let alone sleep with him and am miserable and depressed having to deal with my last year of uni (essays, exams and so on) deal with my daughter who can also fell that her mummy is depressed as well as deal with him! He can see that I am really depressed as I cant sleep at night, I have lost so much weight and am always crying, but he does not bother with me?? I just had a miscarriage and while miscarriaging i called him to tell him what was happening and that i was on my way to the hospital, his response was that he was at his friends house and that he would call me back, only to fall asleep and call me 3 hours later. from than i feel that there is no saving this marriage and ther is much more stuff that I have not mentioned. Sometimes I think that it is not his fault as he suffers from ASPD as a result of his childhood but what about me? please can you share your thoughts on my situation and maybe give me some advice as to what I should do. thank you