Most Frivolous Lawsuits

VERMONT---I’m a lawyer. There I said it. I know this comes with a stigma and a great amount of jokes. It comes with the business and I have never minded poking fun at myself. But the truth of the matter is, we are needed in this society and for the millions of jokes you can tell me, there are millions of situations I can tell you about people just like you that have put me in. These are the most frivolous lawsuits I have ever heard of and despite what you think; there are even some lawyers that said no to some of these.

Man tries to sue his dog for challenging his masculinity. This man, I will call Poindexter for this article, felt that when his dog growled at him and he flinched it made his children and wife look down on him. He claims the dog, who he loved, scared the crap out of him at times and made feel second place in the house. He was seeking damages that included money and the dog being boarded outdoors. How he planned to collect was unknown.

Woman sues her parents for not being attractive enough. She cited in the lawsuit that when two ugly parents get together they should expect an ugly baby. Believe it or not, I have seen this lawsuit and several offshoots on it many times.

Woman sues dentist for making teeth too bright. According to this lawsuit, Chelsea King of New York filed papers because on several occasions when she awoke and turned on the bathroom light, the glare from the teeth caused temporary blindness. A lawyer actually took this case and was awarded a refund of actions taken.

Woman sues a car company for making cars that are only shaped as male genitals. Taking the whole mid-life crisis thing to the next level, and believing that that middle aged man’s corvette was not just a symbol but an actual depiction, Margaret Spencer demanded the car company design a car with an empty center in order to help her gender cope with aging and show their goods. No one took the case.

A boy in Wisconsin called the law offices of Wells and Wells trying to sue his online gaming team for constantly using his character as a decoy during their campaigns on the newest Call to Duty. This boy says he is constantly being told fake plans by his teammates who have conspired to have him killed off. This boy told the lawyer “They tell me to go East and we’d attack, but they always wait for me to go first then go West while the bad guys follow me. Every time!”

Burglar tries to file suit against a family for food poisoning. Greg Marks broke into a home in Round Lake Illinois only to find himself hungry. During the robbery, Marks came across a sandwich in the fridge. Being an idiot, Marks ate the sandwich as he stashed his goods. Police came finding the evidence in his bad and all over his mustache. Later, in prison, Marks developed a severe case of food poisoning and contacted a lawyer to sue his victims.

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ricknaub ricknaub
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

hahaha. Wow, and here I am wondering what to do about being misdiagnosed and given chemo, which caused me to need a transplant? Online consults all say yes, but hurry. I am just lagging due to being so sick all the time...and dont know if I can handle all the issues that might come along with a long drawn out suit, but I cannot afford my transplant and if I am entitled then I guess its worth looking into. These suits made me laugh, and give me hope that maybe the other lawyers suggestions were right. lol