Good In Bed.


there’s an old wives’ tale that goes around every now & then about how men think about sex every seven seconds. now, i’m not sure how old wives research their theories (i imagine a group of elderly ladies prodding a lone male, going, “are you thinking about sex? are you thinking about sex? c’mon! you’re totally thinking about sex!”) but common sense would tend to indicate this is, pretty much, crap. how can guys get on with their day with constant thoughts of rooting going through their brains? how can they fly planes? make presentations? tie their shoe laces? so i’m not really sure the old wives institute for really scientific stuff had it right on that one. sorry, ladies.

but pick up practically any lady mag these days (the kind that tries to sell you bikinis, rather than the women in them), & you’d be forgiven for getting the idea that the female of the species pretty much thinks with her crotch all day long. cover lines promising insane amounts of ways to ****** (isn’t one enough?), pervy, voyeuristic tales about other people’s fantasies, other people’s hang-ups, other people’s uncomfortable, burning sensations. far too many sex in the city references (yes, you’re a charlotte - now please stop), & articles on spicing up your sex life that somehow leave you feeling that unless you’re rigged up in a gimp mask & vanilla-scented strap-on while contorting your way through two-thirds of the kama sutra, you’re doing it wrong.

whether it’s instructional diagrams of “new”, suspiciously porny-sounding sex positions (“this month - the reverse underage runaway cowgirl, with a twist!”), insultingly obvious advice (“surprise - men like boobs!”) or embarrassing “real life” sex stories (“i got pissed & screwed someone i shouldn’t have!”), ******* for dummies is being served up in monthly instalments on newsstands across the nation.

which is all very snigger-worthy, it’s true. but underneath the dumb, number-obsessed headlines & cringey illustrations, something else is going on. sex is being sold as a skill, like cricket or microsoft exel: something we need to bone up on (sorry), study, achieve, impress. a commodity that makes us more marketable while we show off our a-grade blow-job techniques, our portfolio of positions. we need to be coached by “sexperts”, doctors, **** stars, prostitutes. somehow we’ve reduced modern ******* to a stilted, anxiety-driven display of inserting tab a into slot b, then worrying whether or not our bum looks big. which is about as sexy as an ikea instruction card. & not nearly as fun or interactive.

but lady mags didn’t invent sex. neither did the baby boomers. not even charles darwin. we wouldn’t be here today if hundreds of generations worth of our ancestors weren’t good in the sack. once you get the basic birds & bees down, whatever way you want to do it is the right way - it’s not rocket science, unless you’re acting out some particularly interesting kinks. the only person you need to listen to is you, & the person you’re in bed with (or people, i won’t judge).

those old wives & their tales. they love to give advice. so do most magazines. but when it comes to what goes on in the bedroom, i say slam the door fast, shove your fingers in your ears & chant “nah nah nah” until they go away. i’m an adult. the person i’m with is an adult. we can work it out for ourselves. & if we can’t, there’s always wikipedia. to twist the words of rage against the machine, “**** you i won’t **** how you tell me”. good night & good luck.
blehtolife blehtolife 22-25, F 59 Responses Mar 25, 2012

Your Response



Well said...

Damn...I LIKE you.

That is soooooo HOT!!! Would you please add me...

Wow! I would give you a 100 scores on this story in your way in handling all about making love or having sex was a great way in writing all and hell as people should try to enjoy each other company more...and for real thnaks for sharing as love your way in thinking :).Take care and wish you the best always.

Perhaps I don't think of sex every seven seconds, but I am 70 now, it is still quite dominant in my mind and one of the reasons I joined Experience Project. I honestly can't recall who suggested it to me but I wish to publicly acknowledge my thanks. This site has been a revelation, there are certain "fetishes", practices, which are not to my liking but I try to keep away from those stories if I can tell what they are going to be about.

On the whole EP has been good for me even if I am not a seven second man. ( I know, "You lasted that long, I thought it was wham bam thank you ma'am")

Thanks for taking up the case... couldn't agree more to your views...

I like this woman.
You go girl.

^^^^ 30 year old virgin! No I don't believe in God. I am not gay. I am relatively attractive and in great shape. I am not insecure about my size. I am not shy. I have a degree in biology and a great job! I have always looked at the culture of dating with a fair amount of disdain here in the U.S. People treat relationships as a form of entertainment and then wonder why their lives are so ****** up! Most have gotten so used to behaving how society expects that they have no concept of what they truly want for themselves.

