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Love Or Friendship?

I’ve read many stories about other students falling in love with their teachers, so if it might be a comfort to know that you are not alone at all, I would like to share my story with you.

I will never forget the first class from that teacher. Despite him being really a lot older than me, there was an instant connection between us. I cannot describe it any differently than some sort of deep respect for him and the way he is. It was mutual, he couldn’t help noticing me either. Talking to him before and after class gave me a feeling that this went far beyond age, looks or differences, it was unconditional, and we felt equally. It was a mutual feeling of complete trust, like we've known each other for years. I could tell him anything without feeling judged for it, and when I did he showed true interest in me and tried to help. I think that what we had could’ve been called a friendship.

But during his classes he made me feel like I was the only one he was talking to. It was so cute to see him, whenever he made a joke, looking at me to check whether I heard it. He gave me compliments about my intelligence, maturity, looks, and was my reason to do everything I did.
I would be in his class for only this year, and felt myself dying slowly on the inside as the final days of school passed by, knowing that I would never see him again. Then the last day (the one of my oral exam) he told me he would really miss me. That evening I sent him an e-mail explaining that I would like to keep in touch, and he replied that it would be great, he even called me a soul mate.

So now we're still messaging and seeing each other sometimes. I came to talk with him in school (even though it's summer vacation) for two times now, and a few days ago we went for a walk together. He asked me for the second time if I had a boyfriend. Thinking about that would make me feel like I’d be cheating on him, but I kept my answer to a simple "no, I haven't" to avoid the subject. “I’m sorry for being so curious” he then replied. Later on he told me that I was beautiful, but asked if it made me feel uncomfortable when he told me that. He’s careful, and sensitive, but I think (no, I know) he likes me.

I think a true relationship would be impossible though, we would have to hide it forever. He is an amazing man, and I’m thankful for every moment I get to spend with him, but his happiness is far more important to me. I couldn’t give him that the way a woman of his age could. With this attitude I try to show him my friendship while hiding my true feelings for him. It’s not always easy, but I think this is the best solution.
What do you think is the best, a love or friendship relation?
kacelajira kacelajira 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 25, 2012

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In my experience, friendship is the best! Good luck :)

Go for it! There's clearly something there, and that's all that matters. Good luck :)

All the first part you wrote sounds like me and my teacher, Mr.S (read my stories if you wanna know more) but the age gap is a bit much between us. I am nearly 15, in sophmore and he has just turned 23. You should definately make a go of it with him. I know I would. You like him and he seems to like you back - a lot, so what else matters? Forget the risk and go for it. If it's what you both want it'll be worth it. Good luck xxxx

Age is still my biggest worry about all of this, I'm turning 16 in a few months, and he's over 60. I know this sounds sick, that's why I didn't mention it in my story. But I've always fallen for older guys. When I was 14 I had a boyfriend who was 18; and before all this I had one in mid-twenties (not my teacher though). I don't see why this could make so much of a difference. I feel like older people actually have something to talk about, they have life wisdom that I haven't and it's far more interesting than going out with little boys, who are my age. Anyway, that's why I wrote that this goes beyond age etc. he once said to me: "when I talk to you I keep on forgetting that you're only 15". And I think he's right, also in your case, age can't be a stop-sign if you really like eachother :) Well, if next time I see him, he's still giving these signs I might give it a try. Good luck for you as well!

I know it sounds stupid, but age is nothing but a number. I agree that I don't like going out with guys my own age coz they're very immature. Right now I like someone who is 17 - and I know that's not much of a difference but still. Age means nothing, I wish you all the best and yeahh thank you too :) xxx