My Smoking Test Of TimeI knew I wanted to be a smoker when I was 8. I started smoking when I was 12. I was up to a pack a day at 13 and I have smoked that much or more ever since. I smoke Marlboro 100s, although in a pinch any full flavor 100 is ok. Lights are for ******* and posers. I now smoke 1.5-4ppd, depending on other factors, like partying, 420, etc. I am a radical smoker in that I feel smoking is my right and people who have no right to do so are trying to force their lifestyle on me. I love smoking. I love smokers. I love being addicted. I think my addiction is awesome. Smoking is pleasure and i dig pleasure. I like feeling good. I am not shy about sharing my views, either. I like my lighters to have big flames so people see when I light up and I light up in public as often and as dramatically as I can. I make and wear shirts that glorify and proclaim smoking awesomeness. And anytime I can guide and encourage people to become smokers I do so enthusiastically.
Why is this wrong? What is wrong with feeling good? The staus quo has given us 4,000 years of non-stop war, poverty, starvation, disease and strife. Native Americans didn't call it a "war pipe". It was a "peace pipe". And, in fact, if everyone were always smoking, no one would be fighting because one hand would be holding their cigarette, and, they would be feeling really good! But here is my beautiful ending to this...
Three years ago I broke my leg and it required two steel screws to put it back together. When I awoke from the surgery the surgeon said "You are in the best shape we have ever seen for anyone your age (52) in this hospital. Ever." I said, "Excuse me? Are you kidding me, doc? Do you have any clue how much I smoke? Any idea how much I have drank over the years? And, finally, do you even have a clue how much drugs I've done? Yes, I'm active, but, if what you say is true I am either the biggest anomaly (exception) in the history of the human race, or, they are lying to us about the negative effects of these things. Which is it, doc?" His answer, a doctor, mind you, and they are famous for never saying anything, "It's probably a combination of the two." i.e., they are lying at least in that they are at the very least embellishing and overstating.
I'm skinny. Obesity is the biggest health problem in America. I ride a bike 60-100 miles a week. And I do it with a cigarette in my hand. I am peaceful, mellow, non-violent and happy. I love being addicted. And I'm going to keep on smoking as much as I want. To anyone else who recently wrote a similar story in this group... you rock buddy. Stay lit. Enjoy. Smoke. It's totally awesome.