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He's Not Even Technically My Teacher!

I am in orchestra, he is the band teacher. Actually he's the band teacher AND the choir teacher, because he is amazingly talented and can do anything, it seems, that he puts his mind to. Unlike me. I can do things, but never very well, and though I'm always willing to give new expereinces a try, I never do amazingly at them the same way he does.

Anyway, the fact he's not really my teacher makes things slightly complicated. Wait, things are extremely complicated regardless! What am I talking about?

It's sort of a fiasco, because all of my friends have to humor me by going to band and choir concerts with me, and, just recently, an opera he was in. Can you believe it--he sings opera too! He has this stunning, silky tenor voice. Ooh, gives me shivers just thinking about it, and it transfers to his speaking voice as well so just hearing him talk is like listening to music! I also have very good friends for bearing my stupidity. I love them, but I also love him. It's a predicament.

And he's amazing personality-wise as well. His sense of humor is the sarcastic, witty clever sort that never fails to awe me, leave me feeling blown away by how sharp he is, and his laugh is like music too. He's charming in a way most guys aren't (at least the guys my age :P) and it just sweeps me off my feet. *Sigh* I pass him in the hallway and he'll smile and say something simple like good morning, but just the combination of his sweet smile and voice makes my heart jump into my throat, and I can't speak for fear I'll spit it out at his feet, so I just smile stupidly. Or, I ignore him if I see him because I'm constantly afraid he'll think I think he's amazing and I look away, wondering if he can hear how loudly my heart is pounding, or if my face is red. I blush so easily, and ninety-percent of the time I never feel it until its too late.

Ugh, I could go on and on, but I don't want to sicken anyone. It's sad. I've been in love with him since the beginning of my freshman year of high school, and I we still just barely see each other, and I feel like I'm pining away. Don't know what to do.

Yellowrhapsody Yellowrhapsody 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 31, 2008

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omg Mr Romeo is witty and has clever humer to! so weiard!

oh my god. i cannot believe i have come acorss your comment. you literally have just told my story. honestly!!! :O:O im still in shock!!i love a teacher...who too isnt technically my teacher!! he teaches me guitar after school!!<br />
gordon bennet, ive just read your post again...and its true, every single thing you've said. i think listening to his voice is like music too!! and ohmygod ive started to realize latley that im amazed by everyt little thing he says and im amazed at how he seems to know what to say eveytime he talks me (and my jaw dropped when you put about him being sharp...because thats EXACTLY what ive been thinking latley.) i just cant get my head around it. him. everything. gosh, just everything you said. his sense of humour....im in total awe of him!! i mean yesterday, me and my mate saw him and said hey sir!! and he pasued and looked at the floor and i was like omgwhats wrong? (to myself lol :P) and then he looked up and grinned 'Dot Cotton says helloooo!' and we all burst out laughing and he was still laughing when he got to his room :L. Dot cotton is an old lady from a soap in england ( i thought you might not know coz your from america right? with the freshman year thing :)) i think hes bloody incredible.<br />
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omg. im still freaking out lol! i hope you dont think im too weird! i quickly regestered just so i could reply to you lol! :Lit isnt just all the feelings that you decribed, its the fact that im going :O is coz of the humour you wrote about, how he seems to know what to say, how you blush so easily and you dont notice, how his personality is mindblowing, and i think i dont play the guitar very well, but like you said, im willing to give anything a try and i work really hard to to try and listen when hes explaining something. and i jiust want to impress him.<br />
i want to be the one he thinks, wow shes tried really hard or wow, shes done really well at that. when he takes the time out to play to himself on guitar, like no-ones watching, his fingers work so fast up and down the fretboard...its hypnotic. and sometimes, its like im just falling, his music just fills the room and my ears. theres no-one esle there, its just me and him. and then suddennly he'll look up, right at me. like he knows i was looking right from across the room, right into my eyes. and i bl<x>ink and look away as quick as i can or give a tiny little side smile and my cheeks flush pink. oh god oh god.reply if you'd like, id love to talk to you, if you havent got scared of my crazy comment-ness by now :L x

Crazy how many people are...

oh my god<br />
I totally know how you feel<br />
I am in like the exact same situation

Oh my god, you just spelled out my life to a tee (tea? T? Whatever!) Knots in the stomach are a common problem with me, and I try to push them away but its hard, and weird, and AHHH! I just don't know, its so confusing! And whenever I talk to him, I always mull over the conversation afterwards and think, "I should have said THIS" or "Why did I say THAT?" <br />
Ironically, today he actually said hi to me in the hallway and hearing him say my name and smile made my crappy day transform into a fabulous one. People were looking at me funny in the hallway after he passed because I dare to be I had this huge smile on my face, I was walking on clouds. Yay!...I'm so lame!

hey, you commented on my story so i thought i would read yours. I know how you feel, you just want to spend time with him but not in a sexual way. I always think that I should have said something differently after I talk to my teacher. It is like there is so much I want to say but don't. Just say hey next time you see him. I know how you feel but saying hi helps me. Do you ever feel knots in your stomach after you think about him or talk to him? I do and its so confusing! Well, its cool we have the same feelings and we are not alone.