Wicked Endeavor

For the longest time, I have had this fascination for pain. Burn, cuts, ect. I secretly indulge in this ancient delicacy. I don't like for people to see my scars(mainly because they ask "whats that from?") thus leading to a barriage of questions, to which, i usually don't like explaining. I do it, because its a form of meditation to me. *Explaination-The exact moment you feel pain (from cuts, burns, ect), if you focus on it hard enough, i have found that you have "An out of body experience". The longer i can focus...the longer i can leave the world behind. This took me a long time to master. (10 years or more) I have many scars from my early years into masochism. Now, i find it very easy to "meditate" for well over 30 minutes, from a single wound. Its not something i am proud of, and then again, i don't shame myself because of it either. Several times i have attempted to explain this to people, and they can't seem to understand the concept. I will admit, its NOT FOR EVERYBODY! Most people live their lives in fear of pain, and run from it. I don't encourage what it do, and i also don't condemn it either. If you grasp my concept, then chances are you already indulge in this passion of mine. If you don't grasp the concept, then chances are great that you never will. From my experiences, most people won't try my form of meditation because they feel that their friends and family will label them as "a freak", "sinister", "metally ill", or "suicidal". I am none of the above. In certain clothes, on the street, you would never suspect me of being a masochist. I am educated, have my B.A. in culinary arts, hold a very respectable job as a chef, and am financally stable. I have no desires to commit suicide,however, homicide has crossed my mind MANY O TIMES ! Just Kidding! I am writing this in hopes or reaching out and finding others like me to deliver the message...."YOU ARE NOT ALONE". So reply back. Maybe theres more of us than i have ever imagined!
MA3OXNCT MA3OXNCT
31-35, M
5 Responses Aug 21, 2007

check this blog this guy got cured from masochist behavior http://wp.me/p46khh-8

I like your honesty.

Not into cutting, but I "discovered" an interest in pain at an early age. When we were about 14 yo my best mate & I used to <br />
<br />
slap each other on the thighs with a rular or slippers as hard as we could to see who would wuss out <br />
<br />
first & who was toughest. We once got up to 100 strokes each before we called it quits. Our thighs <br />
<br />
were red hot & smarting but it was a real turn on for both of us to test our pain threshold in that way. <br />
<br />
Since then Ive experienced several long hard whippings as a method of learning self mastery & <br />
<br />
stoicisam. I learnt to cope with the pain not by ignoring it or mentally running away but by conciously <br />
<br />
feeling it & examining it so that it looses its fear factor.<br />
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Also I live nip clamps - I set a beeper for 15 mins - lie on the floor - meditate & relax first - then after <br />
<br />
the 1st 15 mins I reset the beeper - put on tight croc clip nip clamps - very painful - then meditate again <br />
<br />
on the pain - I endure the pain - I embrace the pain - I feel the pain - but dont wuss out or remove them <br />
<br />
till the beeper sounds after 15 mins.<br />
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I'm now 23. I take daily cold baths, swim in the icy lake in winter & I'm into pain endurane & stoicisam <br />
<br />
as a test of character & MANHOOD - & these are one of several ways I test myself. <br />
<br />
A more common interest is wearing shorts even in the snow & ice Also I have a fetish about men with <br />
<br />
smart rolled up sleeves, sort of action man look! I Allways roll up my own. Anyone else? I've been into <br />
<br />
rolling up my sleeves since about 8 yo. I never wear short sleeved shirts, just longs with the sleeves up. <br />
<br />
I think it looks sexy & athletic. <br />
<br />
All are fettishes I guess, but am I alone? <br />
<br />
Paul

I've been wanting to do a suspension for this reason. Pain comes my way more often than pleasure does... so I've been learning bit by bit to embrace it, to enjoy it, to make a friend of pain. Thanks for sharing!

i used to cut also, more out of depression than anything. i also enjoyed being able to momentarily escape my current situation through pain although i never achieved the level of meditation you speak of. is your masochism sexual at all? i've recently become an emotional masochist and it's bothering me alot. i am also a sex addict so as much as i crave sex i also crave pain and humiliation. i feel like my masochism is getting out of hand, because i cave sex so much but in order to be gratified i must get hurt in the process. this leaves me with little self esteem and depressed. how do you come to terms with being a masochist? is there any way to stop or replace it with some other equally gratifying behavior?