My Unborn BabyMy Unborn Baby!!!
scrawled by Hannah Sabata on t' date o' Tew's Day, Februarrry 15, 2011 roundabouts 8:28 in the evenin'
let me start out by saying the shift and delete button aren't working properly so i apologize about the misspellings and bad grammar ;9 i can't go back lol
but i love my baby sooo much....i know i've been posting a whole bunch about my baby but i'm so excited.
i was so sure the baby was dead because i had excrutiating cramping and a little bit of bleeding a couple days ago.
i got expecially scared when they couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler today. they had to take me to the hospital and do an ultrasound on me. well, i was crying. crying hard. bawling....
i didn't want to look at my unborn baby on the screen when the o.b. lady put the magical baby looker-atter on my belly. i thought it would be floating around, dead.
but nope 1exclaimation point1, the baby was big and moving around 1exclaimation point1. by the way, i am 12 weeks along right now. it did a summer-salt and my mother gasped. it would not stop moving around, literally. it has a beautiful face, i saw it. it has a big forhead, lol and a small chin. i saw its brain, too! hey, my shift button worked for once! twice1 1.
i don't know why but i already love this thing. how can you love something you don't know/question mark/ and i realized i've never loved anything so much in my life before. all the pain and sickness i have is so worth this baby. i even catch myself singing to it. and if you know me, you know i never sing in front of anyone. .... ever.... this love is very weird. its overwhelming. i feel sooo happy. the love is so strong, i can see, smell it, feel it, taste it. i can't hear it though, lol ;winky face; i'm usually so depressed cuz my life sucks so bad, don't disagree because if you lived what i lived through, i guarantee you'd be traumatized; but anyway, i actually skipped down the road when i sent my letter to my husband in jail! skipped! and i only looked down at the ground a couple times to make sure there was no ice i'd slip on.
i am so lucky to have a loving husband that will literally do anything for me and who practically worships the ground i walk on---i don't know why, i'm not that great, lol---in all caps and have a healthy baby on the way. i need to think about those two good things in my life more often and maybe my head will lift once in a while.
february 15th 2011 12 weeks, 3 days. hannah smotherman-sabata