Unforgotten HistoryThose eyes. How can I be blamed when you have those eyes? They look right through me like you can read my every damn thought. Mention your fiance and my heart rips apart. But I don’t let my smile fall, only falter. Can you tell how I feel? Is that why you mention her name, unwarranted and unwanted? I wish you would just stop looking at me, but at the same time that would kill me. Ha. What a cruel joke. I know this isn’t real, but if feels that way. How can I forget you? I just can’t forgive you. Getting married in June. A date coming too soon. I see you every day, but the feelings don’t fade away. One year and I’m gone. You’ll forget me, but I won’t forget you. You talk of the wrongness of the slave-master relationship and look right at me. Was this a warning, a caution, or an acknowledgment of desire? I wish I didn’t see, couldn’t see. My master. My teacher. Your student. You beg me to take your class next year. It won’t be the same without you. But I have to let go. I hear you talking about her while I’m in the library studying. I stop breathing. My friend looks at me wide-eyed. Are you okay? I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m so damn fine. But it’s not fine. It’s not okay. I see you together and I feel sick to my stomach. I make a promise to forget you. To dream of someone new. But then I walk into the room and it’s just me and you. Oh, untangle me from this messy web. One more year and I’ll leave this all behind, but those eyes will follow me.
UtterChaos 18-21, F 1 Response 2 Feb 23, 2012