My BelovedWhen I was a teen, and all my friends were starting to talk about marriage and kids and their ideas for their perfect wedding, I shocked a lot of them expressing my views.
I felt marriage was a sham, just an excuse for people to live unhappily together. I swore I would never get married, and I was sure I would never want children.
Five or so years later, I still felt the same. I had even turned down two guys when they proposed. I gave them some line about "if we get married, it'll just make problems". I really felt like being married was pointless; if two people want to be together, a piece of paper wasn't nessasary.
But when I started seeing my now hubby, I changed my mind about children. I guess I maybe caught the 'baby bug'. Five of my highschool friends were pregers, and a few already had a child. And I knew my man wanted some, someday.
We knew each other for years before we became an item: he told me on our wedding night that the day he met me, he decided to make me his. I was in a ******, love to hate you relationship at the time, so he didn't make moves then. But within a month of the end of it, he had claimed my heart.
I had a 'rebound' fling (really just sex) with a mutual friend of ours, he knew about it and told me straight that he was okay with it. We spent so much time together that first month; it was like being a necking teen again.
I fought it a little; telling him not to get attached (because I knew I was in love) and the first time we slept together, I told him it didn't mean anything. But it did. I was trying to be tough, not seem clingy, you know?
Well, seven months after that, we were married. It was small and family oriented. I would have been happy with just a courthouse wedding; we did the whole hoopla for his mom (he's her only son) and I really believe she had more fun then we did. At least until we left the reception ;).
Now, we've been together for four and a half years. We talk, we lay quietly together, we love each other more everyday. He is my lover and my best friend. Just thinking about him makes me feel blessed, and if I try to think about life without him, it brings me to tears.
I love my husband with everything I can, and even after we're gone, that will not change.