Do I Need To Lower My Expectations?

There must be just hundreds of you that could relate. You understand your spouse has no interest in intimacy but yet you still remain hopeful. For days and weeks at a time you try to peel away anything that remotely seems like pressure for sex. You never make overtures because the rejection you feel can be overwhelming. But you feel like you are living a lie while hiding your true feelings. This is the way I feel nearly every day.

I have a terrible feeling that this will never change. I find myself imagining making love to my husband and our life has renewed some passion. If only he would respond to my touch instead of pretending I'm not even in the same room. I wonder all the time how can he not feel these same desires? It's like he doesn't know I exist anymore.

I have read stories and it had made me think that he isn't this way on purpose. I'm not suppose to take his indifference personally. How do you not take it personally? I need to know. We no longer talk about it because it doesn't help. It's not a problem for him.... The thought just doesn't occur to him. But I love him enough to endure this over and over and over.
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26-30
5 Responses May 17, 2012

You shouldn't be in a situation where you are in a position of constant misery, myself being a male, I would tend to believe this man has someone else! I think you should make this man either realize what he's doing to you or go to the other woman! You should be having the time of your life at your age! Not waalking on eggshells and hiding the real you at the expense of him not liking the situation!

never settle, keep your expectations high baby

OMG I knew I wasn't alone in this. I've been really thinking the same thing this past couple weeks. Really questioning myself as to why I stay and why I'm here in this relationship.

As all the other gents have mentioned, there has to be something wrong with him if he does not want to have sex with you or he's gay. Any guy would want to sleep with someone as gorgeous as you. You deserve to get what you want and not having sex is not fun at all but you need to work on communication with him better before you join any other EP groups like Ï'm having an affair" etc...<br />
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Tell him you need intimacy, sex and romance. See what he says. You could start the physical contact yourself ie. Before he wakes up, go under the sheets and give him an early morning bj and see how he responds. Guy's like sex in the morning or you could spike his drinks with viagra or ejaculoid, he will have to find relief from somewhere ;)

Somtimes love just isn't enough, emotional intimacey, a thought, a touch, The thought will occur to him...to late. Does he low testerone? Low T causes depression too..read up on it..if it was that he can go on needles, forget the gel..or they say the pellets are good..either lucious it certainly isn't you and if he naieve to think that you can be happy in sexless marriage, then he is fool..if he does have low T and gets treatments you will surley see an improvement..I hope for you its truly that simple...