My Parents. I'm Nothing Without Them..

I guess i've always been a demanding child, and my parents have been really kind to meet them. Even since a child, they've taken me to McDonalds, and they've always bought me a Happy Meal. They would always work hard trying to buy me the thing I wanted. Whether I would be happy with it for two minutes and then chuck it in some corner.

I wanted to learn how to play the Guitar, they got me one. I wanted a new computer, they got me one. I wanted new clothes, they got me. Laptop, phone, 3DS, Wii, everything my parents got me, but i've been a pathetic son. I'm infact in tears right now.

I guess the first 8 years of my life were the best. I was a happy kid, I was good in studies and well as sports, I was cute, I did not have this spot right under my eye. I had nice hair too. Now, i'm a kid who gets scoldings and scoldings for not studying and wasting time. I'm an average student, always in the centre between smart and dumb kids. I never got selected in anything for sports since 5th Grade. I cannot play the guitar. I can't do anything properly. I'm 6 feet tall, I have dandruff in my hair since a year, I have this small flabby area around my stomach (small, mind it) since 2 years. I'm not smart, handsome, sporty. I'm nothing. A complete failure. And I post my petty "failure" stories on EP. During these years, I really wish I could have done better. It's just these three things that destroyed me: Shyness, poor memory and procrastination. Like Hiroshima and Nagasaki, wiping my brains off.

How is this related to my parents? Well, I feel really sad that I couldn't be the son they wanted, a son who's good at at-least something. I guess my younger brother takes that spot.

I've been feeling really guilty. They've spend alot of their time, effort, money on me. For what? A useless average. It really makes me cry.

This is why i've decided to start earning, from this age. What my parents did for me, i'm gonna count it as debt on me, and I have to work hard to repay it. I blog. I run 2 blogs right now. One has been running since a year, and gives me a cent a day. The other is hardly 1.5 months old, and i'm earning nothing from it. Both are on Blogspot, and ive been trying really hard just to earn a dollar which I can use to buy a top level domain. It takes me 100 days to complete a dollar. I've completed 365 and earned around 3 dollars, which I can't claim, because their minimum payout is $50. I've been posting alot of things on Fiverr.com that I could do for five dollars. I still haven't found a buyer.

I've stopped demanding stuff from my parents now. I don't ask them for cash, or to buy me anything. I'm really happy with whatever they have bought me. Even while eating food they have to carry me all the way to the table to stuff food into me.

My blog is the only thing I have right now. I've been trying to earn higher, but i'm stuck at a cent a day. My mind will go into anything but studies. I need to study. I need to get good grades for them. My parents always have to face embarrassment during the last day of school. All the good kids get awards and medals, me on the other hard has to sit with the rest of the failures.

I wish I could go back in life, undo all the mistakes, all the demands, and become a better son.

I just wish that I could study well, even right now. I tried for 2 years, failed miserably.
owlcity01 owlcity01
13-15, M
Jan 14, 2013