This was a mighty fine read. You definitely have an Anne Landers quality to your work. I often joke to ,y wife about the cosmo sitting on the stand and she gives me her unique eye roll. Well written and keep at it!

LOL!... I just read this again and enjoyed it just as much as the first time. Bleh ROCKS! :D

Big smile....not that I peruse many lady-mags, or suscribe to the various (nefarious?) techniques described within, however you definitely put a smile on my face! Well written and rather humourous!

<< not saying in the best in bed but been told a many of times that i definitely knows that i;am doing & can say that in order to be good ,you got to Like like what your Doing :) <<

Great story, and I couldn't agree with you more. The thing I sometimes find distressing is that women's magazines are often telling us new and better ways to be sexy, get sex, and have sex, while men's magazines seem to focus more on what they like and why, and how to get it. As a result women's magazines can make women feel insecure because they can cause a woman to feel she constantly needs to be improving herself because she isn't good enough, while men's magazines make them feel secure and confident because just focusing on what they like and why causes them to feel that what they do and how they do it is just fine as long as it works for them.

Well that was an ear full. If you and he like it, then your doing it right. My husband in bed with men says an adolescent boy does think about sex all day. Thank God for sports and Boy Scouts that helped him think about more than sex. Mid life crises is when your mind reverts back to your pre teen sex thoughts he says. And old age is a blessing that you can share your survival techniques with the younger generation. Marymarthazetta Marty my friends call me

Dam, well said. I have never really considered all of the sexual innuendos in magazines. Thanks for the eye opener

Wonderfully stated!!

:) nice.....

You got it! Basically, if it feels good do it. Don't "think" the process to death, wondering if you are doing it "right". Any chance of you adding an old voyeur to your friends list? Thanks

Nice rant! You made my day!

Awesome article! I bet you topped your English class :)

That's awesome. And so true

superbly written, and hey, the bottom line of it all, which is true for all printed (or electronic) media - it's all targeted at selling copies, rating is the only thing that motivates and drives this industry.

So, don't look for truths, scientifically researched studies or any academic level of discussion. It says "sell, sell, sell" all over it.

This is very funny. But it is true that men think about sex that much. That's hard for women to wrap their heads around, I know. Women in their thirties get to experience something similar. Something to look forward to! mean i'm going to think about it more than i already do? i hope you're joking - i'll go insane.

It's fun to see it, reminds me of being early 20's and insatiable.

...yes, except if a woman is single, she can't really do anything about it without being ****-shamed. oh **** - i hope i've got someone in my 30s, or i'll lose the plot!

A woman can get laid much more easily than most men, and some women are proud of being *****. But if that is not you (and you might not care in your thirties) then you can always be discreet, it really isn't that hard to keep a few things to yourself

Don't worry, women in their 30's are very attractive to older men. Especially ones who are sexual and know it.

...egh, how much older are we talking? :S i don't want to have to have sex with a grandpa!!
&amp; yeah - women can get laid more easily. because most men have higher sex drives. i'm the exception, unfortunately - i want &amp; need good sex, &amp; i get sexually frustrated when i don't get it.
but what makes it worse is that i'm also a slave to social conventions - i.e. if i have sex outside of a committed relationship, i'm a "****".
that &amp; i have the desire to - in a society where sex is glorified &amp; constantly in your face - keep sex special. not special in terms of "staring deeply into each others eyes" &amp; only doing it on "special occasions", but special in that it is an exclusive activity that i only share with the guy who i care about &amp; trust.

perhaps that's lame. eh - i'm 21. i don't have everything figured out yet!

Well when you are in your 30's guys in their 40's won't seem like a grandpa, lol. I don't think age matters, it's more of a cultural thing in America. In other cultures women actively seek older men, for their experience, wisdom, and knowledge in the bedroom. I don't have the anser to the **** shaming thing. I find it odd to hear women tell about how they opened up sexually to a guy and then got called a **** for it. Very stupid behavior if you ask me. I agree, the answer is finding a guy who loves sex, and loves you too. My advice, spend six months getting to know someone before taking the plunge. Really watch him in all situations, ask your friends about him, see if he is mean or disrespectful to you or to children or animals, see what his sexual attitudes are.

i've had that even with the guy i'm with now - i've never enjoyed sex as much as i have with him, &amp; i've never just let all my inhibitions go &amp; had really primal sex. he's the only one - i've told him so, but he still worries that i've been like this with other guys. sometimes he even yells at me &amp; gets angry about it. which is one thing about him i can't stand - as much as i love him, i find this pathetic - he's lucky he has plenty of good qualities to make up for it, or i wouldn't put up with it!

