Love Or Friendship?I’ve read many stories about other students falling in love with their teachers, so if it might be a comfort to know that you are not alone at all, I would like to share my story with you.
I will never forget the first class from that teacher. Despite him being really a lot older than me, there was an instant connection between us. I cannot describe it any differently than some sort of deep respect for him and the way he is. It was mutual, he couldn’t help noticing me either. Talking to him before and after class gave me a feeling that this went far beyond age, looks or differences, it was unconditional, and we felt equally. It was a mutual feeling of complete trust, like we've known each other for years. I could tell him anything without feeling judged for it, and when I did he showed true interest in me and tried to help. I think that what we had could’ve been called a friendship.
But during his classes he made me feel like I was the only one he was talking to. It was so cute to see him, whenever he made a joke, looking at me to check whether I heard it. He gave me compliments about my intelligence, maturity, looks, and was my reason to do everything I did.
I would be in his class for only this year, and felt myself dying slowly on the inside as the final days of school passed by, knowing that I would never see him again. Then the last day (the one of my oral exam) he told me he would really miss me. That evening I sent him an e-mail explaining that I would like to keep in touch, and he replied that it would be great, he even called me a soul mate.
So now we're still messaging and seeing each other sometimes. I came to talk with him in school (even though it's summer vacation) for two times now, and a few days ago we went for a walk together. He asked me for the second time if I had a boyfriend. Thinking about that would make me feel like I’d be cheating on him, but I kept my answer to a simple "no, I haven't" to avoid the subject. “I’m sorry for being so curious” he then replied. Later on he told me that I was beautiful, but asked if it made me feel uncomfortable when he told me that. He’s careful, and sensitive, but I think (no, I know) he likes me.
I think a true relationship would be impossible though, we would have to hide it forever. He is an amazing man, and I’m thankful for every moment I get to spend with him, but his happiness is far more important to me. I couldn’t give him that the way a woman of his age could. With this attitude I try to show him my friendship while hiding my true feelings for him. It’s not always easy, but I think this is the best solution.
What do you think is the best, a love or friendship relation?
kacelajira 16-17, F 3 Responses 2 Aug 25, 2012