Best Shaquille O'neal Quotes of All Time

 
Shaq Quotes On Basketball:
"Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem.  There is no answer"

Shaq Quotes On Free Throws:
"When I concentrate and focus, they always go in, so I’m gonna continue to do that, and they will go in.”  (Explaining the miracle he performed in hitting two consecutive free throws.)

"Me having a beautiful wife and great family and friends around me, all the money I’ve got, all the things that I’ve got, a Ferrari that I just ripped the top off of and turned into a convertible, the rings I got, the two mansions on the water, a master’s in criminal justice, I’m a cop, plus I look good. So me shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God’s way of saying that nobody’s perfect. If I shot 90 percent from the line, it just wouldn’t be right.”

 

Shaq Sound Bites:

Shaq Quotes On Education:
“I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I’m very intelligent when I speak


Referring to finally graduating from Louisiana State University, at the age of 30, receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in General Studies:
“It took eight years; it should have taken six or seven. I had some other engagements.”
“I’m the first graduate of LSU to graduate in crayon biology.”
“I thought (finishing school) would be easy, but it was kind of hard. Thank God for the Internet.”
“I feel very secure now.  I can get a real job now.”
“I had to re-teach myself how to study, re-teach myself how to read.”


Referring to his MBA from the University of Phoenix:
“Solidifies that I’m a businessman….I could always go and have a conversation with Mr. Gates or Mr. Trump. But now that I have this, I can really have a conversation with them on the same level that they have their conversations.”

 

Shaq Quotes On His Nicknames:
“The Big Stock Exchange.”  I start off at one price.  Every now and then I’ll go down, but eventually I’ll go back up.

“The Big IPO.”  Put your money on me.  Because when I go public, we all gonna make money.”

“The Big Aristotle” was coined the day I won the MVP last year [2000].  I stole a quote from that Greek philosopher cat: “Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit.  You are what you repeatedly do.”

Can’t forget “The Big Antarctica” because I’m so cold.

Or “The Big Havlicek,” which is what I called myself after making a bunch of foul shots one night.

How about “The Big Felon” for when I made a steal against Orlando and had a breakaway dunk with 15 seconds left, forcing overtime of what would become a Lakers victory?

And, of course, “The Almighty Conceitedness.”  That’s the highest level of arrogance.  I made that up, too.

 “If I were a painter, you’d be calling me Shaqcasso.”

“The Big Cactus…because if you come too close, you’re gonna get stuck.”  (Referring to his first new nickname as a Phoenix Sun.)

CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER: If you were an AND 1 player, what nickname would you have?
SHAQ: Lemme see…what would it be?  Probably, uh…Diesel.  Either Diesel or…you know, I don’t know.
CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER: Come on, man.  You’re famous for your nicknames.  I thought you’d come up with something better than that.
SHAQ: All right.  How ‘bout O’nealiony Montana?
CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER: O’Nealiony Montana?
SHAQ: Yeah, because I’m the biggest thing to hit Miami since Tony Montana.


Shaq Quotes On Games and Players:
“They shot the ball well early.  What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.”  (Referring to the Heat-Celtics game, in which Miami overcame a 25-point deficit to defeat Boston.)

"That dude scored 8 points in the last 19 seconds, pulled out a miracle win at the Garden.  He made me choke on a chicken bone that day.  I’m serious.”

After Chris Bosh accused Shaq of getting away with three-second violations in the lane:
“That’s strong words coming from the RuPaul of big men….I’m going to do the same thing (in the next game) I did before — make him quit.”

Shaq Quotes On Yao Ming:

“Tell Yao Ming, ‘ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’”  (Accompanied with approximated kung fu moves.)

“You know what’s crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don’t know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He’s like, ‘Whassup big fella?’ Perfect English!”
 

Shaq Quotes On Coaches:
“Incense. Books. Just weird.”  (When asked how Phil Jackson’s coaching style is different from those of other coaches.)

“It’s my job to make him look good.  He’s a very good looking man, so it’s my job to keep him looking good.”  (On Pat Riley.)

"He looks like a woman coach sometimes. I guess he’s just trying to get into certain people’s heads, but it won’t work with me. Like a woman who coaches and cries all the time. He can’t get in my head. He’s a crybaby.”-- Shaq on Supersonic Coach George Karl, after Seattle beat Los Angeles 106-92 in the first game of their second-round playoff series. (5/98)

Shaq Quotes On Defense:
“I’m the first player in history that doesn’t want to play defense and still gets in foul trouble.” 


Shaq Quotes On Movies:
REPORTER: Favorite movie all-time besides Kazaam?
SHAQ: Kazaam 2.  Hasn’t been shot yet.
REPORTER: Can we look for that coming to a theater near us?
SHAQ: Yes, it’ll be out in 2038.
REPORTER: I look forward to the release of Kazaam 2.
SHAQ: Yes, 2039.  I just talked to the producer.  I thought it was ‘38…2039.

Shaq Quotes On Celebrities:
REPORTER: Most embarrassed or flattered you’ve been about the behavior of an A-list celebrity who was shocked to be around you?

SHAQ: One time Michael Jackson was looking at my house in Orlando. He was sitting on the big round bed Indian-style, like a kid, and said, “How much for the entire house? I’ll buy it all because of the bed.”  The bed is 30 feet long by 15 feet wide.


Shaq Quotes On Misc Stuff:
“You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen.  Now me, I’m the showman of big men.”

“I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.”  -- O’Neal, after tumbling into the stands and hugging a fan during a Feb. 10 visit to AmericanAirlines Arena

“I just want everyone to know I’m suing Ruben Studdard. He had his hand on my *** and he wouldn’t let go.”  (Referring to falling onto Ruben Studdard after a dunk in the 2004 All-Star game.)

“Don’t Fake the Funk on a Nasty Dunk.”

Shaq Quotes On Endorsements:
“I endorse only products I actually use.  Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it.  Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away.  Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat.  Apple Shaqs.  Yeah.”
 

 

Shaq On Kobe