My Precious!

Last year Tony Abbott declared that women's virginity was a "precious gift". This wording coming from Mr Red Speedos "Stop The Scrote" himself, was enough to have us stewing in our juices & spewing in our mouths. There were several things shady about it: one was the commodification of women's bodies & the other was the sexist omittance of male virginity from the equation. Surely it's time society took a spoonful of Equal when it comes to male virginity. Is it worth anything to anyone?

Here's a joke: with women's virginity 'the gift' comes in a white box with a red ribbon, you open it carefully & inside you find a Faberge egg. It's handcrafted, delicate & something you'll cherish for the rest of your life. With men's virginity 'the gift' comes in a plastic bag & inside you find a Cadbury Creme Egg. It'll last you about a minute & you'll fell sick afterwards.

As opposed to being a prize, male virginity is usually seen as an affliction - something a boy should lose as soon as possible so he can get on with becoming a man. If he holds onto it for too long then he becomes dorky & weird, like The 40-Year-Old Virgin. A girl on the other hand should cherish hers for as long as possible to remain pure. So, who are guys supposed to be losing their virginity to? Their hands? A Natalie Portman beanbag? These double standards are hopelessly out of date. Surely it's time views were refreshed & boys were coaxed into the conversation.

I was 17 when I found my non-virginity. Thankfully, it was with someone I loved. After one too many sessions of dry humping, under the full moon of rampaging hormones I wrote a letter to my girlfriend suggesting we go all the Hobart. We planned the trip over to see Silverchair & stay overnight in a hotel. I even asked her father's permission to go. It was thoughtfully planned & full of mutual respect & tenderness - value qualities to carry into intimacy.

The language around virginity has always been blatantly partriarchal. Even the word vagina has shifty origins - taken from the Latin term meaning "sheath for a sword". Woman is conquered by the man who claims her virginity as a trophy. This construct is archaic & spaz. The First Time is just as intimidating for both sexes. I know it scared to **** out of me.

Here's an idea for a sex education class: tactfully explain to boys how temperamental the penis is, & the irony of getting 101 unwanted erections on the bus, but not a one when faced with your gorgeous girlfriend naked in a bed. Not to mention the rubber chicken tango with the condom & mental firefight to top yourself from coming too soon. My first time was like showering in a raincoat while trying to assemble IKEA furniture. I suffered months of angst over my lack of control & developed a big ol' man-failure complex (& an appreciation of Radiohead).

The myth of a girl preferring a boy more sexually experienced & in control wasn't the case with myself or those in my friendship group. It was a plunge taken together, hand-in-hand with our partners. I understand this isn't always the case, & sex is sometimes entered into under dodgy conditions. The first impression is so vital, & botching it up can create all kinds of negative cycles. Surely the value of a boy's V Plates is in the education he receives on both the physical & emotional aspects of sex & the responsibilities he must face. Most of this can be found in American Pie 3. Maybe one day Julia Gillard can tell men their virginity is a precious gift. After all, the combo of politicians & sex is the greatest contraceptive of all.
smashbandit smashbandit
22-25, M
May 11, 2012