If Only I Couldthat feeling of hurting someone that trust and loved you 100% is probably the worse you'll ever encounter in your lifetime. I wish I could undo that very moment when i hurted him. no guy has ever treated me the way he did before, messing around with a married that i thought i was somehow ''in love'' with only because he did something no1 ever did to me before. but because of this i lost the respect of many persons around me, including my mother. if only i could undo this but a friend of mine who has always been there for me told me that i shouldn't live my life wit regrets, just look at it as mistakes and learn from then. if i had listened to her before non of this would've happen. i want to cry but its like i have no tears.
if only i could talk to him right now, if only i could see him right now, but i understand that he needs his ti,e apart because honestly i know how much he 's hurting right now and i wish i could take the pain away but unfortunately i cant. i hope he knows how much i still care for him, how much i still love him, how much i anticipate his calls. he came into my life at a point where i felt like giving up, he didn't care what others had to say about me, he'd be there when i needed him, he'd never hide anything from me, he'll always let me read his texts , answer his calls, anything but sleeping with a married man was something i couldn't come straight to him with even though i wanted to. nothing would thrill me more to get a text from him or a phone call. i just wish i had one more chance to make things right with my life, with him, with my mom, everyone. i feel like giving up right now but i still feel hope is there for me to carry on even though i dont feel it.i am soo sorry for all those that i've hruted especially that man's wife, she hates my guts but now i really get why. i wish i had a chance to make things right with her now. i still pray because i have great faith in the lord, n i know he'll make into a better person one of these days. i wish i had my mother to talk to to just let her now how sincerely sorry i am for causing this much pain. if only i hadn't break his heart like this. I want a complete do over in my life. I wish i could be somewhere so far from home to help me forget about the person i once was.
honestly to most persons who will read this you'll wonder how awful i was at such a young age but i am not a really bad person, just been in bad situations that tend to get the better of me most times in my life. i wanna make things right now in my life, turn a clean page to a fresh life. even if he never speaks to me again which i pray he does, i'll have to accept his decisions and move on with my life. I was thinking about him, thinking of me, thinking about us what we gonna be, open my eyes yeah it was only just a dream.if only i could undo all that happened to me in my life. if only i could. I want to u to know that am not living life, not eating right until ur here with me again.