Love Blooms From Hate.. Or Dislikeness

I am writing this post because I don't have a diary that I can keep on writing everyday. I know it just needs paper and a pen, but diary is meant to be kept for myself. I've been keeping all these feels and memories in my head that I am afraid to lose them someday. So with this, I write, in hope to preserve what's been done. I may not finish all my memories in a post, but I'll continue and write what I can in a post. Thanks for picking my story :)

I do have this feeling of attraction towards people older than me. I guess it's because of my family problem, so I have less turn on to people around my age.
So, I knew him 3 years ago when I was in 7th grade. He taught me science, like in general science. I've always hated science, up to now though hehe At first, I dislike him because he's that kind of teacher who tried so hard to make the class fun, but eventually, failed. And yeah, he gave a LOT of homeworks too.
I remembered he held a some kind of hearing test. So we had to draw whatever it was he said. He started to say "draw a square, a small rectangle on the bottom of the square and a triangle above the square," I drew the square and a rectangle inside and left a gap to drew the triangle. Then I realized it was a house, actually. So I erased the gap and connected lines to the square. He saw me doing that and he called me to stand up. He didn't know my name before, so he called me "little girl," And so, I presented my work to everyone. That was our first interaction I can remember so far.
The following days, he still can't remember our names and whenever I answered his questions, he would still call me "little girl". Until finally, he asked us to give him a picture of our face (-_-) and make an ID card with it. He said it helped him remember and I thought, "bullshit" ha! When he still couldn't remember, he asked us to compare ourselves with an object in the classroom that best represents us. I took a pencil case and it was so awkward when I stand in class and present it. Well as time passed, he would call on my name to answer his questions and I'd be delighted to answer. And when he asked questions, I would raise my hand and just answer. I started reading the science book and study harder for the science test, in hope to impress him. Sometimes, I tried to be curious and just ask him questions about science or the topic he was teaching.
It reached to the point when it was his birthday. I forgot how I knew, but I knew anyway hehe. He was not my homeroom teacher, but he was the next class'. Anyway he taught us, so my class decided to do something for him. We wrote "Happy Birthday" in different languages on a big paper. When it was his class, I held the paper up high and the whole class screamed Happy Birthday! He was smiling really wide and laughed, which made me happy. Well his homeroom class made a better surprise by giving him a prank, but it was the best my class could think of.

It was nearing December when I finally asked what his facebook was. He answered, "just find it yourself first," and gave a small smile. It took me two months later to finally found out what his fb was, after I asked him again. Now this is one of the part I still can't believe. We had a trip, the whole badge, to a certain place outside the city. When we got back to school the following days, my homeroom teacher asked if I could help make an exhibition for the trip and I said yes. That night, I called my homeroom teacher to ask about some things that I don't understand (and sometimes we even end up talking nonsense, because we are really close). Nearing the end of the conversation, she told me about that teacher I like. At this point, though, she had not know I like him,
Me: "Why did you chose me to help decorate anyway?" :
HT: "It wasn't me! I asked Q (the teacher's name, just an alias) because he is the one in charge."
Me: "... Q?"
HT: "Yeap. I asked him to be in charge and when I asked him who could help him, he directly say your name. And when I asked another student's name, he was thinking of another name for a very long time. Until I finally suggested a name,"
Me: Ooo... kay

That was one of the best memories in my head, knowing that he picked me. Strange though I thought he felt the same...
coldfray coldfray
13-15
Dec 9, 2012