Somethings Are Better Left Unsaid.
Well first off I'm 16 & a junior in high school. The guy I like is 26 years old, & he's my history teacher. I just like him, I don't say I love him because I don't...I just can't love him. I don't know why I feel this way towards a teacher, it never ran through my head that maybe I could like a teacher. I had him last year for my sophomore year. I didn't really think of him until the end of 1st semester, & that's when I left his class.
Last year in the 10th grade we had to take our writing test. Well everyone got split up in different teachers room, it just depended on what you're last name was. Well out of all the other teachers I got put into his room. After we we're done taking the test my friend & I were talking, minding our own business. Well my teacher came up, completely ignoring my friend & shoved papers in my face. He said, "Look what you're going to have to do next year when you have me" I said "How do you know I'm going to have you?". He just shrugged his shoulders, looked me in the eyes, & smiled at me for awhile. Well guess what?! I have him again this year.
Last week we were in class doing this assignment. I was flipping through my book looking for the answers. He came up behind & started flipping through the pages asking if I knew where something was. I said no. He flipped a few more pages & said oh wait never mind I have a book at my desk. I was like okay. The funny thing was that he was already at his desk looking through his book before he came over to me & looked through mine. It was weird.
There's this guy, Cameron that has a crush on me. I kinda like him, he's a really sweet & nice guy. Well the other day he was walking me to my class. When we got to my class he asked me for a hug, so I have him one. I didn't notice that, that teacher, that I like was standing right there. He gave me a look like someone just punched him in his stomach. I didn't know what to do so I turned around & walked away. I felt so bad, I ended up crying about it for almost 2 hours.
Yesterday we we're taking a test in his class. He called me up to say something. After that I went & sat back down at my desk. He walked up & handed me my test & told me something I did something wrong but he said I probably got confused by something & he made it right. As he was about to leave my desk, I looked up at him & he was staring at me in the eyes, & smiled at me for a few seconds, more than he probably should, then walked off.
There's a ton of other experiences that happened between us but I don't want to write too much.
I have no idea what to do. I really like him, a lot. I've liked him for over a year now & I don't know what to do. Every time I see him its like nothing else matter's. When he's class ends & I have to go to my other classes I feel like somethings missing in my heart. He's on my brain 24/7. He drives me so crazy. Someday's I just want to hug him & never let him go. I can't explain how he makes me feel, its like a high feeling I get every time I'm around him. Not the drug high, just the high feeling you get when you're adrenalin is pumping. I just don't know what to do anymore, but something's are better left unsaid.