I Want Her To Be Able To Understand What I'm Saying

It's so frustrating when I have to continually stop & rephrase a sentence because the person I'm talking with can't comprehend either the subject or vocabulary.  I'm a woman with pretty good  intelligence myself.  To be honest it is one of the reasons that I prefer women.  Studies have proven that we have higher intelligence.  The patriarchy held women back for so long that the "dumb blonde" thing sadly became thought of as appealing.  I've even had teachers that told me growing up I would do better with the boys if I didn't show them that I was more intelligent.  Of course I didn't care anyhow.  

I have had potential partners who after one conversation each could tell it wasn't going to work because she couldn't keep up with what I was trying to say.  I am a writer & love words.  I even had one woman get mad at me because she thought I was purposely trying to act intelligent.  It just comes, I do attempt to keep it at general vocabulary at first but as I relax more complex concepts & larger vocabulary flown in.  I think it's better to get these things out of the way right away anyhow. In the first hour I also establish my interests, the fact that I only will practice safe sex, my partnership status, & that I don't believe in monogamy.   If these things are issues then neither of us has devoted more time than necessary & can say we have had a good conversation while we move on.

lezfemme lezfemme
51-55, F
3 Responses Mar 9, 2010

I read this story of yours again tonight and found another thing you said to be true. People need to tell each other truths about themselves to see what the other person thinks of the idea. If someone is going to firmly disagree with one of your fundamental truths about yourself, then the right move is to move on. No one needs to fool themselves into thinking that it will work out no matter what. People do not need to try to change each other. This is true in any type of relationship, any sexual orientation, any gender.

Good post lezfemme :) I agree with you about a person being able to keep up with your level of intelligence and ideas. I believe it is very important to be able to communicate in an excellent manner since it will enrich the relationship as time goes by especially to be on the same level. It is an indication of compatibility. Even friendships flow the same way. I cannot officially call myself a writer though i do love to write. I do the same in my social interaction, bringing out my more extensive vocabulary and turn of phrase as i get to know the person better. So nice to read your post dear :) xox

Clearly, a relationship of equals means equal intelligence. I have to agree there. I can't imagine living with a dummy -- wait, yes I can. My last b/f was one. Of course my partner now, a woman, is also a college professor, so.... I REALLY changed things up!