My Son Gives Me The Strength To Go On.I have a four year old boy who unbeknown to him has the power to pull me out of the darkest pit I may fall into.
When he looks at me and holds my face with his two little hands and gives me the biggest sloppiest kiss ever and says to me " I love you mum", I can feel all the pain and suffering inside just melt away.
It has been a year and a half that I have separated with his father.
I spent many nights just looking at my precious boy while he peacefully lay their sleeping, and the tears just streamed down my face, feeling so sad and guilty that I had to make the painful decision to break up our family.
I know he is so young and would not be able to understand the reasons why this had to happen, and I hope that one day when he is much older he will forgive me for not having his dad around.
As I stand there watching my little boy crying and reaching out for his dad when he is dropped off and asking for him not to go, I can feel my heart just ripping into pieces. I never wanted this for him but I had no choice in the matter and it is for his own good that this had to happen.
When I hold him in my arms after his dad has left and look into his big blue eyes filled with tears and confusion and he sadly whispers in my ear " I want daddy and mummy together" I just feel like someone just stabbed me in the back!
I tried to explain to him the best I can to calm him down and always tell him how much we both love him.
I would do anything in my power to spare him from the pain and suffering as he is the innocent victim in all this.
There is nothing more sacred than the love a mother feels for her child.
My boy is the air that I breath, there is not a day that goes by that I do not thank the Universe for the precious gift that has entered into my life.
Whenever I am feeling down, worried or concerned about my future...all I have to do is look at him and then I know that everything will be fine, that I would move heaven and earth for him to be safe and he will nothing but love and security in my arms.
I just want to say thank you my little boy for giving me the strength to pick myself up from a devastating mess, you certainly are the wind beneath my wings!!!
I will always love you.
Wiltingflower 36-40, F 6 Responses 3 Mar 30, 2012