I Love You But You Are Making Some Really Stupid Decisions...

     I want to start off by saying that I love my mom. She is an amazing woman. At this point in time she is making some really bad decisions right now that are having a really bad effect on me. she believes that she is free to go out to bars and sleep with other men. This is partly due to the fact that she started having children early (she had me at 18) and that she got married early also (23 yrs old). I wouldn't mind the going out but the problem is that she is married still to my brothers' dad (I consider him my dad also because my real father wasn't in my life). I was taught that marriage is a sacred union that is not to be taken lightly and all the other bs that comes along with it. She is doing the complete opposite. My  problem is with the fact that not only is she messing with multiple men but she is still married. Cheating is wrong, so I have been taught but she sees no problem in what she is doing! Maybe its just me being a goody two shoes but seeing her contradict the teachings of my childhood is really unnerving. I trusted her to teach me but she can't even follow her own teachings! I don't know what to do. No one understands the way I feel. My brothers don't care because what she does benefits them. I can't bear to live here anymore but I have to cope until September. I have tried to talk to her but she dosen't want to hear me. If anything I want her to calm down for my 5year old brother. I don't want him to see this and think that it is ok to behave like this. I don't know what to do anymore.
jadedlilly jadedlilly
18-21, F
7 Responses Dec 23, 2010

Thank you. I hope every thing gets better with your mom.

Im proud of you because your strong . .and your not like your mom . . . =) . . i also hav a problem w/ my mom . . but diffrent from your situation. . . less love more hatred i felt for her =(

I think sheryi315 nailed it. We want moms to be everything they want for us to be but like any human they can jump off the right track. I do believe that her core value is the person you love and her core values is the person she will return to.

sheryl315 thank you. how did you come to realize the consequences of your actions?

Jadelilly...hang in with your mom. Even grown ups go through "phases" and it sounds like she raised you with a really good moral background...which is who she really is behind all this really inappropriate behavior...I also went through a really bad phase when my 20 year marriage broke up and I did some things that I really regret doing. I wasn't a very good role model for my kids either..I was pretty selfish. Its been 10 years now and I regret what I did and all the damage it caused my children. ANd I'm working really hard to get my life back together for the stupid choices I made. Please don't give up on your mom. I know shes a good person deep down bc she raised you with a good foundation of character.

Thanks you guys. I am realizing that she dosen' t and probably won't care. runfromlove, I couldn't explain it any better. My friends tell me I am giving her an excuse to act like this because I continue to stay. I can't just abandon my brothers. No one else is going to take them, not even their dad. I feel a sense of responsibility and obligation to them. Its starting to wear me thin. I know that when I go back to school next month I will have to work my schedule around me having to get the little one to and from school. I am moving to a new city in September and I hope she will have it together by then.

aw,that is just soooo hard on your part..my heart goes out to you..although ive never been in such situation but i just know how hard that must be on your part...i hate to say this,but your mom will never listen,because at the very moment she thought she's right just having fun and all..but surely she will come back to her senses one day...only we'll never know when a situation can change...youre blessed beyond your years for thinking that way-abiding on the right principles your early childhood inflicted on you..keep them and live with them, the best you can do is to just pray for her...something happens when we pray!xoxo