&amp; i live in australia - here, people my age (girls &amp; boys) are really....promiscuous? &amp; really unclassy about it (guys will be disrespectful to all girls &amp; a lot of girls will act trashy).
i kept a guy waiting 6 weeks once - he then - after numerous times of trying to get into my pants - told me he had decided to date another girl, because she was "easy" (she turned out to be insane &amp; a complete *****...he came crawling back lol).
another time i kept a guy waiting 3 weeks - he tried numerous times, but i wasn't comfortable enough with him yet, even though i really liked him &amp; was really attracted to him. he just stopped contacting me after i'd said "no" for the 3rd time, despite all the fun we had together &amp; how well we got along.

but at the same time, i'm glad those guys did what they did BEFORE i had sex with them. trouble is, a lot of guys pretend to want a relationship when really all they are interested in is sex - they pretend to like you &amp; be genuinely interested in you, you start falling for them, &amp; then they ditch you. kinda destroys your self-esteem, especially when it happens regularly....

here, if you don't have sex with a guy, they'll find someone else who will. australian's are...lazy. lol. not always a bad thing - we're pretty chilled &amp; laid back as a result - but in this case, it sucks.

Being a **** is so much more fun, just ask my wife and as for keeping sex special, her being a **** has made sex between us so much more special. We either make love or **** most days though not all but we would average about 7 to 10 times a week and we have been together for 13 years, which probably seems like an eternity for you. If we don't she gets cranky (and I get super toey). She also ***** a lot of other men as well, usually around ten a week but sometimes a lot more (20 to 30), although due to work rosters, there are some weeks she misses out on playing around. This also can lead to serious crankiness. We live in a fairly small town (less than 20,000 people) and yet she manages to avoid gaining a reputation despite ******* hundreds of men here and advertising for sex in the local paper and sometimes on line. I guess the important part of what I am trying to convey is that your sexuality is your own and you ought to be free to satisfy your desires, so long as they don't hurt others and that anything is possible. And sex with your partner after they have openly been with someone else is really special.

Hmmm, yeah I think it's not much different in Australia than here in terms of guys dumping girls who don't have sex with them. Here's the thing, as a guy, you need sex. You spend a lot of time wooing women you like, who tease and promise, but never go to bed with you. Or they blow hot and cold. They want the attention and control over the man. It's humiliating. So eventually you learn to just dump women who want to play that, as soon as possible. Otherwise, well, you never get laid, putting it squarely.

I'd say two or three months of getting to know each other, gradually increasing sexual contact, not withholding it altogether, and not giving him the feeling that he is begging. I find that relationships that start right off with sex, without going through gradual phases, may be fun, but they end rather suddenly and don't last. As for your guy, that jealousy thing is a red flag, and you can't talk it out of him. Good he has other qualities.

That jealousy may become dangerous and he will almost certainly end up trying to control more and more of your life, so expect your self esteem to get hammered while you are with him and your sense of self to be eroded beyond recognition unless he can get over it. As for relationships starting with sex burning out too quickly, I would have to say that that is totally wrong. Some people will open themselves to a committed relationship and others won't. Some people will sabotage every relationship they get into and others won't and some people will **** on a first date and live happily ever after and others will **** someone different the following night.

i dunno, you guys often have a very different view of sex than i do - which is cool, if no one is getting hurt. it just wouldn't be right for me personally - sex is an exclusive activity. heck, seeing me naked is even a big deal - i squeal &amp; run for cover when my mum walks on me getting dressed, let alone taking it all off for some random guy i don't even know!

&amp; it's the same with my boyfriend &amp; i - we have a lot of sex (usually multiple times a night &amp; in the mornings). i may not always be in the mood for it, but i give him the chance to try &amp; get me in the mood. &amp; he ALWAYS does, without fail. that &amp; i not only really enjoy our sex (holy moly he's amazing), but it has a lot of other benefits for me (adrenaline rush in the morning that wakes me up, relaxes me at night &amp; puts me to sleep, ect.).

