He's Not Even Technically My Teacher!
I am in orchestra, he is the band teacher. Actually he's the band teacher AND the choir teacher, because he is amazingly talented and can do anything, it seems, that he puts his mind to. Unlike me. I can do things, but never very well, and though I'm always willing to give new expereinces a try, I never do amazingly at them the same way he does.
Anyway, the fact he's not really my teacher makes things slightly complicated. Wait, things are extremely complicated regardless! What am I talking about?
It's sort of a fiasco, because all of my friends have to humor me by going to band and choir concerts with me, and, just recently, an opera he was in. Can you believe it--he sings opera too! He has this stunning, silky tenor voice. Ooh, gives me shivers just thinking about it, and it transfers to his speaking voice as well so just hearing him talk is like listening to music! I also have very good friends for bearing my stupidity. I love them, but I also love him. It's a predicament.
And he's amazing personality-wise as well. His sense of humor is the sarcastic, witty clever sort that never fails to awe me, leave me feeling blown away by how sharp he is, and his laugh is like music too. He's charming in a way most guys aren't (at least the guys my age :P) and it just sweeps me off my feet. *Sigh* I pass him in the hallway and he'll smile and say something simple like good morning, but just the combination of his sweet smile and voice makes my heart jump into my throat, and I can't speak for fear I'll spit it out at his feet, so I just smile stupidly. Or, I ignore him if I see him because I'm constantly afraid he'll think I think he's amazing and I look away, wondering if he can hear how loudly my heart is pounding, or if my face is red. I blush so easily, and ninety-percent of the time I never feel it until its too late.
Ugh, I could go on and on, but I don't want to sicken anyone. It's sad. I've been in love with him since the beginning of my freshman year of high school, and I we still just barely see each other, and I feel like I'm pining away. Don't know what to do.