Stoner Girlfriend

I recently met this young guy who is presently attending college.  We hit it off and started talking about realtionships.  I'm married and was telling him a bit about my husband.  He said his parents (even though he's just 24) were constantly onto him about his love life.  (He's a Veterinary Student, works full time and although a really cute and nice guy said he did'nt have much time for dating much less a serious relationship.  He said his parents were so picky anyway.  They want him to find a really (nice) girl.  Well.... somehow we started talking about how funny it would be to play a prank on them and we actually planned it.

He told his parents that he had met the woman of his dreams and wanted them to meet her (which was actually me) at a local, very expensive, upper class restaurant.  They wanted details and he told him it was love at 1st sight. In fact he said he was so in love he was thinking about proposing. He said he really hoped they would like me. Well.......

Here's what we planned.  He said his parents (esp his mom) was a kind of prim and proper type lady who hated cigarette smoking, drinking, foul language, drugs, piercings,  etc.  She had actually stated that marijuana was Satan himself in disguise out to ruin people's lives.   He also said she hated people to be late for anything.  So......... we arranged the time.  He told his parents that I would have to meet them there instead of arriving with him.  ......

I have really long hair that I  take care of well, however I used some gel, kinda messed it up, parted in in the middle and put a bit of Hot oil treatment in the part (looked like I had'nt really washed in several days.  I found a shirt at the mall with a huge pot leaf on the front which on the back said "  Lets all unite!  Legalize the herb!!  I wore a pair of old jeans that I had actually destroyed getting thrown off a horse.  A pocket was hanging loose.  and there was a rip right down the butt.  I wore a pair of boxers underneath that had" F You across the back ( It was very visible.) I wore a pair of my daughters old converse high tops that she was going to throw away and I wrote "Go to Hell" with a black sharpie on the side of both shoes.  I wore no makeup whatsoever.  I borrowed a bra from a friend ( I weigh 115 lbs, I'm 5'5 and don't have much when it comes to boobs, however I put on this bra, (a D cup) and stuffed it to the max with foam. My daughter helped me devise a fake nose ring, and a tongue ring ( a cube like thing with a pot leave on it.  I also cut the shirt so my stomach would show and wore a fake belly button ring with yet another pot leaf on it.  Now I have a real tattoo which is a small wolf  howling at the moon  but it happen to be in a place that my huge fake boobs hid it.  My son however who is an exc artist used a sharpie and drew a huge grim reaper down the length of one arm and on the other drew a little red devil holding up a pitchfork that said "I'm Hot S--T.  He also drew 2 little pitchforks on my stomach with the words "HOT MAMA"  Ok, I was laughing  so hard by this time I did'nt know if I could do this.  I Put on a pair on dark, dark sunglasses and headed out, with my kids who were going to sit nearby at another table with a good friend of mine.  My husband failed to find too much humor in this so he did'nt go.  I arrived promptly 15 min late which actually turned into about 30 min because they weren't going to let me in. I had to explain the whole situation to the manager, who thankfully had a great sense of humor and actually agreed to help.  He escorted me to my waiting soulmate and his parents.  My guy stood up and gave me a huge hug and said "This is my girlfriend Daisy" Her real name is _____ but she's a  flower child so I nicknamed her that.  Is'nt she cute??? Well, ..... his mom looked at me and then him and said not one word. His dad looked sort of amused but said nothing.  Well for the next 20 minutes or so it was pretty hilarious. I talked non stop, using a bit of foul language and started every sentence with "Dude" We acted "so in love" . Like you know,  where its kind of sickening. I told him quietly but where they could hear that I was pretty high.  Told him I was late because I ran across some killer weed.I coul'nt pass up.  and said " Damn, i have the munchies. His mother asked me if I was a student like her son and I said No, man. I f-cking hate school !  But I do have a job. In entertainment.  She did'nt even ask what kind of entertainment. I tried to act a little "messed up" the whole time. I even quoted a well known Bob Marley saying about marijuana.  I  started calling them Mom and Daddy-O.  and told them they were totally cool people for having such a great son.  I winked at my sweetie and told them he was great in ways "that Might make them blush. He looked at me adoringly the whole time.. He must have praticed this because he acted this out perfectly.  He would look at his mom in this way that basically said" Please try to understand, almost like pleading for her approval.  Ok, he's 24 and he told them I was 29.  I suppose they believed it which kinda made my day (I'm 37, 36 at the time).  I told them had 4 kids but wanted more.  Me and my guy looked at each other.  and I said quietly to him, but where they of course could hear. " Your such a sex machine I bet weve already got one on the way. He smiled and rubbed my tattooed pierced belly and said "I bet if we don't already it won't be long.  His mom looked really distressed and abruptly got up and said she had to go home that she was feeling a bit ill.  His dad continued to sit there looking a bit amused. 

Okay i felt like it was time to tell them it was a joke.  So my sweetie " said with such a straight face I could'nt help but laugh.  " Mom you can't go yet because I have to tell you something.  I've just played the best prank on you of all time.  And you too dad.  His dad busted out laughing. (He said he suspected it was a joke) His mom looked at us like we were crazy,. stood there a minute, sat back down and said " Son, your still not too old for me to give you the worst butt busting of your life.  She actually started laughing so hard that her eye makeup was running down her face.    

We still keep in touch.  I just went l to an engagement party last week. My sweetie actually met my friends daughter who was there sitting with my daugter and son and her mother.  She's 20 and in her 2nd year of college.  She wants to be a pediatrician.  They actually exchanged phone numbers that same night. 7 months later he proposed.  And his mother approves....   and Yes I still love pranks!!!

Roxiegirl Roxiegirl
36-40, F
3 Responses Aug 27, 2008

Super interesting story you wrote there i ADORE pranks like that couldnt wait to know his moms reaction LOL yeh pot really is the devil undercover...right, you made me laugh thanks!!

kind of long

that was FANTASTIC!!!