What Is A Real Man?

Hmm... What is a real man? What is a real woman?

A lot of people seem to think that being a real man or woman means following the cut and dried rules for gender stereotypes. For them, a real man is one who goes out to earn the bread and kill the bears that threaten his family. And a real woman is always pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. These notions are (most often propagated by the MGTOW men, whom I find offensive, ignorant, bitter and uncouth to say the least) equally damaging to both men and to women - after all, the man who shoots the bears often comes home drunk, having lost all his money gambling in the local pub, only to take out his rage on his wife, right in front of the children. The woman who is pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen is (obviously) ill-equipped to teach or play with her existing children and becomes a sad, bitter, practically single mom. To bring back some control in her life, she will nag her husband, only to be beaten up soundly for doing so. And after all, can a man be truly free if he has to come home to a sad, embittered, uneducated woman, who has no control over her life?

For me, a real man is one who, while performing all the traditional masculine roles, has fully integrated the feminine aspect into his personality. He can chop lumber but can also cook up a great dinner. To his children, he can be both father and mother.

A real woman, similarly, is somebody who is essentially feminine, but can take care of herself and her family like a man. She can do great embroidery, and can also trade share certificates. To her kids, she is both mom and dad - she can take them camping (alone if necessary) and can also sing a lullaby.

cameronr cameronr
18-21, F
10 Responses Feb 5, 2012

It's a shame more people don't follow your line of thinking. I imagine the divorce rate would be much much lower. Thank you for articulating that which has been bouncing around inside my head for years. Lol

I don’t think you described real. You described perfect. I would describe real as one who strives for your ideal but knows their shortcomings and works with their partner to fill in the gaps (both ways).

Aah... I totally admit the correction! I'm so glad you pointed that out.

Just in one word.


No no no, thank YOU! Really....It makes me feel very happy to see such views appreciated. 50/50 is the ONLY fair and genuine way to treat man and women. I have yet to find a SINGLE proper argument to the contrary that can hold against my own. To see others fight for that makes me feel...not only happy...but less alone and more understood.

Same here... :-))

What I would like to share about your story is that I can also see a proper way in balancing each other out. Being co-dependant may not be the healthiest in the DRM but it is a fine way to share views. When people find a good way to live with each other and together why not manage your best abilties to be up front. If you're better at a lullaby or better at hiding at the desk crunching the numbers, it only makes sense to do so...this need to have this labeled under a role for a man or a woman makes no sense in this. Make the best of what you have really...

1 More Response

i agree

you dont define a REAL man as someone who is married - a real man follows their morals and they stand up for what they believe in and they don't let anyone define the way they should look talk or act - they are not someone who has big muscles and saves the woman, he is a good person who does what is right - it has nothing to do with his sexuality, how masculine he is or anything like that just someone who accepts responsibility for their actions and steps up to the plate when they are needed.

Absolutely! Both men and women have every right to choose whether to stay married/single/childless/homemakers/breadwinners etc., without having their manhood/womanhood called into question.

I agree with you

You are a smart wonderul person.

Wow - extremely well put - nice story

Whether man or women , their good qualities should be visible and growing in a steady stream. <br />
What are you talking about is imposed imbalance due to culture , religion and narrow-minded limitations not seeing everyone as equal

I enjoyed this story and I agree!