When I Became Addicted To Cigarettes.

Forty years of smoking is bad enough. But to play old family reel to reel tapes that I borrowed from my brother to listen to and put on cassette tapes and find out I was smoking at age three was unbelievable. In the span of 10 months(from the first tape to the last one), I was referring to smoking on the first, and smoking on the next two(from Summer of 1965 to xmas 1965). Here is my story...

No one in the family ever told me, and as time went by, they forgot. Even when my mom found out I was smoking when I was 17, she never told me either. She probably forgot... Only people in my family will know my voice(of course), but to anyone else, there is a child's voice asking for a puff, and it's me. And then what follows...Everything falls into place. I know I started smoking regularly at age 11. I have a reel to reel tape here from when I was 3 and 4. In 1965 I was three, in 1966, I was four. I put these on cassette tape about 10 years ago, but really didn't listen to them closely until I put it on the PC a month ago and equalized it so I could hear it more clear. I wish I played it for my mom, because she would've told me then if I did or not. She isn't here anymore. As for this audio tape, I don't remember anything. I would guess they made me quit after five years(due to a picture of mom waving a newly lit cigarette two feet from me on xmas of 1968). I don't remember smoking or not smoking while going through Elementary school (but I could've been smoking occasionally hitting ones in ashtrays--I don't know), but as two tapes show, I was already smoking before these tapes were made and probably started by hitting one in an ashtray, or my two brothers(they didn't but maybe they tried it one day and let me puff it) dared me to smoke, or mom and dad just gave me one to smoke. As for when I had my first drag on a cigarette, who knows exactly what age I started, 2 or 3 I guess. Because when I started, or restarted smoking regularly at age 11, I thought I was doing something secretly and that would explain why I didn't cough or as to why I dreamed about smoking right before I started smoking regularly. Anyways, first tape I date around March of 1965. My brother asked me how old I was and I said "Geah". (ci-geah-ette maybe). Well, it must've been, because he hit me twice and yelled at me, "Don't say that!"...Then from Summer of 1965, the second tape. Second tape---we were visiting relatives with my whole family there, and my mom was lighting a cigarette and I said, I want...She said, "blah blah, can't leave it alone now." My dad said, "It will burn", and I said, in a worried voice, "Why?" So I was smoking at that age and the whole family knew. WOW! Now 3 minutes later in that tape, I went into the next room and asked someone else. I said "Puff, puff, just one puff(in desperation)." With the sound of my voice, I really wanted that cigarette. Listening to that is great! Boy, I had more nerve then than I did later on in life. They (whoever it was), gave it to me. Then, my brother says to my other brother, "Do you smell smoke?". They were busting my chops I guess. My brother came up to me and said my name and that I blew smoke right in his face. That started a talk about smoking with the whole family. Now a minute later, I started throwing a small fit because they took it away from me. I yelled "Mommy!" So, apparently, I was addicted to them at that age and already smoking for about a year. Probably when I turned three. No one in my family made a big deal of it, so they all knew that I smoked. Well, 30 seconds later, the tape ended. cool! Man, I just wished I remembered this. So, with that all said, I have been addicted to cigarettes for 48 years out of my 51 years, with maybe 1-3 years of maybe not smoking(I am not sure)or smoked occasionally. I don't know...So that means I have been smoking for over 90% of my life. No lie, it's on tape. Seems like everybody in my family forgot this. I do have one brother left to ask. Let's see if he remembers. And finally, on Christmas day, 1965, after opening our Christmas presents we were all in the conversation, and out of the blue I said to my mom, "I want cigarette". She said 'Wait, wait". We left the conversation(her and I), the tape went on for 70 seconds and ended. So I was already, probably smoking for a year then. Then I have a picture from 1968 with me sitting at my drumset, and only mom's hand two feet from my face with a newly lit cigarette in it. It sure as hell look like she was going to give it to me. I managed to only smoke 15 cigarettes a day for the last 32 years which may save me since I have been smoking all of my life. I still can't believe I have been smoking my WHOLE life, 94% of it, which is truly fascinating and to hear me practically pleading for one at age three is mind boggling. Even if they made me quit for 1-2 years, I still have been addicted to them for 48 out of my 51 years. damn LOL

Now when I turned age 11, I got the same smoking dreams over and over again of me lighting my own cigarette in the bathroom. Everytime I almost had it lit, someone would interrupt me and I would wake up. I wanted to smoke so bad. So, one day I came home after school, and there was a cigarette on the floor. The time was right. Well, I immediately grabbed matches and went outside to smoke. Well, that was it. After dinner I stole two more from my mom and started smoking 3-4 a day. Stealing them, buying my own. Looking back at it, it may have been planted there by my parents to see if I was smoking. It makes me wonder because that was the only time in my life did I ever see a cigarette underneath the kitchen table. My profile pic of what got me through life.....I smoked Winston 100s first(whatever mom gave me, then at age 11, I stole whatever she had(and she bought a few different ones so I got to sample a lot of them, but mostly Winston 100s). While at a parents friend's house at age 12, I found a few Salem 100s under an end table while watching TV by myself. I stole them, loved them and smoked those for 22 years before trying Newport 100s, which I smoked for over a year. Then I tried Marlboro Menthol 100s around 15 years ago and been smoking those ever since. In 1991 I tried to quit, it lasted three days, I couldn't take it anymore, so i went to the store and bought a carton of Salem 100s and never tried to quit again. And yes, I worry all the time about lung cancer, but I have been smoking so long, the damage is done, so I am not going to derive myself of what I love.
Sorry for being so long...
I hope you enjoyed this. It is a true story, swear.
SmokerAtThree SmokerAtThree
51-55, M
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

Yes it doesn't make my parents look good, but my other three brothers didn't smoke. I was the lucky one. lol