0- 3 Now

Thrice married, never divorced.
#1 left me, for I was an angry unhappy drunk..then died in an auto crash 8 years later. I never shed a sad tear. Complete lie, I missed her, and I wept like a child when she left.
#2 made me into a better man, sobered me up, loved me all her life, died of breast cancer run wild. I crawled into a hole, and hid for 7 months, barely emerging into the light of day. Her's was a life of pain, fear and suffering, and I brought her a little share of it, but I also brought her love and joy, So much so that she dragged herself back to consciousness, 30 hours after her liver died, dragged herself back, shoved off her nose mask, and touched my hands as I tried to put it back. I understood. She was trying to grab my hands, trying to tell me to listen. I came close, and she spoke for one last time.

"Lub ooo. Lub ooo. Lub oo. Lub ooo. Lof yooo. Lof Ooo." I knew how to translate. I answered back. "love you too babe. Love you forever. Love you. Love you..." and she answered " Drag ooo muge beer, gadd sleeb now". I said " Sleep now, my love.
Quoth my raven nevermore.

#3 took over the job, made me get up, dust myself off, and fall in love again. She made me laugh, even at myself. She made me smile again. She made me happy to be alive.
She got me back to school, made me WORK at it, made me proud again...and died, all at once, on her birthday.
I called the mortuary exactly 2 months ago Friday next.
All I have left are some memories, old photos, and the taste of her lips, not yet forgotten.
bitlord bitlord
51-55
17 Responses Jul 20, 2010

I'm sooooo sorry. :( Hang in there. You were blessed to have met all three women -- now you have to live on for them.

Wow,You have truly been thru the wringer.I began to understand You a bit better.Were in the same age group,I to have been married 3 times.I have The Knight In Armor complex,It seems all my great loves loved Me as long as they needed Me.At least You have been loved in return.
I hope You can find comfort in that.

Yeah, I do. Awfully tired of burying them though.

Everything happens for a reason.

Possibly. No, wait, meteor collisions that exterminate species don't happen for a reason.

Wow, great story.

Great? Yes, it was great to have those loves. Story? not in the sense of being false, though of course my memories are colored by my emotions. Still, I miss them, I love them, I hang on.

Thanks, but truth be told, I've shed enough of those for myself.<br />
Smile, instead, and share it with the one that YOU hope will say "Love you" as the lights go out forever.

:'(

I loved. I hope to love again. Right now, I have trouble getting out of bed. My memories seem to hold all my joy.<br />
Perhaps, one day, my eyes will behold joy again.<br />
Until then, thank you all

To have a chance like that is wonderfull even if the ending was sad, in each case. Most men never even have once. Count your blessings and know yur a good person, that these wonderful woman loved! Rejoice in your sorrows!

you ve lived more than a lifetime could offer you... i know you must be sad, but yes your right most men could cut their arm what you had thrice....i am sorry for your loss though

Yes, like I said,how can I be sad?<br />
Yet I am.<br />
Thanks for the note.

Wow I am so sorry. Most men don't know how to let a woman love them and guide them to a better self but you have done it twice. I know you are sad but remember that you have had something very special and feelings that precious never die.

I'm sorry for you snooky, but don't let them do it to you.<br />
<br />
Thank you so much autimom. Memories aren't much, but in the end, they are all we really leave. Everything else passes away, like smoke from a fire, or steam from a coffee cup.<br />
Like ashes after the first rain.

Cold comfort, my friend. Cold comfort.

Cold comfort, my friend. Cold comfort.

I'm sorry for you loss. My mother died July 1st. My family lays the blame on me because I left Alabama to get an educate myself and marry the woman that I love.

Sadly, I am sad too, and Nancy wouldn't stand for me feeling sorry for myself.<br />
But I have known heart's love twice. How can I be sad when I have had a gift that most men would cut off an arm to have even once?<br />
Yet I am.

I am so, so sorry you must endure such loss. I'm so sad for you.