&amp; the fact that you guys still have such frequent sex after being together for so long, makes me kind of hopeful - lots of people say that the passion typically dies out the longer you are together. you give me hope!

What are the amazing things he does for you sexually?

We love sex and especially love it with each other. Every time we **** other people it is like it is a warm up for when we get home. And every time we invite some one to share our bed with both of us it is like a Christmas feast. So our passion doesn't get a chance to die out, it just keeps building and getting stronger. BTW you look gorgeous and you deserve to be proud of your body and feeling like you need to hide it is just a mindset which you can change if you choose to

@Alex4142: i'm not talking about blowing "hot &amp; cold" &amp; wanting attention &amp; control over a guy - i'm merely talking about wanting to get to know the guy before you hop in between the sheets with them &amp; feel comfortable with them. that's all.
&amp; as a girl, we need sex too. unfortunately however, we're wired differently - we are more selective with our mates. it doesn't mean we don't crave sex (even that some of us don't crave sex as much as men - i could waste hours on *********** when i'm not in a relationship!), we just think differently about it. i had a one night stand once - sex isn't as great if it isn't with someone you care about, &amp; often you regret it (all i wanted was him to hurry up &amp; leave the next morning so i could jump in the shower &amp; try &amp; scrub off how filthy i felt).

Bleh, I wasn't saying that you personally were wanting attention and control, just saying that many women do that with no intention of having a relationship or even sex. I agree with being very selective and taking some time to select -- even for men. Yes, men and women are somewhat different about casual sex. I could do a one night stand, enjoy it, and forget it happened the next day.

@whoreshusband: honestly, as much as i adore my boyfriend, i don't think i can put up with much more - our relationship has too many good points to give up on it yet, &amp; he's usually an awesome guy, but his jealousy causes way too many issues in our relationship &amp; i've told him that if it continues, it's not going to work. so he's working on it (that &amp; his temper - sometimes he says things to intentionally hurt me out of anger, that he doesn't really mean). i also have a few things i have to work on too (e.g. reading too much into things, dwelling on things he's said &amp; done during our relationship in the past) - so i'm not perfect either!
&amp; i do really like my body - i'm actually pretty darn happy with it (&amp; i don't mean to sound vein - i'm still not perfect, &amp; wish i wasn't so lacking in the boob department!), which is more than most women can say.

@Alex4142: you always start of with that intention - why would someone keep dating someone they aren't sexually attracted to &amp; think they have the potential to have a good relationship with? that being said, it doesn't always mean that you'll feel the same way when you get to know the person - so it won't always mean that you'll end up wanting to be with that person or having sex with them.
&amp; my boyfriend doesn't enjoy casual sex - he enjoys quality over quantity, &amp; finds sex with someone he cares about a whole lot more satisfying. he's only ever had a couple of one night stands - &amp; he regrets them. so i guess it varies from guy to guy (&amp; from person to person).
&amp; with the "amazing things he does" for me sexually, i don't want to say too much but i will say this: he's the only guy who can make me squirt, &amp; make me turn into a complete animal in the bedroom. A-M-A-ZING sex. sometimes i forget to breathe, my legs turn to jelly, &amp; i think my head is going to explode from pleasure!

Sounds like a great relationship!

no, we both know it's anything but. &amp; i know personally that although i've always communicated with him about how his verbal abuse &amp; put-downs are a problem for me, i've put up with them because most of the time he's an amazing guy. but i'm at the end of my tether - it's causing too many problems in the relationship, makes me feel **** about myself &amp; (unfortunately) is now causing problems with my mother...she hates seeing me all red faced from crying all the time.
if it was only for his temper (&amp; my ability to let things go), our relationship would be amazing. i'm really working on my issues - in fact, i think i've pretty much resolved them &amp; held up my end of the bargain by fixing them. but he doesn't seem to be working all that hard to fix his issues...
give &amp; take - i'm doing an awful lot of giving &amp; he's doing an awful lot of taking!

Good for you to realize that. Verbal abuse is totally unacceptable, and you can never "fix" someone else. Hope you find someone more compatible.

