TES (Totally Ecstatic Sex) : Ultimate Work Out Equipment

 In order to stay fit, healthy and in shape I work out a couple of times a week. Some days I have a difficult time getting motivated because to be quite honest, I hate working out. Even with an ipod, and movies, it is boring as hell most of the time. I have a routine and I am constantly looking for newer and more interesting ways to exercise. One day I was googling for fun as I often do and I punched in sexercise.  A bunch of web sites came up and I checked out a few. I was disappointed to see that most of them just talked about calories burned during sex, which positions burn more and a few other mundane things, nothing very hot. Then I came across a BBC article

from February 2006 titled: ‘sexercise yourself into shape’  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4703166.stm

The article quotes from the NHS (National Health Service)   http://www.nhs.uk/    : “According to the NHS Direct website, "sexercise" can lower the risk of heart attacks and helps people live longer.

Endorphins released during ****** stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.” Even though sex experts doubted the findings the NHS was quoted further: “NHS Direct, however, told the paper the content was "backed by science and clinical evidence" and "isn't just a bit of fun". Sex with a little energy and imagination provides a workout worthy of an athlete, the article says.

 If you're worried about wrinkles - ******* even help prevent frown lines from deepening 

NHS Direct

"Forget about jogging round the block or struggling with sit-ups.

"Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories an hour."


          Interesting. Indulging in an hour long good sex romp will burn off a bag of m&m’s and a cracker. Come on, we have to be able to do better than that. Back to google, I added equipment to sexercise. I laughed when I saw that “adult toys” were being marketed as “sexercise equipment”. Different types of exercise apparatus were also written up in assorted blogs espousing a great work out for two. One blog stated honestly that the lubrication caused them to slide off resulting in injury. OUCH! Of all the stuff out there to exercise with, one would think that somebody would invent a better work out machine.

          My dream work out machine would be one that someone would literally have to pry my tightly gripped fingers from. My machine would reward my work out with an intense ****** every time I used it. We have the technology, so why isn’t it on the market yet? This idea has the potential to change world health, both physical and mental. I can see the commercials now, “Coming to a store near you”, “Come your way to good health and a great work out.” “4 out of 5 gynecologists recommend the TES (Totally Ecstatic Sex)  sexercise machine, over the next leading competitor.”

If I could get on an apparatus and complete the specified number of repetitions, there would be no better way to keep me going than with a boost from an ******. Yes indeedy, I would wear that sucker out, and in the process get a great hard body out of it. What a concept! So where is the sexercise machine store? Come on! I know that patents have been issued for just this type of invention. I know this because while working on a research project I came across them in the national archives. Believe it or not, inventors have been at this one for more than a hundred years. I guess it will remain just a distant work out dream……………… unless some talented and extremely horny engineer wants a challenge. How about it mechanical engineers? Oh, and when you get it built, I would love to be the 5th person to check it out. That way I will know if it works and is safe enough to use if the first four guinea pigs make it.

Tempt Ya Later! ; )





TeslasTemptress TeslasTemptress
46-50, F
21 Responses Feb 27, 2009

how someone find a partner for sexercise

You can watch me sexersize anytime, but fyi, ima married to a( sexless) man, but an aspiring lesbian.xxxxxoooo ttys

Damn you're smart. Tesla would be proud.๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽผโšกโšก๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘…

Sounds like you need plowed lol

Oh...but there already is such things. They are both organic and inorganic. I truly have been one and built the other...not exactly in that order...sorry

Hmmm My Wife and I make love each morning and we have done so each day for the past seven years.

I always arouse her slowly and gently and when she is ready I provide her with oral sex and generally add a vibrator. However on the rate occasions that she has significant difficulty achieving an ****** I pull out her Sybian from the closet and choose a appropriate small attachment. This machine delivers her to ****** inside three minutes - it is a serious piece of equipment. It can deliver a woman to repeated ******, as long as she can handle it and there have been reports of Women who have literally had to be helped off of it. I have only had to bring it out perhaps once each month.

I use it as a last resort as it is such a serious machine, it is not gentle though it can go slowly but the vibrations are significant and it is a powerful - you want sexercise? This machine will give you a serious work out.

Awesome thinking, I agree :)!

Would love to train with you

Hi I'm Jason 36Year in San Antonio. Love to good fun my number. (210)702-7076

My husband and I sexercise still 5-7 times a week on the low end. It is great, the heart rate goes up, bodies glistening from sweat. In the 10 yrs we've been together we have an awesome routine going and its never been boring or dull. He or we always come up with something different. Now even to add spice we've been looking to add people to our routine. Its a great way to stay bonded and enjoy each other, Happy Wife equals Happy Life :)


great writing , Teslas Temptress. And a whole lot of truth,too.thanks for sharing.Love n Hugs

If ************ counts as sexercise, do it. Yes, you'll burn some calories from the actual ************ and work up a good sweat. Additionally, you'll feel the need to release liquid-- that's essentially free weight loss right there. Just keep away from replenishing fluids for a while and go for additional releases of liquid. When you replenish fluids, drink a smaller amount than normal. It's working for me. :)

Absolutely I do , any chance I get and feel young and vital . ;D cAnDy<br />
Thank you enjoyed story ..

My wife came up with a couple of great ideas for a Wii Sex game. The Wii controllers and balance board work by measuring movements and using movements to control the onscreen actions.<br />
<br />
Using various Wii controllers, the game would enable you to practice and perfect various sexual techniques. The Wii ***** would measure pressure and rate your Kegals or BJ skills. It would offer tips to improve yourself and of course practice, practice, practice. Using 2 balance boards, couples could work together to improve their capabilities with various positions. All in all, I think one of these sexercise machines would be easy to make and market and like you, am puzzled as to why they aren't.

coffee............and then we'll see.......

Coffee, then we work it out together... sounds like a plan........

Where you at? Wanna meet for coffee?

Where you at? Come on over Cher! Let me show you my equipment...

Really?! *chuckles*

I have just the "apparatus" that you are looking for! =>