My List of Must Haves In a Man

First of all I don't want to sound concieted at all.  It was through my bad experiences with men that led me to make a list of must haves in a man.  I finally learned to love myself enough to learn that I deserve more than just an average ordinary bum that doesnt work and abuses me.  Soooooooo, after years of being a single mom, here's what I came up with as a list of what I wanted in a man:

(and it had to come from God, because I didn't want to screw things up again, lol)


2. Put ME first above anyone else

3. Treat me like a queen.

4. No alcoholics.

5. No drug addicts.

6. Willing to accept my children.

7. Love me unconditionally

8. Work and support a family without being lazy.

9. Be there for his family!

10. Always communicate, and be kind!

Well I got it all, plus more. Not bragging but the sole reason why I got all in a man plus more is because of my faith in God and willingness to let Him choose who was right for me, not my own desires that are selfish human ones. I had a talk with God, and I told him to choose my man for me IF he wants me to have one. If not, that was ok too as I was fine with being alone.  I told God I wasnt looking for anyone as I relied on Him, and if He wanted me to have a man he would bring him to my front door. 

About a year later my door bell rings, its my future husband, whom I've known most of my life. He showed up, and basically never left.  I tried to deny him and didnt want to date him but he kept telling me that God sent him there to take care of me, and thats what he's going to do. Boy did I feel like he was full of bull. After about a month of him nagging I went out with him and sparks flew, on July 4th I'll never forget!  He told me he loved me and he'll never let me go.

We have 6 children and ten yrs later we are still as we were in the beginning. We completely put our trust in the Lord. 

God doesn't fail you if you let him into your heart, he will give you the desires you want. I got more than I ever expected!  

My man waits on me hand and foot.  He is an excellent father that loves all his children, he raised my other two as his own, AS a teen! Yes he is ten yrs younger and we started out when he was 19. He makes an excellent living ~ and I don't have to work, I quit my job a few years ago.  What a blessing it is to have such a good man that is here for me always. I love him as I love the Lord, and nothing could ever change that! Sparks still fly when we are together :)

Oh yeah!  He does all the cooking!!! He is THE master CHEF!

Neveah Neveah
18-21, F
15 Responses Oct 1, 2009

LOL! Too funny because everyone that comes to visit says, OK, YOUR OUT HE'S MY HUSBAND!!!!!<br />
LMAO!!!!!!<br />
He is a GREAT MAN!

lostandfound, you are very smart too. Stick with this and you are going to succeed, after all ~ whats better than God's Will? Worked for me!

Hmmm...I am glad u like it....I am used to hear like ur culture is insane and i would never come there....U ask anything abt my culture..I am ready to explain...

im so glad you found someone who will respect you and look after you :)<br />
i too have a list of must haves in a man. i think mine too have come from past experiences and i will settle for no less than Gods best. i have chosen not to date until i know he is from God. <br />
<br />
i think i can make these decisions because i have become a much stronger person an di know who i am and how i want to be. i am not looking for acceptance or approval from any man. i am happy with Gods acceptance and approval and i am comfortable enough in myself to not need to seek after guys.<br />
<br />
i really like how you left it up to God and when you prayed about it you allowed God to say no if he wanted to. <br />
<br />
i pray like this too.......its only if its Gods will, will it happen. i know this and when you know that and God doesnt give me what i ask for it either means i am not ready or it is not part of his overall plan for my life.<br />
<br />

wow! I wish it was like that here ! Should be a MUST to do back ground checks here too. Maybe we should move to your land, lol!! Things in the US are completely OUT OF CONTROL!<br />
I think usually you know if you really "got it" with a girl or not within a few weeks, I guess dating is out? WOWWWWWWW!!! Gotta go but I'll be back, I'm interested in your culture!!! we decide! Not my mom alone..Also i should develop skills to know abt someone in two hours..Thats the best bet I have to get my girl...But lots of background check and investigation is done before marriage....Its a bit different here...<br />
U know dating is a sin here..Its tantamount to robbery<br />
But marriages are 95% successful..My mom and Dad are in deep love..And so is the case with my aunts and uncles and every couple I know..So i have to trust this!

Oh I forgot, is it your mom that decides? I cant remember the culture stuff ~

Yeah..I got what u r saying..I think u r right..One should put wife first but respect both in the same way! Some sort of vagueness is still there...Let me decide when i many years left..I have a lot of time to mom wont mind giving importance to my wife..So there should be no problem!

This was a list that I VOWED not to break :)<br />
See what happens when you leave things up to the higher power!!!!

This was a list that I VOWED not to break :)<br />
See what happens when you leave things up to the higher power!!!!

Oh, about mother in laws. I've always had respect for her ~ I always loved her unconditionally ! I always will, and I've told her that !~ even in the midst of her stealing from her own son and hurting him beyond belief. Soooo, your mom doesn't seem like the type that would hurt you like his mom hurt him. She traded him for a CAR when he was a baby and didnt raise him anyway but see, the problem is, he will always love his mother . What I don't understand is how he can still keep going back and speeking to her when she continues to stab him in the back. For you ~ as for a family, when you marry a wife shouldn't be of any problem, as I'm not with my mother inlaw. When you marry you should always put your wife first but STILL respect your mother as you would your wife. You still have a relationship with her but you have an added family , see what I'm saying, it shouldnt change anything, unless its my mother in law. SHe is jealous of her own son, and hates the fact that he is happy.<br />
NOT RIGHT.<br />
So did I say it right? I don't know because I'm not real good with words.

I forgot to add: No abusers! lol

But I am always confused in Pt no.2..U know my mom is good...So when it comes to my wife and my mother whom do u think I should put first?<br />
Well this is going on in my mind for some days!

aw, I always learn from you, wise one!!! Thank u!<br />

Well I learned how i should be!