Smoking Stop Start

I buy a pack of ten and smoke about five or six then decide its not good even though I enjoyed them. I throw them away then a week later go through the same process. I've never been addicted because I never smoke enough but there must be a craving because I keep buying them. I wish I wasn't so guilty or health concious because I want to enjoy them. I would be happy to smoke ten a day. I love a smoke with coffee and the craving first thing in the morning and lighting up for the first inhale. Am I guilty because I am not a younger person and feel worried about starting and letting friends see me, or I could be worried about calling myself a smoker. I've just bought my next pack of ten and heres hoping I get through them and buy twenty and continue contented inhaling.