My Ipod Embarrassed Me And John Legend Was Not To Blame!!!I was heading down to London from Glasgow on the train for a business meeting. I bought a 2nd class ticket and found the train was full in cattle class so headed to the first class carriage for an upgrade, as I needed to catch up with some work on the laptop and plug it into too charge.
Once I got into first class it was amazing...! a brand new Pendalino Virgin train. The only other people in the first class section with me were 4 snotty looking business people who looked like they owned the train, no pleasant hellos or nods off the head, just a glance up and down to see if my suit was designer and what shoes I was wearing.
So I decided to get my iPod out and new bose headphones and before long the waiter came over and asked if I wanted a complimentary english breakfast juice and coffee to which I accepted feeling a little hung over front he night before.
So having tucked into a wonderful full english breakfast, toasted tea cakes, bacon, sausages, tomatoes, poached eggs, black pudding, beans the full works, I stuck my iPod on full blast into my bose headphones to drown out the voice of these 4 miserable business people talking about every bit of bullshit you can imagine, and opened my laptop and got on with my work.
Well as you can imagine it wasn't long before the breakfast started to rumble in the stomach and not thinking straight as I listened to John Legends Ordinary people trying not too sing out loudly, I felt this wind building up inside me and in no time at all I let what must have been the loudest most horrible FART off Ive ever done. Well with the noise coming out of my i pod at full blast, I didn't realise these 4 passengers next to me got the full extent of what I had just released into this small first class cabin and I was completely oblivious to the fact everyone but me heard it, and it didn't put John Legend off either...! 2 minutes later the full effects of what had just happened came to me and I could have disappeared under the seat never to be seen again as I looked across the cabin to see 4 disgusted looks on their faces.
Next stop all 4 where gone never to be seen again, and as my grand father used to say to us when we where young - "Its better out than in"