Ollie And Lena Jokes/ Ollie And Sven Jokes

My Dad loved Prairie Home Companion. My only memories of it are the Ollie and Lena jokes. If you can remember any really funny ones-post them.

The Boat

Sven and Ole go fishing. It’s such a great day, they rent a boat so they can fish from the middle of the lake. They row out, drop their lines, and before you know it, they're catching fish, one after another after another. They can’t believe what a great fishing spot they found.
Sven says, “This is the best fishing spot in the county. It’s just too bad we didn’t bring some paint.”
Ole asks, “Paint? Why should you want paint, to go fishing?”
“Well Ole, don’t you see, so we can paint an “X” in the bottom of the boat, so we can find this spot next time.”
Ole laughs at him. “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! Next time, what if they give us a different boat?”

Parking the Car in the Winter time

Ole and Lena was at the kitchen table for the usual morning cup of coffee and listening to a weather report coming from the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. All vehicles should be parked on the odd-numbered side of the streets today to facilitate snowplows," the radio voice declared.
"Oh, gosh, OK," said Ole, getting up, bundling up and heading outside to dutifully put his car on the odd-numbered side of the street.
Two days later, Ole and Lena were at morning coffee when the radio voice said:
"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your vehicles on the even-numbered side of the streets."
Ole got up from his coffee as before. He bundled up, shuffled off, and put his car on the even-numbered side of the street.
A few days later, the couple was at the table when the radio voice declared:
"There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the ..." Just then, the power went out.
"Park it where?" Ole asked in the dark, "What should I do?"
"Aw, to heck with them, Ole," Lena said, "Don't worry about it today. Just leave the car in the garage."
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26-30
Dec 6, 2012