I used to hate it when I was younger. I was androgynous. I looked more like a girl than a boy and people would often get confused. But when I hit the age of 16 I thought it was something erotic. I had already figured I was pretty much gay and by my looks I classified myself as a bottom. But still I was new to everything. It started to change when I had my first boyfriend. He was a attractive guy 10 years older than me. I met him through a gay friend. After we started dating he would give me panties, and made me wear them. He would often bend me over and tear a hole so he could shove his **** into me without taking them off. He liked to hear me scream telling me I had sweet voice.. I remembered the first time being painful but at the same time addictive. I kind of liked the pain it caused when he entered me. Then was when I embraced my androgyny. My face is slightly cute and I have a small build.. And my body is my most androgynous part of me. I have hint of hips a very feminine tummy. And an *** that's a little biggish on my frame. After my first boyfriend and I broke up. I had this feeling inside me that I wanted to have a rough guy as my man. To have me wear girly clothing or panties and to **** me hard enough to make me feel like a sissy. I started to take a lot of pictures of myself in sexual positions. I uploaded them on the internet just so I could meet men. I had become addicted to the feel of a real man inside me. Still i*m kind of addicted although I can control it better.. I guess I can say i*m a sissy and I do love it.