A Real Person

I always thought I was a kind of crazy shadow or ghost belonging to the dark side.  Not the dark side as in Star Wars but the dark side of life.  While growing up and in my early adult years I had very few days when I felt balanced and happy.  I thought I was going to remain in the dark hole I was in forever.  In fact I saw my life as full of dark holes. 

I wasn't meant to be moody and depressed all the time. I wasn't meant to live in a dark hole.  I wasn't meant to feel like I had no substance.  I didn't know what I was meant to be or do. 

I had to give up the dark thoughts, choose different behaviors and change my attitude.  It's a lot of work to make yourself anew which was required for me to change and learn to love myself.  I am a real person not a shadow or ghost.  I have real feelings.  I can influence the world around me.  I can choose to do things differently no matter how long I have been following the same path.  

It takes a great amount of energy to change how you think and feel about yourself.  In the long run it takes a lot more energy to stay in a hole on the darkside. 

rubyetuesday rubyetuesday
61-65, F
1 Response May 4, 2012

Too true farm guy sometimes I have to get my path out in the open so I can see it and act on it.