Unforgotten History

Those eyes. How can I be blamed when you have those eyes? They look right through me like you can read my every damn thought. Mention your fiance and my heart rips apart. But I don’t let my smile fall, only falter. Can you tell how I feel? Is that why you mention her name, unwarranted and unwanted? I wish you would just stop looking at me, but at the same time that would kill me. Ha. What a cruel joke. I know this isn’t real, but if feels that way. How can I forget you? I just can’t forgive you. Getting married in June. A date coming too soon. I see you every day, but the feelings don’t fade away. One year and I’m gone. You’ll forget me, but I won’t forget you. You talk of the wrongness of the slave-master relationship and look right at me. Was this a warning, a caution, or an acknowledgment of desire? I wish I didn’t see, couldn’t see. My master. My teacher. Your student. You beg me to take your class next year. It won’t be the same without you. But I have to let go. I hear you talking about her while I’m in the library studying. I stop breathing. My friend looks at me wide-eyed. Are you okay? I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m so damn fine. But it’s not fine. It’s not okay. I see you together and I feel sick to my stomach. I make a promise to forget you. To dream of someone new. But then I walk into the room and it’s just me and you. Oh, untangle me from this messy web. One more year and I’ll leave this all behind, but those eyes will follow me.
UtterChaos UtterChaos
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 23, 2012

Beautifuly written story :)<br />
I can relate to you so much but i believe that when you leave eventullay things will get better, you will always remember him and miss him,But I've been in your shoes and i know that even though you will still miss him the pain will go away and you will be happy that he's with someone who loves him and who he loves and you will be happy that he's happy and as hard as it seems to believe you will move on, get your heart broken a few more times and eventually find someone who's perfect for you and who loves you as much or more than you love them, Believe me good things will come your way you just have to stick in thier your first couple weeks or even months without him will be you hardest but things will get better,trust me<br />
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If you need any advice or just someone to talk to feel free to message me<br />
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Best of luck<br />
ppwlover :)

Thank you! I do know that deep down that he loves her and he's happy, and soon I'll be over it. And then I walk into class and forget everything I just thought. Haha. Maybe I'm just an idiot.

Your not an idiot i was went through the same thing as has most of the people in the group,you feel like your over him and you know he's better off without you but as soon as he smiles at you you fall for him all over again,you will gey over him though, eventually don't worry