And guys like that will always take from givers and to him he will always be able to take what ever he wants from you and any time he feels bad about something in his mind it will always be your fault. He has a very nasty streak to him, and usually the "great guy" that he is most of the time is the mask he uses to hide what is more than just a streak of nastiness. I have seen this sort of thing over and over among friends of mine and of my wife, and it is sad to see the turmoil women will put themselves through putting up with this sort of partner, and I am sorry to say,but the longer you stay with him the more likely his outbursts of anger are to turn physical, because the longer you are with him the more isolated you will become, making it that much harder for you to leave, increasing his feeling of ownership of you. That he is so hurtfully jealous of your past, indicates that he already considers you his possession rather than his companion and in his darker moments, he considers you to be damaged goods, and if you need any confirmation as to his true opinion of you, think of all the terrible things he has said to you, put them together, and think of how highly you would value something (not even someone) that you could describe like that. And then I bet he justifies saying those things by stating he only said it because he was angry, which is merely a denial of his responsibility of what comes out of his mouth. Much the same way a drunk driver says he didn't mean to run over and that person walking across the road, or the armed robber who didn't mean to shoot anyone, or the abusive boyfriend who didn't mean to break his girlfriend's nose and give her a pair of black eyes when she pissed him off, it just happened.........

...oh wow, you guys got it down to a t!

i DO always try to "fix" the relationship, but i can only fix what i'm doing wrong. however, because of his unwillingness to work with me (although he promises to), i try &amp; fix his issues by (for example) trying to do things to avoid his anger. which caused even more issues - his anger was so illogical that he would get angry about personal choices (good &amp; bad) that i make that he doesn't agree with, that do not concern him in any way (which worries me). because i knew that i would get a lecture, verbal abuse &amp; him raising his voice at me (the latter of which is the worst - it makes me so bloody anxious), i would lie to him about even the smallest things that i thought might make him angry. i began feeling guilty about having to lie to him all the time, &amp; i made the mistake of admitting it. i told him i do it to avoid a lecture &amp; him getting angry at me, &amp; he said that it was no reason to lie - if i do stupid things i can't expect there to be no consequences. but i'd never lie to him about anything in our relationship, because i wouldn't DO anything in it or to him that i would have to life about.

but he just has a temper - a lot of the time i'm not responsible for it, he is angry about something else &amp; takes it out on me. then he uses a whole heap of illogical reasoning to try &amp; justify him directing his anger towards me, which are usually unrelated &amp; which he'll later take back. like i said before - he says things when he's angry to upset me which he doesn't mean. which makes it particularly hard to "fix" our (already unstable) relationship - a) because i'm the only one trying to fix it &amp; b) because if he gives me reasons he doesn't mean, &amp; none of them make sense, i don't know HOW.

what's worse is when he'll apologise for something, admitting that he was wrong &amp; he shouldn't have done it, he'll then constantly find the need to turn it around on me - probably, like you said @whoreshusband, because he doesn't want to feel guilty - or to make excuses for it.
&amp; you're right - he is jealous of my past &amp; at times he has said things (which again, he claims he "doesn't mean") to indicate that he considers me almost like a possession - e.g. "why would i want used goods", or even really vulgar things that i don't even feel comfortable to repeat here because they are too hurtful...even though he has had sex with more people than me. &amp; he doesn't hide the fact that it's not ok "because i'm a girl" - which is a pretty backwards way of thinking in my eyes.

"And then I bet he justifies saying those things by stating he only said it because he was angry, which is merely a denial of his responsibility of what comes out of his mouth." - so true.

ok, that makes him out to be a really bad guy but...****. you guys are right. i really need to have a good hard think about everything. thanks guys (&amp; sorry for the ridiculously long reply...i was doing a lot of venting!)

He sounds like a borderline-disorder personality. The key marker is that it is NEVER their fault, always yours. Also, they accuse you of all the things that THEY are actually doing, by projection. Just a guess, but I've seen many of them in my life, it's a familiar pathology.

