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Hindsight, Who Would Have It?

I regret so so so much not making more of an effort to talk to him while I was in school. I let my shy, awkward, not very conversational side of me come out way to much, and pushed my lively, funny and friendly side of me as far away from him as possible, and why? All because it was easier for me, saved me embarrassment if I said something a little to pushy to him etc. I wish I was a touch more flirty with him, or more suggestive in the way I spoke to him, I just wish I could see him again then maybe I wouldn't be bombarded by questions I can't ask let alone answer everyday. Oh if only I had a magical power to let me read his mind, the majority of the pain I am feeling comes from the fact I know there was something there, a reluctance from not just me to let me leave his classroom on my last day.. if I knew he felt nothing, I could move onto a happy, guilt free life with my boyfriend.
LastSacrifice LastSacrifice 16-17, F Aug 21, 2012

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