He's Depressed And Losing His Mind, I'm Worried

My boyfriend is amazing. He always has treated me perfect and always lets me know how important i am to him.  He's been at Fort Hood, Tx for a few months now, and he recently had a weekend pass to come home.  Ever since he went back to Ft. Hood after that pass he's been ridiculously depressed and its scaring me at this point.  He snaps over the littlest things and goes nuts.  Sometimes its like its not even him.  Then he'll snap back to reality and apologize his heart out,admitting how he's losing his mind.  He misses home, he misses his son, he misses his life, and he misses me so much.  I feel helpless. I try to talk him down but it doesnt seem to help him much.  I suggest he goes to the bases BMH, basic mental health, just to talk to someone who can help.  But he refuses, because he says if he goes there he'll be harrassed by doctors, he'll lose his guns and knives and his life in the army will be made hell.  I just want to know if its normal that soldiers lose themselves like this sometimes, and if so, how to help.  I love my soldier, and I'm so worried and scared for his well being. 

jordynperry jordynperry
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

First off, I'm sorry, I know it can be hard and scare sometimes.<br />
But this is normal for more than 70% of soldiers. They're kept on edge their whole deployment and it's hard for them to transition from 'someone is probably aiming at my head right now to 'I am home and I am safe'. My soldier still hits the ground at any loud noise and pulls a gun at every shadow.<br />
If he won't get help (they rarely do) you need to be there for him, but don't pry or pressure him. He'll talk when he's ready. When you do get time with him, do something you used to do together, like if there's a special place or activity. But be careful of fun things that can quickly turn frustrating or filled with any 'triggers (things that you can connect to previous episodes). In short: Keep him busy and laughing.<br />
Good luck and God bless.

its normal believe me its normal! my boyfriend is deployed in Iraq right now <br />
and he has his days were he just feels like he is going crazy! and it hurts me more then anything to see him like that... we have our up's and downs... be we need to keep in mind that our guys have really hard jobs and all we can do is be there for them. what i i do when my boyfriend is feeling down or missing home i just tell him i love him... like today he was sad and i asked him would a picture cheer you up lol i know it sounds funny but he said yes... i was at work at the time so i had my friend take a picture of me and i sent it to him and he said that it really made him happy... i also send him text and emails telling him how proud i am of him and how much i miss him and cant wait to be back in his arms... he has three months left then he gets to come back to the states ... and i am going to be here when he gets home and thats what you need to do just be there for him even if he's all grumpy and if he doesnt feel like talking tell him okay i love you and i'm here when your ready to talk. dont worry everything is going to be okay just stay strong not just for him but for you too! hope everything works out and i hope i could be some help if you ever want to talk i'm here for you! <br />
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ok..so i dont know if its normal..but my soldier is at ft irwin in cali and hes been acting weird latly too...he nver got mad over nething and now the littlest things agitate him..he says its jus cuz he miss home and misses me...so i know how it feels to be worried..idk if itll help or not but ill be praying for u both..