Treating you like this makes him a really bad guy, you need to accept that as soon as possible because while you keep telling yourself he is a great guy with just a few problems, you are denying the true nature of the situation. And don't think that if someone works out what his particularly "borderline personality disorder" is that it will make a difference to his behaviour because it won't. He is an arse and a bully and at the moment you are his victim. He will always be an arse because he will not take responsibility for his behaviour, but you have a choice as to whether you want to be a victim any more. You are a beautiful young woman with obvious intelligence and a generous heart. Treat yourself well and though it will hurt to end a relationship that I would guess has some strong co-dependency traits, you need to move on and keep yourself safe as well as giving yourself space to bloom. If you want to vent some more to a sympathetic (though sometimes brutally honest) ear then feel free to message. Love is a wonderful thing, probably the most powerful force in the world, but it is not what you have been receiving from this guy, no matter what he says, so it is time to go looking else where. Take some risks in life, and act spontaneously, but when you have time to consider what you have, look at your life carefully and if you have ended up in a place or a space where you are not happy, do what you need to change your circumstances. Good luck!

...sorry, i'm not exactly sure how that comment is relevant @punnished.

no - when i'm not in a relationship, i don't have sex. a) because it's not as enjoyable with someone i don't care about &amp; trust &amp; b) because (unfortunately) i'm a slave to social conventions &amp; ideals.
i've been through a period once where i didn't have sex for almost 2 years. i went insane - i was angsty all the time, turned into a man-hater, became pretty much a **** addict (sometimes i'd watch it for up to 3 hrs a day!) &amp; sometimes would even cry.
i have a higher sex drive than most women (even at my age) but unlike men, there is a social stigma for me to go out &amp; just have sex, &amp; unfortunately i allow myself to suffer from societies ideals, probably because i live in a small place where everyone seems to know each other &amp; everyone talks.

don't be silly - you didn't offend me at all. i'm not that much of a sensitive sally!

Women in their thirties may think about sex more, but because that is when they usually have small children, they often lack the time and energy to actually make it happen.

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lol you right and good ridden

There was a study done in Sweden recently, where they actually hooked people up to monitor the activation of the areas corresponding to sexual thought. Your skepticism is entirely warranted. In fact, we think about sex far less often than every seven seconds--I think it worked out to twice per waking hour--and was roughly equal for men and women.

I think they stuffed that survey up, my wife would greatly exceed that mark and I would definitely be worse, or better, depending on your perspective. Maybe they hooked up a bunch of prudes........

haha well if your wife has a high sex drive, she would probably consider you "better"!
no, i don't think so - i think this probably is typical, perhaps even exaggerated for most women - you hear about women all the time who withhold sex to punish their partner for something (the idea of which to me personally just sounds like punishing myself as well!) or who just never want to do it (only after they've gotten the ring on their finger, of course).

i would say i personally exceed that average, but i know i have a much higher sex drive than most women. sometimes i only think about it once per waking hour...but it's for the ENTIRE hour (&amp; possibly the next). &amp; when i'm really horny, i can't stop thinking about it. i'll go out &amp; do things normally, but it's always in the back of my mind, &amp; will pop-up in the forefront constantly.

We are talking averages, but even so, those women withholding sex might still be thinking about it and it is possible that their thoughts are not triggering the response that was being measured. Even so, it doesn't matter, just enjoy your sexuality

Interesting ... I am obsessed all the time and I thought I was like that cos I am a girl in bed ... this turns that thought upside down but that's OK. Good to know.

...sorry, i'm confuzzled - why does being a "girl" have anything to do with it?

that was a great read thanks

This is one of the most brilliant, thought provoking work of wordplay I've read all year. Kudos to such a gifted linguist! Evidence that the mind is a sultry vixen when we truly set it free. If you're not already keeping a partner on their toes, I wish you all the luck in future endeavors.

Well written, but I don't think I agree with many of your assertions.

The first, yes, in an ideal world a couple would go behind closed doors and "work it out for themselves." But most people are not comfortable talking about sex, even with their intimate partner. That sucks, and I wish it weren't true, but I would bet that the majority of the time it is. The articles you speak of cater to the majority of people who don't discuss sex that openly with their partner and so they rely on magazines and other sources of information to give them ideas. Honestly, I think the thing that has caused many of the problems is keeping sex "hidden" behind closed doors. This leads to another statement you made that I disagree with....

I very much doubt that most of our ancestors were "good in the sack." Being able to procreate is quite different than being good at sex. Two teenagers just out of puberty that have never had sex can have intercourse and procreate. Do you think either of them would consider the sex they had as "good?" Well, the boy would since for most teenage boys any sex is good sex, but I doubt the girl would.

In my opinion, we're much better off having "too much sex" in the popular culture than going back to the way it was where sex was something to be hidden behind closed doors and never discussed.